[omanytee]

Since around 6 years I've been getting more and more intrusive thoughts/feelings, I think my mindset also significantly changed along with these thoughts. These thoughts are about processes going on around or in me. I'm doing something, then I will get the thought about it then I can't do it spontaneously anymore, can't get the thought out of my head. Thing is for a long time I wasn't addressing these thoughts and was naturally treating them like they were normal for everyone.
One day I simply decided that this is not normal, and started telling everyone about it. My awareness of this problem is not normal, it's like I'm deluded but can tell that I'm deluded. All the things that I say about my problem are not .. resonating with me. I feel that something is wrong with my consciousness as well, I think that I never thought about myself before, and now that I'm doing it, it's coming out in this third person perspective. I first thought this was sensorimotor OCD but the third person thing bothered me.

My posts are always a mess, but hopefully people will read & understand something. I really need any kind of help right now.