Roll Call 184

Good day all! Last thread went over 1,000!

Chat away.

Getting new psychiatrist on Monday I'm pretty sure. As long as they can fit me in. Pdocs are super busy these days I take it. Understandable, but still frustrating when they can't fit you in...

So I fell asleep finally after 2am and woke up at 7am. Five hours isn’t that great though for me. Especially seeing as it’s Saturday and I could afford to sleep in.

I am adjusting to a higher dose of Latuda so that could be it. I just hope it settles down soon.

I was getting anxious before so I switched to green tea from coffee and it’s helping my anxiety but not much else.

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Sleep is one of those things I cannot do without. I always just feel horrendous the next day if I sleep poorly. I can certainly tell when I am lacking it. What helps me is meditation. It might not sound like it would help, but it helps me. I don't know if that's something you've tried?

I’ve tried before and it was so awkward and didn’t work for me. Sometimes listening to the sound of waves helps me though.

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Also there's some book Arianna Huffington wrote about sleep. It might be an autobiography or something - I haven't read it - but I think it talks about sleep. If you're interested, check out articles and/or books on sleep.

Hey WP, I like your quote, it's from my bible, Goethe's Faust. I believe it's in the theater section near the beginning. If you ever want to talk about it, l'm here. =)

Yeah, I like it too. Sometimes I feel like it contrasts with the content of my posts.

I’m really just not having a good day.

I swear it’s always something

And I always continually feel like a burden to everyyyyone around me. That’s why I just wanna isolate from people. I really do. I always gotta hear it from my parents or my friends never have time for me due to their personal lives, fiancé is like a loner, and I’m just done.

Not only can I never do anything right... idk it’s always something. Always someone getting mad at me for how I’m living my life. I don’t understand what I’m doing so wrong other than maybe financial issues.

Like my moms always on my butt about my weight and health and my dad comes over and he’s like “you need to clean more and clean better. Men don’t like a dirty house”. And so much more of the comments from my mom about my weight, health, my money situation, my religious beliefs even tho they are the same as hers basically, like a shyt ton of stuff. And then my dad, I love him to death, but I gotta hear about how “men don’t like when women...” this and that and this and that. I feel so fckn inadequate as a woman and a person. But I know he’s had relationship troubles his whole life and he doesn’t want me to get hurt by a man/person/anyone. Idk.

Fiancé is always stressed out and doesn’t talk much.

My friends are stressed to hell right now. SP and Door.

I can’t see my therapist cuz I’m starting this job and she has no openings for me right now for a long while.

Like I’m so fckn sad and torn, mentally.

Like please someone help rescue me from life. Fckkk.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

I’m stressed out too right now. I try my best to balance between doing what I need to do and self care. What I do is to take a few breaks each day. Set an alarm for 1-2 hours and until the alarm rings I forbid myself to think about heavy stuff and do a self care instead. My self care list:

Exercise is too much for me at the moment so I just take a short walk around the neighborhood.
Paint something simple that doesn’t require me to sit for hours trying to get it right.
Massaging myself with a massage oil. Then take a shower and wash my hair. Put on lotion and wear a comfortable clothes after that.
Play a simple game on my phone.
Watch funny animal videos or fun music concerts.
Play with my cats.
Order my favorite food (I just bought a cake today)
Decorate my room with flowers and aromatherapy is on almost all the time
And the last one I don’t recommend because it’s just me being weird, but I like doing chores. The smell of soap when doing dishes. Seeing my clothes are folded or hung up nicely in my closet. The feel of squeaky clean floor on my soles after I sweep and mop it. Etc. When I feel like I don’t have any control about things that happen in my life, I control my surroundings by doing all these chores. It gives me a sense of relief because there are at least things that I can control.

I don’t know if this will help you but stay strong, we got this

Thank you so much !!!

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

That’s an excellent idea I’ve never set a timer for self care or even thought about setting one but it’s just as Important so why not?

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I’ve been setting up alarms for two days now, it makes me feel more free to enjoy my self care time because I don’t have to remember that I need to do my business later, alarm will tell me.

I was at a greenhouse yesterday and I heard this demonic voice say ‘EVERYBODY HATES YOU’ so that freaked me out. That along with seeing the shadow figure earlier.

Good thing I got some sleep.

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I'm so sorry you are experiencing these things. I have voices, but no shadow figures. That would freak me out, omg!!

Yeah I hardly get hallucinations at all. Delusions are more my thing. So when I get hallucinations they freak me out.

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I’m not using the treadmill today. I just don’t feel like it. I’ll do it when I’m better rested and in a better state of mind.

I’m essentially going to read until tonight then attempt to get some damn sleep. I’m tired but wired feeling

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I almost miss Thorazine at this point

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I was watching this show yesterday and one of the characters mom had cancer and she was dying. I started crying like crazy, like really full on sobbing, I couldn’t stop. My mom died from leukemia and it just reminded me of her, and I also feel guilty because I wasn’t at the hospital with her when she died. I was at our home. I was with her in the hospital the previous times she was on a ventilator and things like that, but the one time I really wish I was with her I wasn’t. I got a phone call and I thought it was her but it was the doctor calling to say she died

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I’m sorry to hear How does the loss of your mom affect you in your daily life?

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII