Roll Call 189

I hope @SlumberKitty is doing alright

I have to clean my apartment tomorrow. It’s kind of messy now. I also need to finish two of the books I’m reading so I can return the huge stack to the library so it’s not taking up room on my coffee table anymore.

I hope so too....

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I don't think they ordered my candy yet. Now I'm getting scared they won't order it at all. I'm really worried. I had two big orders, one of candy and one of clothes, and they haven't taken either one seriously. Meantime they're saying I have to spend money and I should buy an iPad. I hate it here.

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I don't want an iPad. I want what I asked you to order!

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I'm getting Chinese takeout on New Years Eve. Can't wait! Sweet and sour chicken, egg rolls, pork fried rice, crab Rangoon, and a soda

Sounds awesome!

Eh doing better today - I am feeling more optimistic.

Feel nauseous

I plan to learn more about history - Unless I'm sure that everyone's future is dead, then I have no time.

We might try to get Olive Garden tomorrow but I suspect they’re already booked up. Instead we’ll probably cook up a shrimp scampi with breadsticks and salad like a mock Olive Garden meal.

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I’m still recovering from moving and everything. I need to find a pace to do my day. I’m still all over the place now. I need to make a schedule of when to do chores, when to paint, when to do yoga, when to learn Japanese, and when to do a research about building an online store. I slept for 12 hours last night, was so exhausted. Holiday is busy so I’m going to get my pace in January.

Trying to pull myself out of dissociation/panic

Hi friends. Sorry to worry you. I only worked two days this week and that's when I usually get on here. I'm okay. A little suicidal but that's par for the course this time of year. Went to the Rams game with my Dad (was his Christmas present from me!) and it was really nice, fun time. But I haven't recovered from being tired. My ME/CFS is all fouled up. Work done make me mad today. Even though yesterday they make me happy. An hour and a half and then I can go home and be off work for 3 days. That's good. I need a break.

Woke up at 11:30am instead of noon - Mild improvement..

There was like another ft of snow that I had to shovel so I did that right away - The mountain will have a good amount of snow now for skiing =] My grandmother paid for the ticket as a Christmas present.

My dad should be here tonight from Mexico so I had to clean, vacuum the house etc.. The heat was turned up to 30C degrees + Before that, I walked to the post office to get the computer cover and carrying case that I bought - I'm very happy with it ^-

I needed to relax so I smoked a little weed and felt much better. I was over amped and anxious + was unfocused before the afternoon stim kicked in.

Still a little confused psychologically with my thought disorder... My sister and her bf will be here tomorrow. A good Christmas it shall be..

Was I stupid for not questioning the orders that were given to me every day by my moms ex - Or was I too scared to stand up for myself...

I was very vulnerable.. It's what the government is now doing to regular people with the pandemic. New variant, scare and then more authoritarianism and repeat.

I'm starting to see a pattern. But it's too late now.

I need my wooden back pressers. I need some benzos too so I really need the wooden thing.

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I feel so crappy. If only I had the Ativan here. It's my spine making me miserable.

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I'd ask them for "anything that can help with pain/or anxiety" and if they say no, what * they are... ((Hugs))

People don't get why I hate the drug war so much.

It will be a good Christmas =]

But I will not forget!.. that a horrific amount of people will have a bad one.

The mental health of most will be bad.

But I walked down town last night and it was cool to see all of the Christmas lights and snow. It's incredibly safe here. Everyone has to have a job to accompany the tourists.

I don’t feel good mentally. Feel uninspired, flat, and uninterested in things.

We just threw away two salads and are deciding on a veg for tomorrow ....possibly something In the potato family

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Are you depressed?

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I don’t think so, but I don’t know.

Idk Christmas isn’t really the same since my mom died 6 years ago. I loved spending the holiday season with her when we lived together. It was just really festive and fun. I don’t have that atmosphere anymore since it’s just me. It’s just not fun when you don’t have anyone to spend it with. It’s depressing.