Roll Call 167 :)

newtus · Jun 07, 2020 at 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 12AM

Depressed and having restless legs. My tummy’s been hurting. Must be hormones from Endometriosis that caused me moody.

So sorry to hear, 12!!!

Desoxyn · Jun 07, 2020 at 05:23 PM

After the 8 hour sleep, I stayed awake for 3 hours and then slept for 14 hours.

I don't think I've ever dreamt that much from taking phenibut before bed. The injection kicked in.

Need a coffee to think and write more. I couldn't wake up without vyvanse.

I'll be back..

cogladaid · Jun 07, 2020 at 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Hey, guys. have not really posted here before. I have bp 1, but it is heavily psychosis-dominant at this stage in its history/evolution. Basically, I spent from last October until earlyish May of this year super psychotic really almost all the time. Lots of meds changed, etc. Finally, tried Trilafon, before just giving up and going with Clozaril--which I am happy to do--and it seems to be working. Dunno. So freaking bizarre to have such horrific psychosis for so long and then, out of nowhere, it is just, like--gone. I'm even suspicious of that! How weird am I? My weird brain. So bizarre.

Anyway, given that I mostly deal with psychotic issues these days, I think I will start checking in here every day, if noone minds. I am usually on the bipolar board, but most folks there do not have nearly the psychotic stuff I often do. Hope everyone is okay today!!!

Welcome! I have bipolar 2 and a separate psychotic disorder. All who have psychosis are welcome here

falcon09 · Jun 07, 2020 at 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Hey, guys. have not really posted here before. I have bp 1, but it is heavily psychosis-dominant at this stage in its history/evolution. Basically, I spent from last October until earlyish May of this year super psychotic really almost all the time. Lots of meds changed, etc. Finally, tried Trilafon, before just giving up and going with Clozaril--which I am happy to do--and it seems to be working. Dunno. So freaking bizarre to have such horrific psychosis for so long and then, out of nowhere, it is just, like--gone. I'm even suspicious of that! How weird am I? My weird brain. So bizarre.

Anyway, given that I mostly deal with psychotic issues these days, I think I will start checking in here every day, if noone minds. I am usually on the bipolar board, but most folks there do not have nearly the psychotic stuff I often do. Hope everyone is okay today!!!

Hey welcome, I post on the bipolar threads sometimes so you may recognize me but I'm mostly here. Feel free to check in we're a friendly bunch

Erti · Jun 07, 2020 at 06:43 PM

save me from myself...

Angelique67 · Jun 07, 2020 at 06:58 PM

I called my mom today, thank God. She sounded good. But she won't use her hearing aid. She says it's hard to place it right. So I was shouting into my headphones, lying on my back in bed, because it's hard to have an anxiety attack when you're lying in bed on your back. The 2 POS were listening to the whole thing. Then there was a hornet in my room and it disappeared after I ended the call. I hung up while my mom was starting another sentence by accident. I feel very guilty. She wants to see the rose bushes she bought at her apartment. The landlady said she'd plant them. Hopefully maybe they can take her to see them.

I have anxiety. A nurse or something told me she'd give me an Ativan for anxiety. I don't know what she meant. One? As opposed to none? The anxiety has gotten worse and worse today. I had it last night too and I forgot to ask for it when my night meds came. I'm really afraid to look for certain stuff in my drawers because the lock gets picked and things get taken. I'm afraid.

newtus · Jun 07, 2020 at 07:07 PM

Is SP ok? I haven’t heard from her since noon.

Angelique67 · Jun 07, 2020 at 07:13 PM

Yesssss! My multigemstone heart is still here! I can never wear it because anyone can get in my drawer and take it if they've seen it on me. I hope I never lose it. And I still have my blue suede purse. Those were the things I was too afraid to look for last night. I still have several other things to check like my driver's license and keys.

The CNA's keep not bringing me a snack and I get really hungry at night after I take the risperdal. It might only be one CNA. For some reason he keeps not bringing me one. I already didn't get one after lunch, and I've been hoping they'd just bring one tonight. I don't like it here. I want to go home.

Angelique67 · Jun 07, 2020 at 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Is SP ok? I haven’t heard from her since noon.

Yes, Blue_Bird hasn't been around for awhile either. I don't know where they are.

Angelique67 · Jun 07, 2020 at 07:17 PM

I have to brush my hair. I haven't in a few weeks and it's matted again and my scalp hurts on the back.

Blue_Bird · Jun 07, 2020 at 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

Yes, Blue_Bird hasn't been around for awhile either. I don't know where they are.

I'm here I just haven't had anything to say/post

Desoxyn · Jun 07, 2020 at 07:29 PM

I'm extremely content right now. Some things are bad - But I feel grateful to be alive. I'll try to be more optimistic. On a lower dose of Invega, I don't listen to my positive thoughts or my conscience - They all drowned out. I listen to the bad thoughts instead.

