Roll Call 172

falcon09 · Aug 04, 2020 at 06:34 PM

anxiety is better now

Desoxyn · Aug 04, 2020 at 06:37 PM

Hmm.. Ignore what I said. I'm feeling anxious now..

Will drink chamomile tea and take magnesium again

bpcyclist · Aug 04, 2020 at 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

My sister has been trying to get my niece potty trained. Niece is 3 years one month old. It's been a fight. Today niece went pee on the potty and clapped her hands and said yay! I think this is forward progress!

Awwwww...

bpcyclist · Aug 04, 2020 at 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

What's really going on is that I got fired by my psychiatrist and I fired my therapist. So I need to find two new providers now. Dang.

I am sorry, Asparagae. Why did he fire you? Why did you fire the T?

Hugs. And do not wait--get on this now.

bpcyclist · Aug 04, 2020 at 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Found out my doctor's appointment is going to be $75 tomorrow and I might not get paid tomorrow like I should. There is money in the company bank account but something to do with the bank changing their fraud stuff and the money hasn't been pulled out of the account yet and it is usually pulled out the day before. I'm a bit worried.

Hugs, Kit.

bpcyclist · Aug 04, 2020 at 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by falcon09

so anxious

Hugs, falcon!!

Job 30 26 · Aug 04, 2020 at 08:44 PM

Voted for a primary in my state.

So about the ketamine treatment... insurance doesn't seem to cover it. It costs 500 for each treatment! I might just do it once to see what it's like. Also, i need someone to drive me home.

There's a study where i could get it for free... or it might get teh placebo. That would suck. It's worth a try though but getting drives back home will be a pain. This is so inconvenient.

bpcyclist · Aug 04, 2020 at 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Was wondering why I’ve been having headaches, anxiety, lack of energy and random depression/crying the past few days then looked at calendar. PMS. So annoying.

Hugs, Blue!!

WastingAsparagus · Aug 04, 2020 at 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

I am sorry, Asparagae. Why did he fire you? Why did you fire the T?

Hugs. And do not wait--get on this now.

So, the pdoc fired me because I was changing my mind about whether to see her or not. I think it was a valid reason. I just think my parents have so much influence on me. It's ridiculous. They wanted me to see a different psychiatrist. It's like they have this influence over me and it just wreaks havoc on my life.

I fired the T because, guess, my parents wanted me to. And they thought that my relationship with the T was toxic. Unbelievable. Why did I listen to them? I feel like my parents are bullying me to some extent.

Erti · Aug 04, 2020 at 08:59 PM

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow when I got to get into a car when doing my blood work... I can't get past this feeling... we're all going to die.

bpcyclist · Aug 04, 2020 at 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

Oy. Thanks for being supportive. Yeah, I really do appreciate it. Yeah the reason I fired my T is because I literally cannot afford it anymore and she doesn't offer sliding scale or anything or accept insurance.

The pdoc fired me because I was wishy-washy about stuff. Figures. I know I'll find a new one but it's a pain.

And I do have some supports though my main supports such as my family right now are angry with me and don't understand what I'm going through. I'm gonna go to some support groups and I'm trying to find new people.

What is an example of wishy washiness? What specific thing happened? I have noticed in you a tendency to speak in quite vague terms often, without specific details. It makes it hard to know what is actually going on. Do you see this at all?

I cannot afford a T rt now either. Shame, but we do what we must do. I try to read stuff, do yoga, meditate, exercise. What I can.

Asparagae, I care deeply about you, I truly do. It has been my observation over the months listening to you that decision-making can sometimes be a challenging area for you. I relate to that. Do you have thoughts about what could be behind this difficulty? Is there fear about something?

For me, it is only the biggest decisions. My fear is that my life will be forever ruined if I make the wrong choice.

Hugs!!

bpcyclist · Aug 04, 2020 at 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

So, the pdoc fired me because I was changing my mind about whether to see her or not. I think it was a valid reason. I just think my parents have so much influence on me. It's ridiculous. They wanted me to see a different psychiatrist. It's like they have this influence over me and it just wreaks havoc on my life.

I fired the T because, guess, my parents wanted me to. And they thought that my relationship with the T was toxic. Unbelievable. Why did I listen to them? I feel like my parents are bullying me to some extent.

Why do you think the parents have this powrr? Move out?

WastingAsparagus · Aug 04, 2020 at 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

What is an example of wishy washiness? What specific thing happened? I have noticed in you a tendency to speak in quite vague terms often, without specific details. It makes it hard to know what is actually going on. Do you see this at all?

I cannot afford a T rt now either. Shame, but we do what we must do. I try to read stuff, do yoga, meditate, exercise. What I can.

Asparagae, I care deeply about you, I truly do. It has been my observation over the months listening to you that decision-making can sometimes be a challenging area for you. I relate to that. Do you have thoughts about what could be behind this difficulty? Is there fear about something?

For me, it is only the biggest decisions. My fear is that my life will be forever ruined if I make the wrong choice.

Hugs!!

Yeah, thanks. It's fear about being wrong. Fear of sounding like a fool. Fear of sounding like I don't know what I'm talking about. Fear that others think I'm crazy or cracked up in some way. Fear of what others think of me in general. Fear of ending up on the wrong path.

WastingAsparagus · Aug 04, 2020 at 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Why do you think the parents have this powrr? Move out?

Cause they have control over my money. So that translates to having control over my life I guess? Ugh. It shouldn't.

bpcyclist · Aug 04, 2020 at 09:06 PM

Depression awful. Pdoc not for 2 weeks. Gotta somehow make it.

Hey, Des, you ever try any of the AMPA drugs? Thinking of trying. My depression seems to be glutamate-related mostly.

WastingAsparagus · Aug 04, 2020 at 09:11 PM

I'm also still thinking about doing the intensive outpatient program. I think I need it. It would help me be less indecisive and less impulsive.

newtus · Aug 04, 2020 at 09:16 PM

Had this same experience with my parents

Moving out was the. Single. Best. Decision. I’ve. Ever. Made.

bpcyclist · Aug 04, 2020 at 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

Yeah, thanks. It's fear about being wrong. Fear of sounding like a fool. Fear of sounding like I don't know what I'm talking about. Fear that others think I'm crazy or cracked up in some way. Fear of what others think of me in general. Fear of ending up on the wrong path.

But when we fail to decisively choose, it often creates more problems than had we made the "wrong" choice in the first place. It is just the wrong way to handle things, I learned. If we make the wrong choice, we just deal with it. Nobody is perfect. Not making these decisions is going to cause you more harm the longer you do it. Trust me, took me a long time to learn this. You need to correct this.

The other thing is that most people care overwhelmingly about themselves, not us. People are selfish. The other thing is that I feel that other people's opinion of me is actually none of my business. It is theirs.

Hugs.

Desoxyn · Aug 04, 2020 at 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Depression awful. Pdoc not for 2 weeks. Gotta somehow make it.

Hey, Des, you ever try any of the AMPA drugs? Thinking of trying. My depression seems to be glutamate-related mostly.

I remember taking oxiracetam and it definitely improved my focus - But it was a tough time for me. I don't remember much - Even though it improves memory. I didn't take it for long.

Last year I tried aniracetam and it didn't do anything.

I don't know much about AMPA drugs. Ibotenic acid (In the Amanita muscaria mushroom) is what I haven't tried - It's supposed to be an agonist.

An antagonist (L-Theanine) didn't do anything for me.

Desoxyn · Aug 04, 2020 at 09:24 PM

Don't use colouracetam. It's not tested and people develop permanent tolerance - Which is a red flag for me.

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Roll Call 172

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falcon09 Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2015 Location: United States Posts: 3,018 9 1,867 hugs given	Aug 04, 2020 at 06:34 PM #781 anxiety is better now __________________
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,992 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,914 hugs given	Aug 04, 2020 at 06:37 PM #782 Hmm.. Ignore what I said. I'm feeling anxious now.. Will drink chamomile tea and take magnesium again
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Erti Princess Tutu Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Nowhere Posts: 7,912 12 2,894 hugs given	Aug 04, 2020 at 08:59 PM #790 I'm not looking forward to tomorrow when I got to get into a car when doing my blood work... I can't get past this feeling... we're all going to die.
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bpcyclist Legendary Member Since Sep 2019 Location: Portland Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!) 4 40.2k hugs given	Aug 04, 2020 at 09:06 PM #795 Depression awful. Pdoc not for 2 weeks. Gotta somehow make it. Hey, Des, you ever try any of the AMPA drugs? Thinking of trying. My depression seems to be glutamate-related mostly. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
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WastingAsparagus Student of Life Member Since Mar 2014 Location: South America Posts: 4,658 10 2,911 hugs given	Aug 04, 2020 at 09:11 PM #796 I'm also still thinking about doing the intensive outpatient program. I think I need it. It would help me be less indecisive and less impulsive. __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Aug 04, 2020 at 09:16 PM #797 Had this same experience with my parents Moving out was the. Single. Best. Decision. I’ve. Ever. Made. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,992 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,914 hugs given	Aug 04, 2020 at 09:24 PM #800 Don't use colouracetam. It's not tested and people develop permanent tolerance - Which is a red flag for me.
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