Roll Call 125

Gonna get drunk

Good job. I just want to get out of the obese side of the scale.

1 to the 2 to the 3 I like good ***** and I like good trees.

Well done!

Im huddled in a closet, drinking.

ugh God I'm so tired of ringing ppl up all day

No one else like good ***** and good tree?

Thats such a great feeling.

Well that’s not healthy.
You seem to be on a downhill spiral . What’s going on? There has to be more to it than a tiff about white privilege.

I tried drinking last night but it felt weird so I stopped and went to sleep

Could be the Invega

Yes ever since i started smoking pot ive been going downhill. Ive only smoked it twice recently. Mostly cbd, but ive been using pot, cigs, and alcohol to deal with my problems again.

I even declined seeing my peer worker cuz if she finds out ill be kicked out of group and other services for drinking and smoking.

ANYWAY

the bf was extremely hurt about the white privilege comment because he thought i was saying hes gotten everything cuz hes white. Which isnt what i meant. I meant hes treated with respect more when it comes to police/authority/businesses (like salespeople) cuz his skin color. (Everyone heard about the two black men kicked out of starbucks for using it bathroom? Yea). Thats what i meant. But i didnt tell him. I just said i was sorry.

He did say that social media shouldnt come between us. I agree.

AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF he said he wasnt coming over today because of what was said. Even tho I profusely apologized. He accepted it but he still didnt come over.

Cant help but feel like everything is going downhill because of me...

Have you considered getting a separate therapist you can pay for when you get a job? Someone you can talk to about your problems so you don’t turn to pot, cigs and alcohol. I know right now finances would be an issue but something to think about when you get a job.

Well my vocational counselor thought about giving me a therapist. A private one. And his agency would pay for it.

Maybe i should tell him i want to do tha

I have one now but i only see her once a month. But i hate that clinic. Cant believe theyd deny me services cuz drinking. Pot yea but drinking... wow!

Kind of defeats the purpose of having a therapist if you can’t tell them a fight sent you off to drink in your closet without fear of being kicked off services.

Yea it sucks

Night night

Off to take a nap

Will have to wait 3 weeks to see a therapist here then he/she will set me up with a psychiatrist through the TV cuz a wait to see a psychiatrist here is 6 months.

I'm going to see if I can get the psychiatrist through the TV that started me on the Invega injection and she can put me back on Vyvanse instead of Concerta.

I’m bored. My daughter has a fever so she is sleeping, my son is off on his bike, and my husband went to pick his mom up from the airport. I have nothing to do.

I cant sleep

I need to stop drinking for awhile like 3-5 days maybe a week

Saw my doctor today. Told him about my episode last month where my meds didn’t work and I was hypomanic for a day. Jokingly said that I’m sensitive. We get along well and joke a lot so it was funny. But it’s true too. I must get that from my mother she’s really sensitive to medications.

Also told him that I felt depressed yesterday and almost self harmed but kept myself busy.

Told me to just keep on keeping on and take my meds and don’t do anything crazy and I’ll see him again in a month. If I’m still doing good next month we might change it to three months.

People done piss me off

What happened?

Just people being petty little shits.

Is she awake yet?