It's weird how aware I've become this year. I'm on the same page as everyone else. It wouldn't be like that if I didn't trip.

It's daylight... I'm gonna try and do some things to feel a sense of accomplishment.. Maybe read idk.. I've been organizing a lot of things.

I do feel scared - Like I'm surviving. I feel the love and feel bad for having such mental episodes over the past few months.

I feel a little zombified from the antipsychotics - Like I don't have the creativity and genius thoughts. It's just calmness - And people wouldn't understand.. Like I can't speak. I'm trapped in a lack of understanding about myself and the world so it gives me a bit of anxiety. I care too much about what other people think - Cuz I don't have it all figured out.

But one day at a time. I have time my dad says. I don't have to figure it all out at once.

I'm gonna plan to talk to my therapist and make a psychiatrist appointment. I'm afraid that my meds will be changed cuz some are controlled substances. I get comfort for managing my meds cuz my mom could easily be controlling my treatment - But I have good insight and not treatment resistant. My meds work really well.

I notice that I need the Invega after being psychotic. I just needed to know and have proof - It will work for now. Might take antipsychotics until age 25-30.

I'm scared about getting a job. People want me to work full time and I just want to work part time. I'm growing a lot by working on myself while not working. I have a good sense of where I am in society and want to really be independent but not a job that drains my soul for the rest of my life. The bad and good things keep me surviving. There's a problem to be solved but also experienced at the same time.

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 07, 2020 at 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Hey, guys. have not really posted here before. I have bp 1, but it is heavily psychosis-dominant at this stage in its history/evolution. Basically, I spent from last October until earlyish May of this year super psychotic really almost all the time. Lots of meds changed, etc. Finally, tried Trilafon, before just giving up and going with Clozaril--which I am happy to do--and it seems to be working. Dunno. So freaking bizarre to have such horrific psychosis for so long and then, out of nowhere, it is just, like--gone. I'm even suspicious of that! How weird am I? My weird brain. So bizarre.

Anyway, given that I mostly deal with psychotic issues these days, I think I will start checking in here every day, if noone minds. I am usually on the bipolar board, but most folks there do not have nearly the psychotic stuff I often do. Hope everyone is okay today!!!

You’re totally welcome here....I have bp 1 with Psychosis too.....

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 07, 2020 at 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

Yes, Blue_Bird hasn't been around for awhile either. I don't know where they are.

I’m ok was at a small family party.

Angelique67 · Jun 07, 2020 at 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I'm here I just haven't had anything to say/post

Oh, ok! I'm glad to see you!!

Angelique67 · Jun 07, 2020 at 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I’m ok was at a small family party.

Glad to see you!

Erti · Jun 07, 2020 at 08:23 PM

I'm crying by myself. I'm sitting here hiding and crying by myself. Kids are occupied with video games and animals and my roommates are busy elsewhere. I need a hug. I'm not worth their time.

newtus · Jun 07, 2020 at 08:38 PM

Pretty sure my bra is broken even tho it’s a sports bra. Probably stretched out. Lmao.

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 07, 2020 at 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

I'm crying by myself. I'm sitting here hiding and crying by myself. Kids are occupied with video games and animals and my roommates are busy elsewhere. I need a hug. I'm not worth their time.

Hugs erti.....

Desoxyn · Jun 07, 2020 at 10:16 PM

Has anyone ever heard of euphoric depression? Or had it?

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Roll Call 167 :)

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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,988 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Jun 07, 2020 at 05:23 PM #22 After the 8 hour sleep, I stayed awake for 3 hours and then slept for 14 hours. I don't think I've ever dreamt that much from taking phenibut before bed. The injection kicked in. Need a coffee to think and write more. I couldn't wake up without vyvanse. I'll be back..
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Erti Princess Tutu Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Nowhere Posts: 7,912 12 2,894 hugs given	Jun 07, 2020 at 06:43 PM #25 save me from myself...
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Jun 07, 2020 at 07:07 PM #27 Is SP ok? I haven’t heard from her since noon. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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Angelique67 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2014 Location: USA Posts: 22,115 (SuperPoster!) 9	Jun 07, 2020 at 07:17 PM #30 I have to brush my hair. I haven't in a few weeks and it's matted again and my scalp hurts on the back.
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Erti Princess Tutu Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Nowhere Posts: 7,912 12 2,894 hugs given	Jun 07, 2020 at 08:23 PM #37 I'm crying by myself. I'm sitting here hiding and crying by myself. Kids are occupied with video games and animals and my roommates are busy elsewhere. I need a hug. I'm not worth their time.
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Jun 07, 2020 at 08:38 PM #38 Pretty sure my bra is broken even tho it’s a sports bra. Probably stretched out. Lmao. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,988 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Jun 07, 2020 at 10:16 PM #40 Has anyone ever heard of euphoric depression? Or had it?
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