[eelsauces]

My thoughts aren't working right, it's like I've got a word salad going on in my brain and it's really really difficult to keep it together on the outside. It's interfering with schoolwork because I can't gather my thoughts enough to write simple things, even this is difficult.

I feel like something is following me nearby. My math teacher's name is supposed to be Wanda, but it isn't and nobody would believe me if I told them that's what it's supposed to be. I'm terrified. Words, sometimes in different languages are just floating around in my head. What the hell is going on, is this psychosis or something?? It's terrifying.

I read both of your threads, but thought I’d reply to them both in this one post, if that’s ok.

First off, I’m sorry that you are struggling with these experiences right now, and that your parents aren’t supportive. If it were me, I’d push the trans angle to get a therapist since you say they are open to that. Then you can talk about anything to the therapist, and they would be better placed to figure out what is going on for you than we would be. Your sessions should be confidential so the therapist shouldn’t talk to your parents about them if you don’t want, or you could allow them to talk to your parents about the gender stuff you talk about, but nothing else, if you’re happy to share that.

A therapist could also try to talk them around if they thought that you needed more help than therapy alone. By that, I don’t necessarily mean that I think that you are starting to experience psychosis, though you would need to be evaluated in person to be sure. People often worry a lot about developing psychosis and it’s usually not, but I can understand the fear. Hearing things around sleep is considered a normal experience - hypnagogic and hypnopomipc hallucinations. Also severe stress and anxiety can really do a number on people and cause all kinds of dissociative experiences that can feel like you are losing your mind/touch with reality. It can also massively affect cognitive functioning, which resolves when the stress and anxiety is treated/resolved. Or it could be something else, idk. It’s really best to be evaluated by a professional to know for sure though, which is why I suggest getting a T first as your parents are on board with that, see what the T thinks/suggests, and then take it from there.

I wish you all the best

*Willow*

[Dan Raleigh]

Try meditation. Sometimes that's the best thing to do!!