Roll Call 197

HUGS Blue_Bird. I didn't go to the dentist for about five or six years as an adult. Now I am needing to take dental probiotics. It's not the end of my life but I do wish I had kept up with dental cleanings. They were just expensive and I didn't have the $ I hear you is what I am trying to say.

My mom made me a coffee.. Nicotine gum I chew...

Impossible! To keep track of all my uses..

But I'm okay today. We're going for a walk today.

Everything will be okay.

Angelique it's good to see you, I'm sorry about everything you're dealing with. Do you have any distractions, like a show/movies/games/art/journaling etc or anything just to take your mind off things for awhile? Won't change the situation but may give you a break and/or an outlet

Dear Kit, remember about our archetypes (Freud) ? Maybe Joan of Ark is an archetype for you? Can you think of anyone who resembles what you are experiencing or trying to avoid? I don't know, just a wonderment. Also, what if the Universe, Guardian Angels or God is trying to tell you something? God bless you, dear Kit. I hope all of your wondering will give you the answers you are looking for.

The only thing I can think is that I have been very focused on my faith so Joan of Arc could potentially represent any of the women who are Spiritual mentors to me. I don't know for sure though.

HUGS for you!

I have like eight filling and broke a tooth….we should start a club 😉. If you visit th dentist for cleanings regularly you won’t likely lose anymore, they typically break when there is cavity.

Edit: Anxiety

Thanks I’m gonna start keeping up with the dental cleanings with them from now on, every 6 months. And keep up with brushing/flossing 3 times a day.

What a day today though. I woke up with a bad migraine that I had from last night, my period started today (sorry for tmi, it just relates to what I’m saying) , and woke up also with the area around my tooth being swollen and hurting, and intense caffeine withdrawal, so my mood was kind of super low for most of the day till I gave in and had some caffeine. It’s not horrible but not the best day lol and I was kind of frustrated because they had no openings at the dentist today. But I should for sure get in tomorrow. I’m heading out at 6am (a little earlier than I had planned because I want to make SURE they can take me) so I can get there on time, so I’m first in line and get this taken care of.

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I sat outside yesterday, right in the sun. The sun was out bright , the sky was completely blue/clear. It was shining directly on where I was sitting. It was cold out but it was so nice that the sun was out for a brief time, so I tried to take advantage of it and sat out there for 15 minutes, for like vitamin D and it’s effects. It’s so gray outside from October through April.

I’m debating skipping my night meds tonight , I am afraid if I take them I won’t wake up on time to get to the dentist tomorrow. At night I take : trileptal, Thorazine, trazodone. I don’t think skipping them one dose will be a big deal right , if I take my normal meds tomorrow morning, afternoon and evening.

Not to be gross but, trigger for dental stuff

[trigger]my gums that are swollen where the tooth broke are randomly bleeding, , I’m scared I’ll like die of infection before I get to the dentist tomorrow[trigger]

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I think it’s an abscess , that ruptured, should I go to the ER? They don’t have an emergency dental place around here

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I'm back on 5 mg olanzapine. Just for a little while I guess. Until I can get over this insane anxiety I've been feeling.

Skipping doses is usually a no-no for me. It usually messes me up the next day.

You are doing a good job taking care of yourself.

I refuse to get a heart transplant

We live in a beautiful life.

I just need..

Energy.. motivation.,.mood lift.. emotion.. One sec, I'll search up some about emotions and report back.. Nostalgia I feel RN.

All the brain power I have RN is to just listen to good music. Most of the time, being an INFP is useless.

Going skiing tomorrow =]

An old hippie friend will be skiing with me and my mom. It'll be a nice day. I'll show him the "Psychedelia" sticker I have on my phone (From the San Pedro), and see what he says.. Cuz he's a major pot head (But Mensa IQ?).

I just have to ... manage to wake up early enough. It's so difficult for me..

My parents (Divorced) want to buy a house here (1.2M). I have income.. My mom got a job promotion.. We'll rent out the basement (For ~3k a month). My dad won't even have to work anymore. It's a good investment, and something to leave me and my siblings.

There's a hospital across town, liquor store, weed (?) stores, bar - We'll go skiing, hiking, etc.. Go on vacation whenever... My dad can retire here and see a doctor whenever (For surgery, health etc).

My grandmothers will leave their ~1M dollar houses to my parents.. So I won't really have to worry about being "broke" when I'm older.. And so, I still want to find a way to make money though... And stop my mind from decaying.

So it's pretty okay.. I'm really happy about this (If it were to happen).

If I don't get "hypnic jerks" tonight, I'll feel really relieved.. And I'll start running again (Almost every day), build exercise tolerance, stronger/healthier heart.. And start fasting a little too.

And of course, it would be really nice to live with my dad... It's unimaginable that this is actually happening.. We can listen to podcasts/music together all the time!

I feel grateful about all of this.. Both of my parents had cancer. It's strange. It's like the devil took it all away, and when I basically gave up, God gives it all back. I can't make sense of it..

I hope I do find friends in the future though... My reality was so distorted (In high school), and I avoided everyone. When I moved to this town, I made some friends.. and it was all because of the psychedelic trip - It wouldn't have happened otherwise. I'd probably have been dead too either by



And after the dissociative panic attacks, psychosis, dpdr, the depression can be managed much better - But I really have to TRY, to try really hard.. And maybe it's possible to continue on.. living.. and be happy.

My experience is very painful right now. God bless everyone, & may all of your good dreams come true.

I’m at the dentist, they gave me an urgent care appointment and are seeing me shortly

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Blue_Bird, I'm crossing my fingers & hoping your dentist makes it a lot better this morning.