Roll Call 144

Blue_Bird · Mar 10, 2019 at 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Are you in therapy?

Yes, I've been seeing the same therapist for a few years

Desoxyn · Mar 10, 2019 at 01:47 PM

Hello. Swallowed a vyvanse at 9am so I didn't sleep in. Finished my pack of cigarettes. I want to buy more to feed the schiz but I won't. Going to make coffee and study..

newtus · Mar 10, 2019 at 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Yes, I've been seeing the same therapist for a few years

How are u doing right now?

Mar 10, 2019 at 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I don't know. I'm not sure, I mean I haven't been manic since the trileptal was upped to 1200mg but I also am not happy, I don't feel the amazing happiness I always used to feel. The seroquel helps me sleep, I don't want it increased though, I mean I was on 500mg a long time ago, I don't remember anything about that though. I take 200mg at night, within an hour and a half I can hardly walk and feel very drunk so I end up falling asleep. I just feel like I have to fix things some other way

My boss gave me an ultimatum, either come into work on time of start to work part time, either way he had a business to run and needed order to plan out his schedule.

I had to accept my hypomania and begin to fix my hypomania by way of benzos and upping my anti psychotics. This sleeplessness didn't occur until I stopped taking my mood stabilizer, but the mood stabilizer gave me urinary retention and I had to get off it and rely solely on AP's and Bezos. Whie trying to fidx all of this I had to sleep every other day. It was one of the most miserable times of my life trying to fix my sleep issue, but I only started to fix it when I had to accept I had hypomania.

FOr a short term fix, benzos and Benadryl worked, but anti psychotics and mood stabilizers are the long term fix.

Blue_Bird · Mar 10, 2019 at 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

How are u doing right now?

I'm okay, thanks Newtus

I guess I'm just frustrated because my therapist always wants me to tell my doctor about these things, they work in the same clinic. My therapist and doctor are wonderful, but I don't want to add meds or anything. My mood has been so screwed up lately that I'm afraid for anything even to be adjusted because who knows what would happen then, things are falling apart in my life,I'm managing to convince my sister that everything is okay mainly because we live in different towns and she works a lot so she doesn't see me day to day. I'm just trying to get by, I can't afford for things to get any worse than they are or I'll end up failing this semester. I'm not sure what to do.... I'm wondering if I should talk to my doctor and see about changing my antidepressant. I have no energy, motivation comes and goes, but in general its not there. I'll have a really good day or two every now and then but then I'm back to this crap.

newtus · Mar 10, 2019 at 03:44 PM

Im exhausted. Ive been cleaning since i woke up. Thats only 3-4 hours but yea. I drank more coffee and it made my stomach hurt. I cant drink but one cup a day, physically. But i needed the extra cup, mentally.

Resting now.

Seems like when i dont work i usually find something to do. Like clean or care for the pets. Its always something.

Im glad i been staying busy for the most part since i been here. What a life!

Blue_Bird · Mar 10, 2019 at 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

My boss gave me an ultimatum, either come into work on time of start to work part time, either way he had a business to run and needed order to plan out his schedule.

I had to accept my hypomania and begin to fix my hypomania by way of benzos and upping my anti psychotics. This sleeplessness didn't occur until I stopped taking my mood stabilizer, but the mood stabilizer gave me urinary retention and I had to get off it and rely solely on AP's and Bezos. Whie trying to fidx all of this I had to sleep every other day. It was one of the most miserable times of my life trying to fix my sleep issue, but I only started to fix it when I had to accept I had hypomania.

FOr a short term fix, benzos and Benadryl worked, but anti psychotics and mood stabilizers are the long term fix.

Maybe I need to meditate?

Is it worth being on the moodstabilizer I'm on if I don't feel euphoria anymore? That was my happiness, it made me feel like I had a gift, it would come in rushes and I miss it so much. It made me feel amazing and connected to God and wanting to learn about everything. Maybe this is normal and it just feels really bad to me, I'm used to feeling electrically happy, so intense, physically better than getting high on drugs. It's gone though

Blue_Bird · Mar 10, 2019 at 03:48 PM

I used to be so inspired that I had so many things I wanted to learn and do, I hated when the day came to an end and liked staying up because I could do even more, I felt like I would run out of time if I slept.

Desoxyn · Mar 10, 2019 at 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Maybe I need to meditate?

Is it worth being on the moodstabilizer I'm on if I don't feel euphoria anymore? That was my happiness, it made me feel like I had a gift, it would come in rushes and I miss it so much. It made me feel amazing and connected to God and wanting to learn about everything. Maybe this is normal and it just feels really bad to me, I'm used to feeling electrically happy, so intense, physically better than getting high on drugs. It's gone though

It would make sense to lower the mood stabilizer and have a good antidepressant so you feel more hypomania, not able to get full mania and decrease depression.

