Roll Call 160!

160 thousand posts. My heart beats 160bpm because I love everything and I solved a puzzle for IQ of 160. It's 160 more miles worth of driving in my car when the sun goes down to think about how to solve my mental illness, Age sweet 160tee is when I die in the year 2156 when I will be uploaded to a computer after anti-aging, when I become a billionaire of 160 billion dollars.

Too much unnecessary cheese? There's never enough!

The world ends in 160 years or less tbh though. Maybe like a couple years before armageddon (According to my friend with schizophrenia in the psych ward).

Thanks

Thanks for the new roll call @Desoxyn!

I'm getting a headache today. I fear it might be a migraine. I had a really bad migraine on Sunday. I feel sad today. And I feel self-destructive. Pastor T says that isn't a feeling, that is is anxiety instead. No, I don't think so. Meeting with Pastor T went okay last night. I told him how I was feeling nothing. He was like, you mean numb, I was like, no nothing. I had felt so many intense emotions over the past five days that I was drained. There was no emotions in me. He seemed like he was afraid of pushing me over the edge. He kept asking me if I wanted to stop. We kept it kind of light. He wants me to reach out more, like IRL. Like in person, or on the phone. He thinks I am too isolated. He says isolation is not my friend. My head hurts so I want to hit it. I didn't want to get up today. I didn't want to go to work today. But I did. Found out the owner's Mom has cancer. I feel sad about that. My Dad had cancer, luckily he beat it, but still. Scary and hard to go through. I wish I could escape me for a while. HUGS all, Kit

Hugs Kit......

Kit, you frequently mention doing stuff or getting together with friends, if I'm not mistaken. So I don't know if I could agree that you isolate. In my case it's true, but not in yours.

Thanks tweaks!

Thanks for the hugs @Sometimes psychotic and thanks @Angelique67 for your reply. I do get together with friends at least once per week (sometimes twice) but I think what Pastor T meant was that I keep my problems to myself and I don't share them, and particularly I don't share them out loud. So instead of texting a friend that I'm not doing well, I'm supposed to call that friend and tell them that. Or go see them. I think I get what he means, but it's definitely not something I am super comfortable with at this point in my life at least. Did you get a new roomie? HUGS Kit

Back from T. We were working on how to not get back in my thoughts when I'm alone, and how to remember to take my meds, cuz I rarely forget them, but past month been forgetting them like many many times. Like 2x a week now or 1x a week. Its normally like 1 or 2x a month, if any. She said to place them somewhere I go every morning and to even wear a bracelet if I need to to remind me to take it. And some other things.

We have 2 more sessions. Shes approving me for 15 more through the workforce program. And then itll be like 70 dollars per session after that I guess.

Yes, I sure did. So far she's very nice, but unfortunately I was not friendly towards her when she first came to the home. Also, I think she quit smoking, not sure.

I guess I see what your t means. But you work full time, you're around people all the time. If it was me, I'd count that exposure double. And friends may or may not appreciate hearing of our problems. That's why you go to him!

My 5 by 5 I gotta paint. I picked it up today.

So they moved at least two people all because two roommates were fighting. They poached my best roomie because she can get along with anyone. The person who's here now came from some other room, it's confusing to see without drawing a graph with pencil and paper. I'm guessing one of the fighting roommates moved, but I don't know. The women in that room are divas, so maybe there's too much ego going on there. Maybe they both moved so no one could "win".

I wish I were at home instead of stuck here in my social failures. I'd be eating Klondike bars and Ben and Jerry's, and candy and chips. With chocolate almond milk.

My dental appointment went horribly. It wasn't anything they did, it was me. I was basically having a panic attack during the entire thing and they weren't even doing anything, all they did was take an X-ray yet I was shaking like a leaf the whole time, I was awkward and just ughh it was so embarrassing I feel like they were looking at me like I was a crazy freak and I was getting so paranoid they were talking about me I almost was going to say something and accuse them of laughing at me

Anyway, my tooth is infected and I need two root canals. They prescribed amoxicillin, ibuprofen and acetaminophen. I have to go back Thursday anyway to get fillings unrelated to this, I have to wait till my insurance approves (hopefully) the root canals.

So yay, I get to go back to the place just two days after that mortifying experience ... :/ I really hope next time is better, idk what was wrong with me, I have never been that bad in an appointment before even though they make me nervous in general

Oh, while I was in the building I stopped by the lab to get bloodwork for my pdoc... so that's a good thing

I guess I'll take a klonopin before my next appointment

I think dentists should just keep a dish of klonopin at the register like candy....

I just ordered a set of vintage moth cards so I can occasionally send one to my sister. According to my mom she has it fixed in her mind that she’ll die in the next two years....

That's a good idea, I'm sure she'll appreciate it

Despite how awful my appointment was I'm proud of myself for making it and going, because I tend to continually put off dental appointments, but I had a feeling it was an infection so knew I had to go in. I'm proud of myself for getting bloodwork for my pdoc too, that's something I've been putting off for awhile

Fck man. My cat isnt eating again.

Didn’t you just take her to the vet like last week?

Yea but that was for a check up, remember?

Just called my mom. I didnt even get to say hi. She picked up and said "let me call you back I've had a very busy day. Bye." And hung up. I called her cuz she helped me with my cat 2 years ago.

Laundry day tomorrow

Yeah I just meant shouldn’t they have caught it if there’s an issue?