Roll Call 194

Having a horrific panic attack. Feel like I'm dying and feel like I'm tripping or something

They're all after me

I know I'm not getting any sleep tonight, it's already midnight. I have a bag of ice cubes I'm holding to try to take my mind off the fact that I feel like my brain is melting and feel like I can't breathe

Hugs BB.. Do you still have any benzos? Can you take one?

Thank you Desoxyn

Yeah I have Klonopin PRN, I took one about 30 or 40 minutes ago, so hopefully it helps

You probably don't even realize, but you're very strong for enduring these panic attacks. I hope that they happen less and less often like what happened for me!..

Thank you, I hope they happen less eventually too, I'm glad that happened for you Lately my anxiety has been extremely bad. I went through like a 3 or 4 month period at one point awhile back where I had no panic attacks at all. That's the longest I had ever gone without one since I started getting them at 19 years old. I'm 28 now. Now they've been happening again the past few months and it sucks. I think volunteering on Monday will be good for me, it might help me get away from my anxiety for a couple hours

Slept about 4 hours. Better than nothing

Feel a little better today so far. Made scrambled eggs and a piece of wheat toast for breakfast. Did all the dishes. There were a lot of them I didn't get to yesterday. They're all done now got some stuff prepped for lunch for later today. Trying to avoid sugar and caffeine, and eat more vegetables. Drink water mostly.

Brushed/flossed my teeth, fed the cats.

Going to take a shower in a little while because I haven't taken one in a few days

I'm just taking it easy today since I didn't get anywhere near enough sleep. Not pushing myself to workout, I'll do it tomorrow after a hopefully good night of sleep.

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I try to deal with the paranoia and anxiety on my own when it happens but it doesn't seem to help. Nothing I do really helps it aside from waiting it out because usually after a couple days of it I have a good few days up to a good week or so. So it doesn't last forever. But I'm really sick of it honestly. It sucks when it's happening, it feels horrible. I don't know how to prevent these episodes or whatever the hell they are from happening. I miss a med occasionally but I am 99.9% consistent with taking them. I rarely miss any doses of anything

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For me cbt helped with anxiety more than any med as well as living with someone….I don’t feel isolated and somehow that’s protective.

My financial aid was approved for my college

Have a sore throat

I drove and got Wendy’s on my own…sounds small but with my driving anxiety it’s a big step.

I saw my psychiatrist with my mom. I explained, about the Wellbutrin.. That I was sui and that Zoloft gave me heart palps - But after stopping those, I felt much better.

When we walked out, my mom was like "Yeah you're so much better than those times, years ago" - I'm telling people.. That I'm better in general (Even though I can be very messed up RN - It's NOTHING... nothing!!! Like in the past..)..

It was a good appointment. I lowered the Dexedrines to 2x 10mg spansules instead of 15mg ones.

I mentioned about the long term side effects of antipsychotics.. My mom told him that she's anxious about me ever stopping the antipsychotics - My psychiatrist said "Yeah it makes me anxious too - But sometimes patients need to realize that they need.."

He said; " - The movement disorders, if they haven't happened in the early stages, they are less likelier to happen in the future - But if you have snapping of muscles etc (or w/e idk), phone the emergency room right away"

He said "Based on assessing your psychiatric record, you definitely need to be on some sort of antipsychotic for the rest of your life". I guess....

To replace the phenibut (500mg a day), in ~1 week (After I get adjusted to the lower dose of Dexedrine), I'll start 75mg of pregabalin in the morning and maybe titrate to 150mg (The maximum that I said I would possibly take) - And if I become too tired, to take it at night..

I talked about my poor executive functioning.. And that I'd really benefit from therapy.. But it's no good where I currently live.. So w/e. I said that in the past few months, I've been much more focused, organizing, planning etc.. More enriched life...

He will see me in 2 months instead of 3 this time.. I said that I would go hiking this week, more exercise.. Instead of being on the computer so much...

Just did this coloring page

Awesome bluebird 😀

I’ve actually scrolled so much facebook it said I was all caught up and ran out of content 🤯

Are you still on the Invega?

In my state of lucidness... It helps with that sort of thing. The antipsychotics that you mentioned seem old school.

Scroll as much as you need.. No - but it is draining - And everything else seems draining too.

Rejuvenate the mind, a good vacation.. Self care etc.

I deleted FB though - I don't want to be in that guys metaverse - Well.. not now. I'll wait until I'm forced to be in it to pay for daily doses of Soylent food.