Roll Call 167 :)

Desoxyn · Jun 07, 2020 at 10:31 PM

Oh how things have changed

A moment ago I was on a plane, drinking hot chocolate. Then I landed in the Canary Islands.

I remember one exact moment.. I was like 11. I was in the back seat of the car.. We were driving to the grocery store. It was a hot day - Not a cloud in the sky. I remember san dunes and windmills, palm trees.. I had a thought - "You'll be older.. This won't last. It will go by like a flash. This will be like a dream".

And here I am. I want to go back to those places. I want to travel the world.

Another time when I was 16, I was swimming in a warm pool at night in Guatemala and above the grass on the left, there was fireflies... I never seen those before. On the right, there was the ocean. Behind me was a restaurant and hotel. In front of me was my grandmother sitting at the edge of the pool. She said "One day you'll look back on this moment and it will seem like a really nice dream".

Erti · Jun 07, 2020 at 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Has anyone ever heard of euphoric depression? Or had it?

euphoric depression? you mean bipolar d/o?

Desoxyn · Jun 07, 2020 at 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

euphoric depression? you mean bipolar d/o?

What does d/o stand for?

I had drug induced bipolar for 6 days. The mdma comedown was full blown euphoric depression and episodes of cyclothymic mania. I cried 40 times a day for 6 days so like 250 times I recon. When I listened to music, I would get the chills from head to toe.

People would consider it horrible. But idk what they're talking about.. For me personally, it was much better than anhedonia. Although I wouldn't like it to happen again.. Not now.

That's just my personal experience. Mostly since 16 until then, I had complete dysphoric depression all the time and agitated mania. Never felt euphoric.

I hope I don't get crap for this: I'm just trying to understand..

Desoxyn · Jun 07, 2020 at 11:20 PM

Hugs @ Erti tho

Was making toast but opened the computer to give a hug

cogladaid · Jun 07, 2020 at 11:27 PM

I’m watching this movie Touched With Fire and the characters being manic reminds me a bit about how I was when I was off my meds. Kind of triggering to be honest.

Desoxyn · Jun 07, 2020 at 11:38 PM

Possible trigger:

In the future (10-25 years), we'll have a mood app on our phone with options such as "Hypomania" which will send a wireless signal to our Neuro Link device, sending electrical impulses to the wires embedded through our skull to stimulate certain parts of the brain.

WastingAsparagus · Jun 07, 2020 at 11:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Possible trigger:

In the future (10-25 years), we'll have a mood app on our phone with options such as "Hypomania" which will send a wireless signal to our Neuro Link device, sending electrical impulses to the wires embedded through our skull to stimulate certain parts of the brain.

Sounds science-fiction-y...

Desoxyn · Jun 07, 2020 at 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

Sounds science-fiction-y...

There is already a treatment option for depression like ECT called "DBS" (Deep brain stimulation) where they place an electrode or two into the brain.

It proven to really help with depression.

I don't advise tho

WastingAsparagus · Jun 08, 2020 at 12:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

There is already a treatment option for depression like ECT called "DBS" (Deep brain stimulation) where they place an electrode or two into the brain.

It proven to really help with depression.

I don't advise tho

I've had ECT actually. Ha

Desoxyn · Jun 08, 2020 at 12:07 AM

I'm thinking about going to live with my brother for a bit idk

He's a very smart INTJ and is really updated with the world. Has basically no mental illness for some reason.

WastingAsparagus · Jun 08, 2020 at 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I'm thinking about going to live with my brother for a bit idk

He's a very smart INTJ and is really updated with the world. Has basically no mental illness for some reason.

I am an INFP, I just looked at my Myers-Briggs results, again.

It's kind of interesting.

I remember looking at those personality tests trying to figure out my ideal career. Right now I feel like only doing creative things, though. I mean like creative writing. I'd like to write a novel.

Desoxyn · Jun 08, 2020 at 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

I am an INFP, I just looked at my Myers-Briggs results, again.

It's kind of interesting.

I remember looking at those personality tests trying to figure out my ideal career. Right now I feel like only doing creative things, though. I mean like creative writing. I'd like to write a novel.

Yeah same (INFP). I looked for careers too.. I seem to like INTJ careers but they're for the mind not the heart.... So I'd maybe end up procrastinating or switching jobs and never be happy.. I'd like to combine the two..

Cuz I'm an enneagram type 5 (It's rare to be INFP and type 5 enneagram - Almost like an oxymoron).. So that explains why I can't DO THINGS..

