Roll Call 150

newtus · Jul 12, 2019 at 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

My friend is off the wagon again. I think he's hitting rock bottom, if this isn't rock bottom then I don't know what is. I talked to his wife for an hour and it's devastating.

I'm sitting here with my cat. She's not eating as much as she use to. She's barely touching even the wet food. Maybe she doesn't want to live anymore

I am so sorry. Prayers for your cat DT.

newtus · Jul 12, 2019 at 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

O you're fine! Liking is just about the same as hugs, it's acknowledgement which is always good.

Okay, I've been strong for the past few months about not eating meat, tonight I failed and I'm having 2 chili dogs. I swear I wont eat meat again for anpther few months!

I'm still thinking about dating. I've lost some weight which might help. What do people use now for dating apps? **** tinder, I think swiping right and left is superficial. I've heard about bumble but is it any good? Is okcupid any good still? The thing I liked about okcupid is that I get to introduce myself on my terms which means writing an in depth profile.

I guess I'm just goin to marinate on it for awhile, I'm in no rush. I guess I say this because I'm wondering if I'm actualy ready or not. I think my anhedonia makes me question if I am or not. I do remember still feeling the butterflies when still anhedonic. (that should be a word!)

Yes bumble is pretty good. Plus bumble is not just dating. You can switch to making friends only in it. And also business relationships. All three I believe are separated in the app, you just have to activate one or the other at a time.

newtus · Jul 12, 2019 at 08:28 PM

I am so blessed and thankful for the relationship I have now. I really really am. That's why I HAD to snatch fiance up. I had to.

I recognized something very very special in him that makes me overlook any flaws he has.

He said he fell in love with me when he was talking to me about his relationship with his dad and wanted to cry (when he came over once to my dads) and I grabbed his hand and told him that itll be okay. He said he noticed how caring I was. (He says sometimes now that I'm too caring or overcaring lol).

Initially fiance and I dated 1 day and then I broke up with him. I wasnt sure if I liked him. I didnt think he was funny, or that cute, but I knew he was very sweet and nice. And then during our breakup I wanted to stay friends. He said sure. He cut his mohawk off during that friendship time (which he never wore up. It looked like a rat tail which is why I didnt find him cute at the time). He must've still liked me because he cut his hair for me because I said one time I didnt like it.

Lo and behold my view of him changed, visual wise. He looked so cute with his new haircut. I fell head over heels that day he came to my house and showed me his haircut. I immediately snatched him up again. And his humor grew on me fast eventually. Reason I stuck around him and eventually re-snatched him up was because he was so darn kind and sweet, and respectful towards me. And at the beginning he went all out to please me. Buying me things here and there. Like bringing me coffee from starbucks when he came over, or taco bell. And he would bring me little presents from time to time. He would hold me all day and we would talk about life. I knew there was something special about him.

And the rest is history. It's been almost 2 years and we are very happy. I have no doubt itll stay that way.

newtus · Jul 12, 2019 at 08:32 PM

Sorry I havent been on much past few days.

Like I mentioned, fiances dad went into cardiac arrest yesterday. He seems to be doing fine now but will be going to have surgery to patch up his defibrillator. After he gets transferred to a heart hospital in Dallas.

I havent been sleeping at night and been sleeping all day. And it's really really messed me up, between everything. I've gone through a small depression and having lots of anxiety past few days.

But today, especially with his dad seemingly being ok, I perked up a bit.

More people have bought my book, and that's makes me feel good.

And then I got a call today to come in for a second interview for the peer support position at the mental health clinic here.

newtus · Jul 12, 2019 at 08:35 PM

I've also been hearing voices.