Desoxyn · Mar 10, 2019 at 04:09 PM

My heart was 95bpm then I drank coffee and it decreased to 75bpm and I feel sleepy

Obviously someone put benzos in my coffee

I'm gonna make another coffee

newtus · Mar 10, 2019 at 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I used to be so inspired that I had so many things I wanted to learn and do, I hated when the day came to an end and liked staying up because I could do even more, I felt like I would run out of time if I slept.

Same

Ii hate sleeping now but once im asleep i stay so tired.

ofthevalley · Mar 10, 2019 at 04:21 PM

Long day but everything is set.
We may have to drive out tomorrow and formally ID the body for the ME again. They won’t know for sure until the morning. Apparently Friday’s and Saturday’s are not good days to die if you need the ME.
Family is watching Final Destination 2. Yuck! I don’t like movies like this. They give me anxiety. Impending doom.

Mar 10, 2019 at 05:38 PM

I finished my book today. I'm officially done. Now I just need cover art... which I have no clue how to do. Philosophy books typically have the worst cover art, no lying just fact. But im good with Microsoft Paint so I should be able to do something, I just don't know where to start. Maybe storm clouds with a fancy type will do, I can do that if I catch a stormy night... I wish I could just google images an use those freely.

Sometimes psychotic · Mar 10, 2019 at 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

I finished my book today. I'm officially done. Now I just need cover art... which I have no clue how to do. Philosophy books typically have the worst cover art, no lying just fact. But im good with Microsoft Paint so I should be able to do something, I just don't know where to start. Maybe storm clouds with a fancy type will do, I can do that if I catch a stormy night... I wish I could just google images an use those freely.

If you’re self publishing a lot of sites have cover design built in. You can also pay a small fee for better covers independently

Blue_Bird · Mar 10, 2019 at 06:25 PM

Took benadryl then took a shower

newtus · Mar 10, 2019 at 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

I finished my book today. I'm officially done. Now I just need cover art... which I have no clue how to do. Philosophy books typically have the worst cover art, no lying just fact. But im good with Microsoft Paint so I should be able to do something, I just don't know where to start. Maybe storm clouds with a fancy type will do, I can do that if I catch a stormy night... I wish I could just google images an use those freely.

I want a copy!!!

Sometimes psychotic · Mar 10, 2019 at 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

I finished my book today. I'm officially done. Now I just need cover art... which I have no clue how to do. Philosophy books typically have the worst cover art, no lying just fact. But im good with Microsoft Paint so I should be able to do something, I just don't know where to start. Maybe storm clouds with a fancy type will do, I can do that if I catch a stormy night... I wish I could just google images an use those freely.

Try canva and there are free stock photos Sea Sky Clouds - Free photo on Pixabay

Angelique67 · Mar 10, 2019 at 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

What am I doing wrong, I have to be doing something wrong. My mental health has been falling apart slowly the past 6 months. What do I have to do to fix it? I know I must not be doing enough,

Are you still taking a break from psych meds? That could contribute some.

Blue_Bird · Mar 10, 2019 at 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

Are you still taking a break from psych meds? That could contribute some.

No, I've never taken a break from them. I went off Invega a year ago because of developing tardive diskinesia, which went away after I was off it for awhile but I've been on all my other meds still. Mood stabilizer, andtidepressants, seroquel at night for sleep etc. I was crying because I was trying to heat something up in the microwave and was confused and irritated that I couldn't figure it out for a couple minutes like I forgot how to use it, I don't know what's going on

Angelique67 · Mar 10, 2019 at 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Maybe I need to meditate?

Is it worth being on the moodstabilizer I'm on if I don't feel euphoria anymore? That was my happiness, it made me feel like I had a gift, it would come in rushes and I miss it so much. It made me feel amazing and connected to God and wanting to learn about everything. Maybe this is normal and it just feels really bad to me, I'm used to feeling electrically happy, so intense, physically better than getting high on drugs. It's gone though

Blue_Bird, I also felt happiness in my life before psych meds. In my case what provided it was my daily physical exercise. And my beloved cat.

I still get happy at times, usually when I'm talking to/being with my friend. Otherwise I can get pretty down. I could try walking around the halls here I guess.

When my emotions are intense it's actually difficult because my sadness is so deep. So I rely on Prozac to dull it all.

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Roll Call 144

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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,988 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Mar 10, 2019 at 01:47 PM #522 Hello. Swallowed a vyvanse at 9am so I didn't sleep in. Finished my pack of cigarettes. I want to buy more to feed the schiz but I won't. Going to make coffee and study..

Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,988 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Mar 10, 2019 at 04:09 PM #530 My heart was 95bpm then I drank coffee and it decreased to 75bpm and I feel sleepy Obviously someone put benzos in my coffee I'm gonna make another coffee

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,745 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Mar 10, 2019 at 06:25 PM #535 Took benadryl then took a shower __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi