Roll Call 199

SlumberKitty · Apr 11, 2023 at 03:44 PM

HUGS Cogladaid

SlumberKitty · Apr 11, 2023 at 03:44 PM

I miss my T. I wish she weren't on vacation.

MuddyBoots · Apr 11, 2023 at 03:47 PM

cogladaid I know what it's like to feel left out/mistreated by coworkers, and it sucks. Best you can do is just stick to yourself. I'm sorry they made stupid jokes about your hands hurting. That was incredibly rude. I hope whatever's wrong with you has a quick and simple fix.

cogladaid · Apr 11, 2023 at 04:02 PM

Thanks guys. Nice to hear I’m not being unreasonable or petty by not engaging.

My doctor worried last time I saw him that I might have drug induced lupus so it might be that.

I’ll find out next week.

Also, I see this other doctor next week as well. I had that lymphoma scare that turned out to be sarcoidosis (basically white blood cell build up) and I think I still might have some inflamed lymph nodes under my arm pit because it feels uncomfortable a lot lately.

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Angelique67 · Apr 11, 2023 at 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I kind of feel like on an out of control uphill rollercoaster that keeps going higher and higher and is just bound to crash

Any insight is appreciated/welcome

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Do things that will help yourself not crash, like take all your meds as directed. Otherwise, enjoy the euphoria.

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Blue_Bird · Apr 11, 2023 at 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

I miss my T. I wish she weren't on vacation.

Sorry SK, I hope you can see her soon

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Blue_Bird · Apr 11, 2023 at 04:16 PM

Sorry about your friends Cogladaid, they don’t seem like good friends

I hope you feel better and get some answers regarding the lupus soon

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Blue_Bird · Apr 11, 2023 at 04:18 PM

I’m taking my Thorazine tonight with my night meds and going to sleep even if I sleep in a little late

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Angelique67 · Apr 11, 2023 at 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

Do things that will help yourself not crash, like take all your meds as directed. Otherwise, enjoy the euphoria.

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Oops, forgot to say try not to take 3 Klonopin per day. That's incredibly irresponsible of your provider to prescribe/recommend that. You will be glad if you keep taking it sparingly, prn.

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Blue_Bird · Apr 11, 2023 at 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

Oops, forgot to say try not to take 3 Klonopin per day. That's incredibly irresponsible of your provider to prescribe/recommend that. You will be glad if you keep taking it sparingly, prn.

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Yeah I haven’t been taking it, I took one today just to calm myself down but hadn’t taken any in a couple weeks

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cogladaid · Apr 11, 2023 at 08:48 PM

I feel kind of depressed now.

I had this feeling earlier to stop taking my meds and just go insane and start pulling out my hair again.

But I took my meds and I’ll try to sleep this off. I don’t want to blow up my life.

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Desoxyn · Apr 12, 2023 at 12:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cogladaid

I feel kind of depressed now.

I had this feeling earlier to stop taking my meds and just go insane and start pulling out my hair again.

But I took my meds and I’ll try to sleep this off. I don’t want to blow up my life.

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Hugs cog.. Remember, balance!.. is key.

Like I could have stopped the full 10mg of olanzepine, but I just took half (5mg). That, my friend.. is balance. No one with schiz or bipolar has ever done this. I would like my Nobel prize in the mail through priority postage tyvm.

cogladaid · Apr 12, 2023 at 11:39 AM

Had a frank conversation with my mom about OCD. She has it to a mild form like me. She has things she has to do. And I relate. Little things. We bonded.

It’s nice to know I’m not alone with these oddities. She gets it. And I get it from her lmao.

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SlumberKitty · Apr 12, 2023 at 12:45 PM

Yesterday I was feeling really bad. Like suicidal. But today, although I don't feel great, I don't feel as bad. I still feel a little suicidal but it's not so much. YKWIM?

MuddyBoots · Apr 12, 2023 at 12:52 PM

Hugs, kit

Desoxyn · Apr 12, 2023 at 02:15 PM

Take me like a pill, take me like a pill, no one ever will - Fill the black hole in your heart.

Hugs to all

Desoxyn · Apr 12, 2023 at 04:37 PM

I'm gonna take Invega pills instead of the "Invega Trinza" injection. Idk wtf they're putting in that injection, where it comes from, how it gets here, how it could possibly be tampered/messed with. I don't trust this ****** corrupt system. Just give me my paliperidone pills, antagonize my serotonin receptors a little (Cuz that's not my fault I was born in this **** without taking psychedelics when I needed to at age ~14 or so).

Hahaha! ^-

I was a shaman.. And they turned my consciousness into depressed, lead. Grey matter deteriorating like the radiation that we are.

Decay, brain cell! Decay!

It's all destruction... That's all this is. Nothing is permanent. And out of that, creation. All it is. No one is in control.

Desoxyn · Apr 12, 2023 at 04:51 PM

I am too stupid on my own. I need people. And love (God, possibly - But I am too smart, to just.. go along... without questioning.. everything).

Alone, I'm okay - Once I get enough of a dose, to keep me going. Patterns, etc.

But it's been hard to start and finish things. I'm doing pretty okay with that now though... I just needed divine reassurance, from the mushroom.

And so here we are, in this reality. Sorry that if I die, none of you will exist. And that I could die, and still exist - for you (With other copies of yourselves, connected to me) - So who knows. But where I'm going? I'm not sure.. I'll figure it out..

MuddyBoots · Apr 12, 2023 at 06:52 PM

Desoxyn you are not stupid. You're actually so smart I don't know what to say to you most of the time. You talk all philosophical and spiritual, on a level I can't even grasp. Some of the things you say are inconsistent, but they sure are creative and show out of the box thinking which is something I really appreciate.

I hope you're truly doing OK.

MuddyBoots · Apr 12, 2023 at 06:57 PM

Well I did my hike today and went to the dentist. Dentist went okay, actually just need a bunch of fillings which will happen soon enough. Hike went fabulous. Here's a couple pics.

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Roll Call 199

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SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Apr 11, 2023 at 03:44 PM #81 HUGS Cogladaid __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Apr 11, 2023 at 03:44 PM #82 I miss my T. I wish she weren't on vacation. __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

MuddyBoots Monster on the Hill Member Since Sep 2020 Location: by the river Posts: 4,247 (SuperPoster!) 3 4,886 hugs given	Apr 11, 2023 at 03:47 PM #83 cogladaid I know what it's like to feel left out/mistreated by coworkers, and it sucks. Best you can do is just stick to yourself. I'm sorry they made stupid jokes about your hands hurting. That was incredibly rude. I hope whatever's wrong with you has a quick and simple fix. __________________ Live life for nothing but that sweet sweet melody.

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,749 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Apr 11, 2023 at 04:18 PM #88 I’m taking my Thorazine tonight with my night meds and going to sleep even if I sleep in a little late Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

cogladaid Elder Member Since Jul 2015 Location: Nowhere Posts: 5,565 8	Apr 11, 2023 at 08:48 PM #91 I feel kind of depressed now. I had this feeling earlier to stop taking my meds and just go insane and start pulling out my hair again. But I took my meds and I’ll try to sleep this off. I don’t want to blow up my life. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

cogladaid Elder Member Since Jul 2015 Location: Nowhere Posts: 5,565 8	Apr 12, 2023 at 11:39 AM #93 Had a frank conversation with my mom about OCD. She has it to a mild form like me. She has things she has to do. And I relate. Little things. We bonded. It’s nice to know I’m not alone with these oddities. She gets it. And I get it from her lmao. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Apr 12, 2023 at 12:45 PM #94 Yesterday I was feeling really bad. Like suicidal. But today, although I don't feel great, I don't feel as bad. I still feel a little suicidal but it's not so much. YKWIM? __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

MuddyBoots Monster on the Hill Member Since Sep 2020 Location: by the river Posts: 4,247 (SuperPoster!) 3 4,886 hugs given	Apr 12, 2023 at 12:52 PM #95 Hugs, kit __________________ Live life for nothing but that sweet sweet melody.

Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,989 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Apr 12, 2023 at 02:15 PM #96 Take me like a pill, take me like a pill, no one ever will - Fill the black hole in your heart. Hugs to all

MuddyBoots Monster on the Hill Member Since Sep 2020 Location: by the river Posts: 4,247 (SuperPoster!) 3 4,886 hugs given	Apr 12, 2023 at 06:57 PM #100 Well I did my hike today and went to the dentist. Dentist went okay, actually just need a bunch of fillings which will happen soon enough. Hike went fabulous. Here's a couple pics. __________________ Live life for nothing but that sweet sweet melody.