Roll Call 160!

here’s a pic of it (I didn’t eat any just took a pic to post here )

Looks good!

Done. So done.

Ok so investing is going to be my main thing for now. But I also want to watch educational videos a lot..

I want to know things like what exactly internet waves are and a little coding and if time travel is possible and how it could be possible.. Cuz imagine connecting to future internet waves.. There's so many waves.. And psychedelics are key to subjective proof of infinite universes..

Many things are possible. And I want to know about experiences, to read books.. Not enough time it feels to know everything..

But with marijuana, I can focus on small details for longer.. It's helping a lot with ADHD...

I'm gonna go back to my physics course tomorrow maybe.. I have to make a time.. i want to learn.. I want to go to school and know everything... Yet there's so much information on the internet.. The only drawback is that I have to improvise my learning.. And I'm not very good at improvising (Due to autistic ADHD).. But I'm getting better at it..

Yknow that philosophical question of "If a tree falls down in a forest with no one to hear it, does it make a sound?".. I believe it does as long as it is discovered.. Someone to experience it (Yknow like how reality doesn't exist if there's no one to witness it?).. Cuz sound waves could be detected if they are distinguished by everything else that exists.. Which is the observer.. Telling another observer..

But what if someone anthropomorphizes a thing? Is that what everyone is doing to each other? Is it me?.. I can't think that of course.. I can't be God..

What deters me away from that thinking is discovering that we are ourselves, each other and as one.

The only thing saving me from solipsism now is that other people in my imagination are solipsistic which makes them God too to me.

That's a very profound discovery for solipsistic autism/schizophrenia - Now I can be at peace for continuing on the path..

Oh God. I don't know what to do but read.

I should never have done drugs or taken meds. I wish my environment didn't **** me up so much. There's way better outcomes than my outcome of right now.

But I can't get mad.. But being mad is ok.. I just need to heal.. I'm not healing..

That's the problem. I'm not healing. I was just escaping.

Feel like crap. Woke up with a really bad sore throat

Morning

So very tired.

I wish I had cookies or something, but I don’t need that.

Hearing stuff a bit. 2 men’s voices. I think it’s cuz I didn’t get enough sleep. Part of me feels depressed but part of me is still excited and open to opportunities for the future. But the excitement is more than the need to sleep every once and awhile.

I’m not super depressed. I would say more that I’m sad because I’m not having depression symptoms other than sadness. I’m eating and sleeping a decent amount. My excitement is all about receiving notifications and emails regarding my personal career. Every time I get a noti of an app I get excited.

I haven’t been getting much sleep at all. But rightfully so, with everything going on in my life that is good. A few bad things like with my parents recently. But everything is ok now I think with them. Fiancé said my eyes are dark under my eyes.

Good morning

I'll be spending the day with my family as per usual on Sundays. Looking forward to having a stalker-free day.

Sound waves will remain, but what of hearing it subjectively speaking, a qualitative experience that can't be described objectively, but only subjectively experienced?

For example, science can tell us everything about color but what we actually seen, the redness of red. That's what really cooked my noodle.

SP, Newtus, BB,
Is it just me or has wordpress ruined they're platform with how to edit posts? I click top tool bar, and highlight a quite to italicize and it disappears! Editing anything is like hide and seek now. Before it worked fluidly with MS Word, but now they have this funky block editing software that makes editing beyond clunky and choppy. I've been struggling with this ever since they introduced block paragraphing. Is it just me???

Once I'm completely moved in (have all my stuff here and don't have to keep running back and forth between apartments) I'm going to look into volunteering. I'll be completely settled in here by March, then I'll start doing that. Then I'm making payments every month towards my college to pay off what I owe them so I can start classes again in the spring of 2021

I haven't been posting much on there the past month but I have had problems occasionally with things disappearing

Ah, I'm just complaining as I always do. It took awhile, but I figured out the way how to italicize and quote. I guess I'm just used to Microsoft word, which can be difficult as well.

Changed plans to have my sister come over another day since I'm feeling sick. Didn't sleep well last night either. I'm really ready for the coming week to be over since there's so much I have to do. Today I'm just going to rest though

I'm a miserable wretch.

Not just you. I noticed the same. Although, I’m used to it by now. And now u can embed things like Ted talk videos, with the block style.

I really wanted to ask regular T for a hug yesterday but I didn't because 1) I didn't know how she would respond and 2) she was sick. Coughing and stuff. She thinks I am getting a little better. Honestly, I dont think so, but maybe I can't see it. Hard to say. Having lots of hallucinations these past few days. Bleh.

I hardly use words so not an issue for me....

I want soup but I feel too crappy to go out in the cold and get it

Well now that's weird. I italicized and quoted the poetry but now it looks faded and blends in with the background... Hmm...

Nice post, Lindsay. I liked your questions. Their tough but revealing

Oooo thanks so much. I noticed I’m getting more and more passive views on my blog because of this style of posting/writing.

Now I feel nauseous

I’m so sorry. Something u ate?