Roll Call 191

I moved my computer etc into my moms room where the sun shines through the window - Feels much better.

My mood/motivation changes dramatically with my environment.

I have to get off of Klonopin...............................................

I'm worried my meds are poisoning , trying to ignore the thoughts...

I think when I see my doctor again in 2 months I'm going to ask if I can start coming off most of my meds and just get back onto the monthly injection and leave it at that, I don't want to deal with the choice of having to take so many meds everyday 3 times a day

That would mean getting off zoloft, wellbutrin, trileptal, naltrexone, thorazine, abilify tablets, and switching to just the abilify injection. That would take a long *** time to taper off all those meds

I wonder if it would be a bad idea or not. I mean if I did that then I wouldn't have to deal with taking 7 pills throughout the day (not including my omeprazole) and getting really bad acid reflux from them, and also not having to deal with my fear of taking them due to thoughts of them being poisoned, but I don't know how my mental health would be without those

On a positive note for me, I'm starting a band with a friend. Can't remember if I said that here or not.

I think I'm getting sick and that's why I've been sleeping a lot. I am starting to have a sore throat tonight

I do fine on just Abilify…it balances a lot of stuff for me…but your mileage may vary.

Oh you did not mention it, that’s awesome!

Hugs bluebird…..

I read back in my journals a bit and I have decided I won't go off of Klonopin. It just causes too much anxiety when I go down.

My mind hurts. I might have to just lie in bed until I fall asleep. I'm done with everything!!....

I have to work tomorrow and my coworkers bother me. I'm so exhausted by reality.

Idk what else to say other than I'm so exhausted that it's extremely mentally painful.

I listened to music and walked in the dark through the alleyway - Bright stars are out. That's good, good feeling. Not too cold either. All I needed was that.. some sort of sign.

It's tough to think about going off a bunch of meds at once. I hear you, it's tough to have to take them, too.

I've often thought of simplifying my medicine regimen.

I usually come back to the conclusion, however, that the meds I am taking now are prescribed for me for a reason, though. And I can discuss this with my pdoc, and he listens to me (I'm glad I have a pdoc that actually listens now). But it's ultimately a matter of how I feel. And I feel pretty good on the meds I'm on now. So I conclude, I should stay on these for now.

My pdoc also seems to explain things really well after I ask him some sort of question regarding what would happen if I went down on a certain medication or the reasons why I should continue taking stuff.

Have you asked your provider directly like why you're taking each medication? Or you could make a list yourself about why you need each med (or don't need for that matter)... Just ideas.

I have trouble with the side effects from one med, idk how you guys do so many.

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I feel like I’m crowd sourcing my symptoms….asked aunt and she recommended urine test strips for home use….ordered them and some watercolor pens to cheer me up.

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Thanks for the reply WA

I do feel good on the meds I’m on now, so it probably isn’t a good idea to change them. Maybe once I have a year or so of stability under my belt I can think about cutting a few out. I know I’ll never be off all of them. I’ll at least always be on APs and a mood stabilizer. But I think maybe I should just leave things alone for now I guess since I’ve been doing as good as I have been. My doctor is helpful and does listen. I’ve been seeing her for almost 7 years now so she does know me pretty well. Luckily I don’t have any bad side effects from any of them. Just some tiredness but that’s to be expected and is kind of a good thing because it means I actually sleep instead of staying up for days manic. I’ll give it a year then maybe if I’m still doing okay I’ll start slowly tapering off a few of them with my doctors guidance but leave the rest/most important ones alone. I just only recently found a combo that works so it’s probably a good idea to give my body a break from all the med changes I had been through for several months trying to get stable.

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I hope you feel better enjoy your new pens

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Left a message on the nurses line for a refill of my Thorazine since my doctor forgot to send it out. I have enough to get me through till they process the request and sent it to the pharmacy, I just wanted to make sure I don’t run out since I don’t see her again for 2 months.

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I get to order Stash that nice scratching post next month. She’s gonna love it. She’s so playful. Plus a couple new wand toys for her.

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I get horrible acid reflux from my my meds, like it's almost like throwing up but it's all clear stomach acid pouring out. I don't know what to do about it, it's very unpleasant to deal with and lasts up to an hour to an hour and a half after I take my meds