I been spending hours upon hours in the middle of the night past few days explaining my life to these voices.

falcon09 · Jul 12, 2019 at 08:38 PM

Just watched a black mirror episode that really effing triggered me

Possible trigger:

It was about technology that's like, just under your skin and it can read your memories and I've had very similar delusions. It just struck a nerve

newtus · Jul 12, 2019 at 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by falcon09

Just watched a black mirror episode that really effing triggered me

Possible trigger:

It was about technology that's like, just under your skin and it can read your memories and I've had very similar delusions. It just struck a nerve

I had to quit watching that like a year ago.

falcon09 · Jul 12, 2019 at 09:07 PM

feeling better now, I took a PRN haldol

Blue_Bird · Jul 13, 2019 at 12:38 AM

Got about 3 hour of sleep. There were extremely loud fireworks going on non stop for like an hour around 10pm and it was aggravating and scaring my cats, I have no idea why there were going on

Desoxyn · Jul 13, 2019 at 03:16 AM

I get these weird messages of music and information being God talking to me and controlling me and trying to kill me and loved ones.

Is it normal to be completely fine yet have this type of **** happen? Idk..

Lately I've been different.

falcon09 · Jul 13, 2019 at 06:01 AM

threads are messing up for me on desktop, I can't see any posts, anyone else have this problem?

ofthevalley · Jul 13, 2019 at 06:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by falcon09

threads are messing up for me on desktop, I can't see any posts, anyone else have this problem?

No but I’m on Tapatalk.
I am having trouble though on TaT. If I “thank” more than 2 posts it freezes completely and I have to restart TaT.

Blue_Bird · Jul 13, 2019 at 06:54 AM

Got back to sleep thankfully

newtus · Jul 13, 2019 at 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by falcon09

threads are messing up for me on desktop, I can't see any posts, anyone else have this problem?

I'm not having trouble right now. I'm on tapatalk.

newtus · Jul 13, 2019 at 07:12 AM

Morning

Have a headache but I managed to sleep all night.

Jul 13, 2019 at 08:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by falcon09

threads are messing up for me on desktop, I can't see any posts, anyone else have this problem?

I had that problem, then I went out to get an ice cappicino and it's working again.

Blue_Bird · Jul 13, 2019 at 08:08 AM

Took my morning meds an hour ago then just tried to do some sit-ups, too dizzy, room was spinning

Blue_Bird · Jul 13, 2019 at 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by falcon09

threads are messing up for me on desktop, I can't see any posts, anyone else have this problem?

It's working on my laptop

junkDNA · Jul 13, 2019 at 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I have silent GERD from all the years of the ED so I don't know if that has something to do with it or not

I have severe gerd from bulimia

junkDNA · Jul 13, 2019 at 08:23 AM

Erti I dont have anything against you , I like that you are here, we went thru similar things with CSA, so I hope you stay .

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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Jul 12, 2019 at 08:35 PM #725 I've also been hearing voices. I been spending hours upon hours in the middle of the night past few days explaining my life to these voices. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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falcon09 Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2015 Location: United States Posts: 3,018 9 1,867 hugs given	Jul 12, 2019 at 08:38 PM #726 Just watched a black mirror episode that really effing triggered me Possible trigger: It was about technology that's like, just under your skin and it can read your memories and I've had very similar delusions. It just struck a nerve
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falcon09 Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2015 Location: United States Posts: 3,018 9 1,867 hugs given	Jul 12, 2019 at 09:07 PM #728 feeling better now, I took a PRN haldol
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,992 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,914 hugs given	Jul 13, 2019 at 03:16 AM #730 I get these weird messages of music and information being God talking to me and controlling me and trying to kill me and loved ones. Is it normal to be completely fine yet have this type of **** happen? Idk.. Lately I've been different.
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falcon09 Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2015 Location: United States Posts: 3,018 9 1,867 hugs given	Jul 13, 2019 at 06:01 AM #731 threads are messing up for me on desktop, I can't see any posts, anyone else have this problem?
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,754 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Jul 13, 2019 at 06:54 AM #733 Got back to sleep thankfully __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Jul 13, 2019 at 07:12 AM #735 Morning Have a headache but I managed to sleep all night. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,754 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Jul 13, 2019 at 08:08 AM #737 Took my morning meds an hour ago then just tried to do some sit-ups, too dizzy, room was spinning __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,301 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,149 hugs given	Jul 13, 2019 at 08:23 AM #740 Erti I dont have anything against you , I like that you are here, we went thru similar things with CSA, so I hope you stay . __________________
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