But I'll figure it out... These things help with understand self a little bit..

WastingAsparagus · Jun 08, 2020 at 02:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Yeah same (INFP). I looked for careers too.. I seem to like INTJ careers but they're for the mind not the heart.... So I'd maybe end up procrastinating or switching jobs and never be happy.. I'd like to combine the two..

Cuz I'm an enneagram type 5 (It's rare to be INFP and type 5 enneagram - Almost like an oxymoron).. So that explains why I can't DO THINGS..

But I'll figure it out... These things help with understand self a little bit..

What is an enneagram? I am curious now...

newtus · Jun 08, 2020 at 08:16 AM

Morning

How is everyone?

SlumberKitty · Jun 08, 2020 at 11:53 AM

G'morning Newtus and everyone. I'm doing bad. Having lots of sui thoughts. Went back and forth this weekend about going to the hospital or not. I ended up not going. I looked at the hospital's website where I would like to go if I have to go but they still don't allow visitors because of COVID and that's one thing that is making me definitely not want to go. But on the other hand I gotta keep myself safe. Don't know what the right answer is. HUGS All, Kit

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 08, 2020 at 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

G'morning Newtus and everyone. I'm doing bad. Having lots of sui thoughts. Went back and forth this weekend about going to the hospital or not. I ended up not going. I looked at the hospital's website where I would like to go if I have to go but they still don't allow visitors because of COVID and that's one thing that is making me definitely not want to go. But on the other hand I gotta keep myself safe. Don't know what the right answer is. HUGS All, Kit

Hugs Kit, if you feel like you’re going to act please check yourself in.....

Job 30 26 · Jun 08, 2020 at 12:25 PM

Back at work, taking lunch. Wednesday is my birthday so im not working that day. Good way to break up the week. 🙂

Ill be the big 38. Almost old. Lol im gping to play some grand theft auto and fall out new vegas that day.

I atill haven't had any alcohol. But i have lost my unemployment weight. I think after i put together my romanticism book ill go on the dating scene again. Shpuldnt be hard to put together a book now.

SlumberKitty · Jun 08, 2020 at 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Hugs Kit, if you feel like you’re going to act please check yourself in.....

Thanks SP. I texted T to see if she has any time available between now and our scheduled appointment time on Saturday. I told her I've been sui 5 days and that I thought she should know. We'll see what she says. How are you doing?

Kit

Sometimes psychotic · Jun 08, 2020 at 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Thanks SP. I texted T to see if she has any time available between now and our scheduled appointment time on Saturday. I told her I've been sui 5 days and that I thought she should know. We'll see what she says. How are you doing?

Kit

I’m ok, just a little sunburned ....I’m glad you got in touch with your T.

Erti · Jun 08, 2020 at 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

What does d/o stand for?

I had drug induced bipolar for 6 days. The mdma comedown was full blown euphoric depression and episodes of cyclothymic mania. I cried 40 times a day for 6 days so like 250 times I recon. When I listened to music, I would get the chills from head to toe.

People would consider it horrible. But idk what they're talking about.. For me personally, it was much better than anhedonia. Although I wouldn't like it to happen again.. Not now.

That's just my personal experience. Mostly since 16 until then, I had complete dysphoric depression all the time and agitated mania. Never felt euphoric.

I hope I don't get crap for this: I'm just trying to understand..

d/o idk... Lol just me not realizing what I"m typing. Never heard of that it but it sounds like a mix episode

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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,988 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Jun 07, 2020 at 11:20 PM #44 Hugs @ Erti tho Was making toast but opened the computer to give a hug
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cogladaid Elder Member Since Jul 2015 Location: Nowhere Posts: 5,565 8	Jun 07, 2020 at 11:27 PM #45 I’m watching this movie Touched With Fire and the characters being manic reminds me a bit about how I was when I was off my meds. Kind of triggering to be honest.
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,988 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Jun 07, 2020 at 11:38 PM #46 Possible trigger: In the future (10-25 years), we'll have a mood app on our phone with options such as "Hypomania" which will send a wireless signal to our Neuro Link device, sending electrical impulses to the wires embedded through our skull to stimulate certain parts of the brain.
	Reply With Quote

Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,988 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Jun 08, 2020 at 12:07 AM #50 I'm thinking about going to live with my brother for a bit idk He's a very smart INTJ and is really updated with the world. Has basically no mental illness for some reason.
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Jun 08, 2020 at 08:16 AM #54 Morning How is everyone? __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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