Roll Call 187

Heya everyone, things are going okay, I move into my new place on the 2nd. Rent is super low and its nice. Landlord wants me to do some work for him too so I hope this is a chance to prove myself. I'll be rolling out the red carpet treatment haha.

I'm planning a blog post for saturday and I really have deep read anything in months, hopefully i get the motivation to read a psychology book.

I took my short story from 33 pages to 60 pages. Yay! I need to work on the ending more, I want to do some language stuff to it, have the character draw upon ancient symbols somehow, but I haven't quite figured it out, possibily because I don't know much about linguistics really.

SP intersting that reading reduces stress that much. = )

I’m interested in linguistics and semantics!

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

How dare they decrease my dopamine

Why iam unable to put my thoughts into actions in life?

"This happens a lot, and to everyone.

It is because too much weightage is given to that thing that you are thinking about. When you do that, it seems hugely important, as if it’s a ‘ride or die’ thing, which results in a huge amount of self-imposed-pressure, and sucks the fun juicy part out of the deal.

This is why.

Don’t let that thinking take the power from you.

Here's a tip, start doing that thing for short intervals of time. Like ridiculously short; say start doing that thing for five minutes first, then ten minutes after a nice break and so on. And before you know it, you will have overcome the beginner’s fear.

Hope it helps."

"It’s like a superb business vision. Richly filled with potentials, ideas and creativity. And has the strong ability to influence other people. If fully invested in it, the INFP can make that powerful daydream into a tangible existence.

But reality slowly settles in, it becomes a huge tedious process as there are marketing, risk factors, profit, labor, resources, equity, investment, market shares, import/export, retailing, management, customer service and on and on and on.

By the time INFPs come to understanding with how it works, they either give up (because it becomes more laborious than enjoyment), place it on hold (possibly indefinitely until the spark returns) or already onto another business vision, imagining another great plan (tendency to have a huge variety of interest).

One important strategy is to set concrete goals, preferably develop a routine and have a monthly or weekly deadline. In addition, use reinforcement (give yourself ice cream) and punishment (no TV shows) to strengthen/weaken behaviors.

INFP often have grandiose life-changing visions, but lack the effort to persevere through due to the expectations needed to attain it."

"Yes, there is a relationship… kind of… I’ve spoken to quite a few INFPs who believe they have ADHD/ADD or have been officially diagnosed by a doctor and are medicated for it. (Whether this is necessary or not I won’t get into in this post.)

Many people who have dominant extroverted intuition (Ne) or auxiliary extroverted intuition In their cognitive stack can feel like, and come across to others as having ADD. Ne is a perceiving function that is by nature gathering information constantly— It doesn’t rest! Ne users are often entranced by this process — so much so that they can appear out of it, or disinterested (particularly in an academic setting). Teachers often think these students are daydreaming; however, are often surprised when the apparently inattentive student answers the teacher’s question perfectly because Ne can pay attention to many things at the same time. It’s a really cool super power. Unfortunately it’s difficult for Ne users to rein it in as it’s got a great deal of strength. I equate it to a beagle who is compelled to follow its nose wherever it may lead...

As the Ne users get older, they gain facility and balance with the other functions which makes being focused easier for them.

These are the 4 types that use Extroverted Intuition (Ne) in their dominant or auxiliary functions. I’ve listed the types that can often outwardly manifest ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) symptoms from most to least:
ENTP, ENFP, INTP, INFP."

Sorry for the spam..

I think dissociation is like a reaction of the brain to collect thoughts and images to escape from trauma.. Like daydreaming, having extra thoughts - And when you believe the escape to be real and can't journey back to this realm, - That's psychosis.

I listened to a podcast - I probably shouldn't have shared it with people that have schizophrenia but the reason I did is because they wouldn't be as affected by it as me. It's the craziest podcast I've listened to... About Ayahuasca, healing, shared hallucinations, higher dimensional realms, not having a physical body and spirituality.

I was explaining it to my mom and she got concerned. I was talking like how my dad talks. I think my dad has a form of borderline psychosis all of the time. I can't help it that I act certain ways when I'm excited but also terrified of out there information like this.. JunkDNA said that I shouldn't listen to Terence Mckenna etc too much because it mess me up - And it's true..

Y'know how everyones schizophrenia is different because we're all different people? Like we have different hallucinations would be an example.. - Psychosis has NOTHING to do with ANYTHING - Because trauma and peoples types of karma determines which realm you end up in. Genes seem to cause a similar reality though.. I watched a JBP podcast with Eric Weinstein and they were debating genetics, evolution, society/groups of people.. It was the most hard to grasp conversation I've heard as well (This was 2-3 weeks ago)..

It seems like everything that I learn, I get triggered by it. It makes me think that I'm not supposed to be in this reality. The podcast was talking about the 9 layers of reality (We're in the 3rd) and how - without a body, anything that you think of appears before your eyes.. I have this sometimes when I close my eyes before going to sleep. I like to see closed eye visual (CEV) hallucinations related to and after every thought that I think about and it's a form of mediation.

I'm gonna just dip myself into information like this only sometimes and listen to JunkDNA, stay ignorant of too much about the spirit world and enjoy what I have.. I don't think that writing this would trigger anyone because I don't believe that anyone would think about it as deeply as I do.

Going grocery shopping later

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It’s 66 degrees out this morning at 6:30am while the sun is rising. Omg so chilly! Fall vibes Forreal!

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

I kinda wanna a Pumpkin Spice Latte this morning!

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

I'm getting pumpkin spice coffee creamer and pumpkin spice donuts when I go grocery shopping today

On the bus, this is the first time I’ve been on the bus in like 2 months. Anxious a bit

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I couldn’t find pumpkin spice creamer so I just got hazelnut. And I also couldn’t find pumpkin spice donuts but I got a thing of apple cider cake donuts

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I didnt get PSL. I don’t have money and fiance said no cuz it’s not in our budget.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Having horrendous acid reflux. And coughing. I can’t wait till the 16th when I get to talk to my doctor to get back on meds. 1 more week

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Great, now I have hiccups and am coughing

IOP starts tonight. I'm nervous. This IS what I wanted but I am still nervous.

Something my T, Dr, K said is getting to me. He was talking about how I am good at using my resources to get help but my brain has twisted it around to mean that I am taking advantage of the services. I don't think that is what he meant but that is a bit how it came across. I pay good money for my health insurance, about 10% of my gross pay. Why shouldn't I use the resources available to me if it would help me?

I will probably take some anti anxiety medication later so I am good during class. I just hope everything works technology wise. I'm not the best when it comes to Zoom.

Maybe make a pro and con list of each option and that might help you decide.

Structured.....left to my own devices I have motivation issues that don’t occur under structure.

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I can't even think straight because of lack of sleep. I feel weird. Why is one night of not sleeping much messing with me so much

Maybe it's from stopping the perphenazine 3 days ago? I just have to get through the withdrawal effects