Roll Call 177

Desoxyn · Dec 19, 2020 at 03:45 PM

You deserve free painting supplies 12AM! You're too good ^-^

Blue_Bird · Dec 19, 2020 at 03:49 PM

I feel amazing today. Probably hypomanic, but damn I feel good and on top of the world right now.

Desoxyn · Dec 19, 2020 at 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I feel amazing today. Probably hypomanic, but damn I feel good and on top of the world right now.

You would be lucky to stay in that state for a long time without going into depression or mania.

I have spent many dollars on psychoactive molecules to feel like that!

Desoxyn · Dec 19, 2020 at 03:54 PM

My natural state: Psychotic depression

Blue_Bird · Dec 19, 2020 at 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

You would be lucky to stay in that state for a long time without going into depression or mania.

I have spent many dollars on psychoactive molecules to feel like that!

Yeah that usually happens but I'll just enjoy it while it lasts. Generally my meds will keep it from escalating into full blown mania anymore, though. I used to get fully manic more often but now I'm more likely to just experience a crash.

Desoxyn · Dec 19, 2020 at 05:42 PM

I'm gonna try and read today.

I feel accomplished when I do.

My sister is gonna move in with my brothers apartment to go to school. I said "She's leaving me behind". Not fair cuz I'm older and got sucked into a mental illness black hole. He said that he will buy a house eventually and I could but my sister was like "I don't want to live with my family" and said that she does want a house but would bring in stray cats instead of me >=/

So I suppose I'll be with my mom. Unless my dad buys a house in Canada - I think he already bought one. So I'll move to B.C eventually maybe.

Anyways, I took 30mg of Dexedrine this morning and 15mg in the afternoon - I think it's a good dose. I'll tell my psychiatrist about this.

Blue_Bird · Dec 19, 2020 at 06:10 PM

Having a really bad panic attack right now.

Blue_Bird · Dec 19, 2020 at 06:15 PM

Going to watch The Queens Gambit and try to relax

Sometimes psychotic · Dec 19, 2020 at 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 12AM

I failed to understand the first sentence? Was there any typo?

OMG extreme typos, long story short get water soluble oils otherwise you’ll be soaking your brushes in turpentine and ruining non natural brushes and waiting like a week for them to dry....

Blue_Bird · Dec 19, 2020 at 07:48 PM

Thank you Netflix, I was able to divert a bad panic attack

Blue_Bird · Dec 19, 2020 at 07:54 PM

Eating is helping too. I had too much caffeine in my system and not enough food.

Blue_Bird · Dec 19, 2020 at 08:40 PM

I have to stop with the caffeine. Seriously this time. I finished up the bag of regular caffeine coffee today and am not buying more. If I'm craving coffee I can have decaf. I can't moderate myself with regular coffee because I'm always chasing that caffeine high feeling and all it does is cause panic attacks because I can't stop. It's like panic attacks in a liquid form.

12AM · Dec 19, 2020 at 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

OMG extreme typos, long story short get water soluble oils otherwise you’ll be soaking your brushes in turpentine and ruining non natural brushes and waiting like a week for them to dry....

Oh I didn’t know there’s a water soluble oil. Good idea. Thanks. I’ll read more before I get anything. But yeah not many options here in my country.

12AM · Dec 19, 2020 at 11:21 PM

These parrots are so cute 🥺

greentires4me · Dec 20, 2020 at 07:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I'm gonna try and read today.

I feel accomplished when I do.

My sister is gonna move in with my brothers apartment to go to school. I said "She's leaving me behind". Not fair cuz I'm older and got sucked into a mental illness black hole. He said that he will buy a house eventually and I could but my sister was like "I don't want to live with my family" and said that she does want a house but would bring in stray cats instead of me >=/

So I suppose I'll be with my mom. Unless my dad buys a house in Canada - I think he already bought one. So I'll move to B.C eventually maybe.

Anyways, I took 30mg of Dexedrine this morning and 15mg in the afternoon - I think it's a good dose. I'll tell my psychiatrist about this.

But she's still living with family if she's living with your brother.

I cannot fathom living with my mom or uncle ever again. They drove me bonkers. My moms narcissistic hoarder and my uncle is undiagnosed ocd and asperges.

I wanna go back to alberta but i already have disability status here in BC. I dont think i'd be ever to be working ever again. The osteoarthritis in spine prevents me from leading a normal life these days.

F me its 4am and i havent slept yet. And i have ct scan at 2:45pm today.

newtus · Dec 20, 2020 at 09:41 AM

Possible trigger:

Not feeling well today with my mental health. Yesterday I was pretty paranoid and thinking people could read my thoughts and everyone was in on it. Idk what “it” was. This morning I was doing fine and just had a fleeting sui thought.

newtus · Dec 20, 2020 at 10:45 AM

Messed up my profile info trying to edit from Tapatalk. It won’t let me change my diagnosis. Oh well. I clicked edit profile and it erased everything, so I put it how it was before and it won’t let me.

Blue_Bird · Dec 20, 2020 at 01:45 PM

My sister is coming over in a little while to have coffee. We're having decaf since we're both trying to avoid caffeine due to our panic attacks

Blue_Bird · Dec 20, 2020 at 01:51 PM

I downloaded the Woebot app

Blue_Bird · Dec 20, 2020 at 02:44 PM

My sister is gonna let me borrow her bread maker so I can make some homemade bread. She has the ingredients I need that I don't have and a cookbook that goes with it so she's gonna bring all that with her today and I'll try making some bread this week.

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Roll Call 177

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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,023 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,928 hugs given	Dec 19, 2020 at 03:45 PM #761 You deserve free painting supplies 12AM! You're too good ^-^
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,921 (SuperPoster!) 11 14.4k hugs given	Dec 19, 2020 at 03:49 PM #762 I feel amazing today. Probably hypomanic, but damn I feel good and on top of the world right now. __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,023 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,928 hugs given	Dec 19, 2020 at 03:54 PM #764 My natural state: Psychotic depression
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,921 (SuperPoster!) 11 14.4k hugs given	Dec 19, 2020 at 06:10 PM #767 Having a really bad panic attack right now. __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,921 (SuperPoster!) 11 14.4k hugs given	Dec 19, 2020 at 06:15 PM #768 Going to watch The Queens Gambit and try to relax __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,921 (SuperPoster!) 11 14.4k hugs given	Dec 19, 2020 at 07:48 PM #770 Thank you Netflix, I was able to divert a bad panic attack __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,921 (SuperPoster!) 11 14.4k hugs given	Dec 19, 2020 at 07:54 PM #771 Eating is helping too. I had too much caffeine in my system and not enough food. __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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12AM Seeker of Life Member Since Oct 2015 Location: Silver Town of Argyra Posts: 4,786 8 5,508 hugs given	Dec 19, 2020 at 11:21 PM #774 These parrots are so cute 🥺 __________________ One day I’ll leave my 6 flowers and millions of butterflies 🌹🦋
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,921 (SuperPoster!) 11 14.4k hugs given	Dec 20, 2020 at 01:45 PM #778 My sister is coming over in a little while to have coffee. We're having decaf since we're both trying to avoid caffeine due to our panic attacks __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,921 (SuperPoster!) 11 14.4k hugs given	Dec 20, 2020 at 01:51 PM #779 I downloaded the Woebot app __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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