Roll Call 170

Ciao! Chat here

I'm looking at all the different yarns available.. omg.. I see I'm gonna someday accumulate a huge collection, so many crocheting possibilities

I love to yeet stuff

Took an alprazolam cuz the coffee gave me high blood pressure. I don't want my heart valves to loosen cuz then I'll have to get open heart surgery =]

I think I have that same issue U do. The awareness of my heart. Sometimes I feel like I have to make it manually function which is obviously not true but it’s an anxiety thing. And I gotta check it a few times a day. Make sure it’s not skipping beats n stuff.

Thanks bluebird!

If my heart stops I will be pulled out of the matrix and I’m just not ready to do that and live in a bleak, dystopian world. The cord is attached directly to my heart and spinal cord. And when I get that headache from, in the back of my neck, it’s because in the matrix I am being pumped something into my body. Idk, maybe like new blood or maybe they are pumping out something like blood and that could be why I am being harvested blood, because I am one of a kind.

You ok????

Yea I was temporarily entertaining those thoughts that I fight every single day. I shouldn’t entertain them tho. Just texted my T and said I’m trying to fight those thoughts.

Yeah I think whenever I feel a "palpitation" (If that's what it really is - And not my chest muscles moving), I press certain parts of my chest in certain areas because I feel like I can control it by using the power of GOD and my MIND cuz of OCD or magical thinking..

I used to check my pulse 200-300 times a day but now I only check it 20-30 times a day. I put my finger in between my ribs or on my wrist and after a certain beat, I'm feel good enough to take my fingers off the pulse.... Sometimes it doesn't feel "just right" so I check it again (Even though I feel no palpitations - It's just how I feel about counting)..

If I live shorter, it's worth having the Vyvanse for quality of life.. I've learned not to take extra anymore though..

When I lie down, I feel my heart beating less and less until it goes "bloop".. And I think to myself "This is it.. This is how it ends"...

But I have to rest my mind often. Sometimes I feel a pressure and keep having to sit up and lie back down over and over again until I fall asleep from exhaustion - But that's only if I don't take my meds properly.

My childhood friend had open heart surgery. My mom is going to have to have it. My parents friend had a quadruple bypass. I don't think I have to worry about cholesterol though cuz I eat healthy.. It's just the rhythm... Beat beat beat.. That's all I want it to do..

Hm I put 2 fingers on my neck to check

I feel the same way - I thought I was leaking spinal fluid last night because I cracked my neck near my brain stem and then my neck started feeling cold/chilled (My aunt had spinal fluid leaking from her nose).

I think about each heart beat that it ends and stops during the pause in a new multiverse every time.

Some people inject



into their necks so I think we're pretty good

turns out the doc may have wrote the script wrong, he wrote it so I was re-titrating even tho I already got to 150mg.

I'll call the clinic tomorrow I guess

Sucks falcon.....

That’s so dangerous

Got some extremely funny videos of fiancé playing VR

These threads are going way too fast! There's no way to keep up.

I'm getting very tan very fast with this exterior. Really digging DARK on Netflix, and the book i bought. I have a pdoc appointment on the 14th, so I'm taking a half-day. Not sleeping well anymore.

Some ladies on bumble liked me, not really getting conversations going though. I can't believe how many women I dig on that site compared to other sites. I can't get anything to stick though.

My abdomen feels heavy

This is how it used to be a few years back all the time...I missed it.

Too much cookies?

Probably female stuff

Oh, sorry. Hope you feel better soon, newtus!!!!!!

Still nowhere close to sleeping, not even remotely. Took another Trilafon, but it does not cause drowsiness, so... Sleep meds don't work for me anymore. I have been on everything on the market adn I do mean that almost literally. Probably, oh, maybe 20 different things, I would guess. My brain is just not capanle of being sedated by drugs any longer.

So, could be up all night again. That does not portend well for the voices or visual hallucinations at all. But we shall see. We shall see...