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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,005
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#381
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Breaking Dawn, SlumberKitty
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,005
(SuperPoster!)
7 4,919 hugs
given |
#382
I mean I know I have some delusions.. Idk if it's OCD, but they consume my mind (When I'm not on olanzepine). And I talk about "reality" a lot.. I'm not sure what to say to people with delusions anymore....
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Breaking Dawn, SlumberKitty
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,005
(SuperPoster!)
7 4,919 hugs
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#383
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Breaking Dawn, SlumberKitty
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Angelique67
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,005
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#384
I miss being in the prairies and isolation.
I still have no friends IRL so what's the point of being in a tourist destination. I have no where to go. I'm bothered by hypnic heart palpitation jerks and gaining weight from olanzepine. I'm so tired. What happened was so ****ed up. I can't believe it. I want the memories erased. I'm going to die soon... |
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Breaking Dawn, SlumberKitty, WastingAsparagus
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 22,122
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#385
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Breaking Dawn, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 22,122
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#386
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Breaking Dawn
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Location: USA
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#387
I haven't been to sleep yet. I shouldn't stay up this late. My friend told me he will have to give up my old apartment that he's been living in and instead live full time in NYC. I hate this idea. I don't want him to live in NYC. It's dangerous and expensive.
If I went back to the apartment, I wonder if I'd have vape breaks like here or just have a puff here and there randomly. The luxury of my own bathroom haunts me. No stupid morons crapping on the toilet seat, and leaving large turds on the floor. It would be so good I could cry with tears of joy. Sent from my Nokia XR20 using Tapatalk |
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Blue_Bird, Breaking Dawn, Desoxyn, SlumberKitty, WastingAsparagus
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 22,122
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#388
Of course, we've been on lockdown again the past two weeks so there's been no smoking. Tomorrow marks two weeks. Oops, I mean today. There might be a smoking break today.
It's because there was a COVID "outbreak" two weeks ago. Sent from my Nokia XR20 using Tapatalk |
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Blue_Bird, Breaking Dawn, SlumberKitty, WastingAsparagus
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: USA
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#389
I want a new battery put into my phone but I don't want to do another factory data reset. The battery in this phone was used a lot by whoever bought this phone before it was resold to me. It didn't come to me pristine and strong. I'm daf about everything. I want to go home with a new tv and all the snacks I've been craving.
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Blue_Bird, Breaking Dawn, Desoxyn, SlumberKitty, WastingAsparagus
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 22,122
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#390
But I'm forgetting the stupid fcking stairs. I don't know if I can use them again or if I need someone to help me. I may as well listen to a podcast or watch TV (Pluto tv). It's 6:00am.
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Blue_Bird, Breaking Dawn, SlumberKitty, WastingAsparagus
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
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#391
Called the dentist today about my tooth that’s broken and the gums are a little swollen and sore around the rest of the tooth. They said they have nothing else available today but to come there tomorrow early for an urgent care appointment. So I will have to head out at 6:30am tomorrow to get there.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Breaking Dawn, Desoxyn, SlumberKitty, WastingAsparagus
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Angelique67, cogladaid
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Location: CA
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#392
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Breaking Dawn
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#393
Today the Joan of Arc wanting to talk to me thing sounds more like delusion than reality to me. But maybe because I kept talking about it to different people and everyone kept telling me it was a delusion. I am kind of bummed though. Maybe she had something extraordinary to tell me. Now I will never know.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Breaking Dawn, Desoxyn, WastingAsparagus
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Elder
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 5,565
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#394
Quote:
It was a delusion. People who died in the 1400s don’t talk to people without it being a delusion. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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Breaking Dawn
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SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#395
Yeah, I am seeing that. Still, I can't help but to feel disappointed. I mean who wouldn't want to hear from a Saint? Maybe she had something really important to tell me.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Breaking Dawn
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cogladaid
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 22,122
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#396
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Breaking Dawn
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#397
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Breaking Dawn, SlumberKitty
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SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#398
Quote:
I'm always a bit fascinated with Joan of Arc--the saint--even when I am not in psychosis. I've been hyper focused on my religion due to my upcoming trip to Peru so I think maybe some wires got crossed in my head. Sorry for the misunderstanding! HUGS __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Breaking Dawn
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Angelique67
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,005
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#399
Sorry I was so tired last night, sitting - waiting for heart palps to take me out. They didn't happen last night. I had terrible, boring dreams. Woke up and realized that I DO need to live and die for something, or have a reason to get out of bed.... And this is all a terrible hallucination (Unless I'm on Vyvanse - And can just ignore, and go go go).
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Breaking Dawn, WastingAsparagus
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,787
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#400
Is it stupid to hate yourself because of your teeth. Like I had such a struggle for the majority of my life with dental hygiene. Half the time I was too depressed or didn’t care enough or motivated enough to take care of them. Now at 28 years old it’s starting to catch up with me. This will probably be the 2nd tooth that I have to get removed. I have so many fillings. And I have 2 crowns. I just feel so disappointed with myself and self conscious especially since I’m only 28 and have all these tooth problems. Like I’m scared I’ll have none by time I’m 40. I am brushing thoroughly 3 times a day now and flossing twice a day and using enamel repair mouthwash 2 times a day, I’ve been doing this everyday but hate how my teeth look and feel like they could be so much better if I went back in time and fixed whatever was wrong with me so I would actually brush my teeth and go to dental appointments etc. it didn’t help that my mom never took me to dental appointments after I was 6 until I was like 12. She never prioritized dental hygiene with me when I was little and she didn’t really take care of her own teeth because half the time she was too depressed to do so.
Of course my binge/purging for 10 years didn’t help things I know it’s my responsibility now but I can’t help but feel a lot of self hatred and regret recently regardless. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Breaking Dawn, Desoxyn, SlumberKitty, WastingAsparagus
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