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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,987
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Feb 04, 2023 at 05:06 PM
#701
Just suffering through I guess. That's all I can do. I'll burn with this reality and transform one day/or lost time in this void of hell.
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 SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
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Feb 04, 2023 at 06:27 PM
#702
So stressed. Social security appears to have cut me off due to the address change thing, it's a long story. Anyway, I have to call them on Monday and also call my doctor to write a note that I can live on my own because apparently I was supposed to be living with my sister still since she's my payee, my benefits are no longer there. So I am stressed beyond belief right now and don't know what to do. If I don't get this straightened out before February 28th I will end up getting evicted
__________________ R.I.P mom  8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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| Desoxyn, falcon09, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic, WastingAsparagus
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,745
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Feb 04, 2023 at 07:51 PM
#703
I’m crying. I’ve gotten nowhere in life. I’m a ****ing failure.
My anxiety is so bad tonight, I feel dissociated Maybe dying isn’t something to be afraid of. Almost seems like it would be a relief, I feel like I shouldn’t exist (not going to do anything , just thoughts) Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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| Desoxyn, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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 falcon09
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,987
(SuperPoster!)
7 4,912 hugs
given
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Feb 04, 2023 at 07:52 PM
#704
I am in some form of relationship. I don't like close friendships etc with people because my insecurities seem like I'm withdrawing from heroin at some times.
Maybe a little heroin would help (Just an idea, don't worry..) |
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,987
(SuperPoster!)
7 4,912 hugs
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Feb 04, 2023 at 07:59 PM
#705
Quote:
You're not a failure - I'm not sure if I understand how people think they are failures, stuff like that - But don't worry, it's all good!... Don't put that much pressure on yourself. That disability thing happened to me as well (When I moved), and my mom broke down and cried (Because she didn't do my taxes for 3 years) and I said "Don't worry about it!!" These problems are a hassle and a little scary, but easily fixed with a more focused mind.. Dissociation is the brain trying to escape unbearable anguish (So you are safe from mind) |
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Blue_Bird
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,745
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Feb 04, 2023 at 08:06 PM
#706
Quote:
Thanks, yeah I dissociate when I don’t know how to handle stress and feel extremely overwhelmed. Guess it’s just my brain trying to protect me. It’s kind of annoying though because I hate when it happens. Anyway, sorry I haven’t been as supportive lately, I hope you feel better  I was just preoccupied for a few days with looking at recipes and stuff then this evening found out about social security so I kind of spiraled downward since 6pm today. I started thinking what happens to my cats if I get evicted. I can’t lose them. And I don’t want to lose my apartment either of course. It’s just stressful. And I’m not used to dealing with SS because normally it was my sister who did everything for me in regards to SSI paperwork and stuff like that.I’ll call them on Monday morning and see what they say. I will also ask my housing support specialist to help me with it if I need help Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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| Desoxyn, SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, Desoxyn
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,745
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Feb 04, 2023 at 08:11 PM
#707
Since I can’t do anything about it RIGHT now I’m just trying to relax and focus on other things , kind of distract myself until Monday morning when I can start taking action to get it resolved.
I’m listening to an audiobook right now. Ikigai : Japanese Secrets to a long and healthy life. It is really good and really informative Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Angelique67, cogladaid, Desoxyn, falcon09, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,745
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Feb 04, 2023 at 08:13 PM
#708
Also trying to cut out caffeine. Very slowly , I drink way too much. Like 6-7 cups caffeinated coffee a day. Too much, makes anxiety worse
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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| falcon09, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic, WastingAsparagus
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Desoxyn, falcon09
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Elder
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 5,565
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Feb 04, 2023 at 08:15 PM
#709
I went out to a restaurant today with my mom and sister. Been going around the last couple days without a mask.
It was nice. I had a tofu power bowl and we shared chicken nachos. Had a couple drinks. I missed going to restaurants. It’s been like three years. I can’t post two pictures at a time so one at a time.  Tofu power bowl. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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Angelique67, Blue_Bird, Desoxyn, falcon09, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic, unsure123
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Elder
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 5,565
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Feb 04, 2023 at 08:15 PM
#710
Chicken nachos.
 Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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Angelique67, Blue_Bird, Desoxyn, falcon09, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic, unsure123
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,987
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Feb 04, 2023 at 11:03 PM
#711
Today was a bad day =/
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| SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic, WastingAsparagus
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: United States
Posts: 3,018
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Feb 04, 2023 at 11:41 PM
#712
Quote:
I had the same thing happen to me when I moved out and started living in my own apartment rather than living with my parents. I know it's really stressful, but it's pretty easy to fix it once you can get social security on the phone. sending good vibes your way.
__________________ 
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Angelique67, Blue_Bird, Desoxyn, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,745
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10 14.3k hugs
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Feb 05, 2023 at 07:55 AM
#713
Quote:
Thank you! I appreciate that  That’s a relief to hear that others have experienced similar, I am calling them Monday morning so I’ll update on here with how it goes Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Angelique67, falcon09, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,745
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10 14.3k hugs
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Feb 05, 2023 at 10:08 AM
#714
I hope you feel better Desoxyn, I'm sorry you've been struggling
Sent from my M8L using Tapatalk __________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Desoxyn
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,745
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Feb 05, 2023 at 10:10 AM
#715
The food looks amazing cogladaid
Falcon, I hope your able to find a med that works for you Wasting asparagus, hope things are going okay since you moved and hope you can find some good friends there SP, yeah I'll just buy a sirloin I guess and cut it up, I'm not sure how to cut meat but I guess I'll figure it out Sent from my M8L using Tapatalk __________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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| SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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Angelique67, cogladaid, falcon09
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,745
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10 14.3k hugs
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Feb 05, 2023 at 10:16 AM
#716
I walked to the store today because it was a lot warmer. Today its around 20 degrees farenheight , much better than the previous two days. I got two 7lb bags of cat litter , 2 cases of 12 cans of cat food each so 24 cans total, dish soap, and laundry detergent. Was very heavy to carry home but glad I took care of it. Forgot to get paper towels but I'll get them on Tuesday.
Feeling stressed about tomorrow, calling social security. Part of me logically knows this thing can be fixed and isn't the biggest deal in the world but part of me feels like panicking. I'm gonna go downstairs in the morning when the housing support specialist is here and tell her what's going on and ask if she can help me with getting it straightened out. Also I'm doing the no coffee thing. Started today. No coffee both caffeineted and decaf. So I'm just drinking water. It feels extremely boring. I just want a cup of coffee but I need to stop drinking it because the acidity is bad for my teeth and the caffeine is bad for my anxiety. Sent from my M8L using Tapatalk __________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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| SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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Angelique67, cogladaid, Desoxyn, falcon09, unsure123
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Elder
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 5,565
8
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Feb 05, 2023 at 11:10 AM
#717
I’m so bored. I woke up did some biking, had a bunch of cold brew, watched some TV, did a bunch of cleaning, now I’m sitting down for coffee watching more TV.
It’s only 10am. I want to do something. I don’t need any clothes, went to Winners last night, went to a restaurant last night, don’t need any groceries (did the weekly shop and also found a bunch of discount meat yesterday). Only thing I have planned today is make tamales with my mom. Pork is already cooked just have to make the masa mix, pack them, and steam them. Maybe I’ll go for Starbucks or an iced tea later. The milk tea place doesn’t open until noon. I’m just bored. Looking at social media over and over again. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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| Desoxyn, falcon09, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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Desoxyn, unsure123
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since May 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 26,409
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Feb 05, 2023 at 05:10 PM
#718
Quote:
__________________ Hugs! 
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Blue_Bird, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since May 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 26,409
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Feb 05, 2023 at 05:11 PM
#719
Quote:
__________________ Hugs!
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SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
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Feb 05, 2023 at 06:50 PM
#720
I feel kind of depressed tonight. I laid down and slept or 2 and a half hours during the later afternoon today because I just wanted to get away from my thoughts. I can't help catastrophizing the whole SSI situation even though it's probably pretty straightforward to resolve after I call them tomorrow morning, I'll probably just have to turn in paperwork or something from my doctor stating I'm capable of living alone and meet someone at the social seccurity office or something
__________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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| Desoxyn, falcon09, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic, WastingAsparagus
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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