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Sometimes psychotic
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Default Oct 20, 2023 at 08:58 PM
  #781
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I’m trying to make it a year then probably leave. Because I don’t think I can put up with it for longer than than necessary. I just want a year of experience to be able to put on a resume
I’d say for a job like that start looking for something better in six months, you don’t need to wait a year.

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Default Oct 21, 2023 at 11:33 AM
  #782
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I’d say for a job like that start looking for something better in six months, you don’t need to wait a year.
Yeah I probably will. I’ve been there 2 months now about. Got 4 months left then. Then I can start looking for something else.

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Default Oct 21, 2023 at 11:33 AM
  #783
I got my covid and flu shots today.

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Default Oct 21, 2023 at 03:40 PM
  #784
I cooked dinner for later. The Big Mac sloppy joes. First time I’ve actually cooked in months.

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Default Oct 21, 2023 at 03:46 PM
  #785
Turned 26 today.

I'm susceptible on birthdays to be overly pessimistic, to look back on my life as a waste, ruined by schizophrenia. But today I'm trying to force myself to view it differently, to appreciate my friends, my hobbies, the little things that make life worth living. A cigarette and coffee in the morning, a good book, a good movie, an engrossing video game. It's hard, but I'm trying at least. Here's to another year of my life, hopefully.

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Default Oct 21, 2023 at 03:47 PM
  #786
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Turned 26 today.

I'm susceptible on birthdays to be overly pessimistic, to look back on my life as a waste, ruined by schizophrenia. But today I'm trying to force myself to view it differently, to appreciate my friends, my hobbies, the little things that make life worth living. A cigarette and coffee in the morning, a good book, a good movie, an engrossing video game. It's hard, but I'm trying at least. Here's to another year of my life, hopefully.
Happy birthday falcon!

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Default Oct 21, 2023 at 03:49 PM
  #787
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I got my covid and flu shots today.
I got both of those a few days ago as well. I always get really sick for one day after vaccines, but wasn't too bad this time around.

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Default Oct 21, 2023 at 08:51 PM
  #788
Good day today! I had a good, long sleep - When I came home from work, we went for a walk (To the lake), came home - And then went to another lake, to see an indigenous performance (By a teepee) - It was pretty cool, all spiritual/philosophical, music, drums, electric guitar, singing - As the sun set, moon.. Now we're back home again, and will walk into town to see a drone show (:
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Default Oct 21, 2023 at 10:53 PM
  #789
I’m trying to cut way back on sugar intake. Like no sugary drinks, and rarely have any kind of pastry (occasionally for a holiday like Halloween for example I’m making pumpkin bread) but other than that no candy, ice cream etc. I’m already having intense cravings for it. It’s gonna be difficult but I’m gonna try to do it. Try to see how it affects me. I’ve been addicted to sugar for way too long. Like I get irritable and withdrawal symptoms, cravings when I go without it. It’s crazy. I need to cut back on it a lot.

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Default Oct 21, 2023 at 10:55 PM
  #790
The Big Mac sloppy joes came out amazing, they tasted so good. And I have leftovers for the next three days.

Next meal I plan on cooking is next Friday I’m making skinless boneless chicken breast tenderoin cut up into small pieces and cooked with steamed veggies and brown rice with some teriyaki sauce

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Default Oct 21, 2023 at 11:01 PM
  #791
All in all I had a really good day today. I got my covid and flu shots. I actually cooked and the food came out really good. Practiced violin and ukulele for a couple hours. Played a game of magic the gathering with my bf over video chat.

Played some games on my phone. (Pokemon Go and the Hello Kitty game)

Listened to a lot of good music, watched an episode of supernatural.

I’m supposed to hang out with my friend tomorrow morning but idk if I’m gonna be able to because it’s midnight and I’m wide awake still. And idk how I’ll feel tomorrow from the shots I got today.

I have my violin lesson in the afternoon. Looking forward to it. I feel like I’m getting better some.

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Default Oct 21, 2023 at 11:06 PM
  #792
I have stimulant and mushroom induced hypomania. Good thing I don't get manic!

I wanted to

Possible trigger:


two nights ago. So I have underlying issues - Which my psychiatrist knows about. It can get the darkest of the dark.

And I see all of the reddit posts about those types of thoughts. I wish I could help them.. I really do...

There's just too many of the posts.. And there's hundreds every hour.. It's horrible.

I try to lift people up with every post I make... Except when I'm extremely low myself.
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Default Oct 21, 2023 at 11:17 PM
  #793
I try to live....

I never really get hypomanic either. I'm always rational and have empathy. I rarely have to say sorry for being insensitive.

I just go into tangents that go off point a lot when I write, talk etc.

Cuz of the isolation that has happened. Sometimes I'm not all there.

But I can be smart sometimes.
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Default Oct 22, 2023 at 05:40 AM
  #794
I'm going to try to make a living as a writer, know it won't be easy necessarily, but I have enough saved up that I can make ends meet for now.

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Default Oct 22, 2023 at 09:31 AM
  #795
Having a good day so far. Last day off before I go to work tomorrow. Making the most of it.

Did a load of laundry, made my bed, washed all the dishes, brushed teeth, took morning meds, ate, fed the cats. Spent like an hour or longer reading a book on my kindle fire. Have my violin lesson later today at 3pm. I get my new comforter for my bed today. And the memory foam pillow. So my bed will be more cozy. Just drinking some coffee now and listening to music. Trying to decide what else to do. I might read more. Or play a videogame. Probably both. It’s only 10:30am.

The games I’ve been playing lately are:

Mobile games:
Hello Kitty
Pokémon Go

Xbox games:
Life is Strange

Gonna meditate for 30 minutes as well and take a shower

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Default Oct 22, 2023 at 11:43 AM
  #796
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Originally Posted by falcon09 View Post
Turned 26 today.

I'm susceptible on birthdays to be overly pessimistic, to look back on my life as a waste, ruined by schizophrenia. But today I'm trying to force myself to view it differently, to appreciate my friends, my hobbies, the little things that make life worth living. A cigarette and coffee in the morning, a good book, a good movie, an engrossing video game. It's hard, but I'm trying at least. Here's to another year of my life, hopefully.
Happy birthday, falcon!!! Roll Call 201

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Default Oct 22, 2023 at 11:45 AM
  #797
I now have 4 hours of paid sick time available. My shifts lately are typically 4 hours. So if I ever need to I have enough to cover a whole day off and get paid for it. If I get overwhelmed mentally or something and need a day off

I’m trying to hang onto it and keep accumulating more though in case I get physically sick this fall/winter

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Default Oct 22, 2023 at 11:51 AM
  #798
I’m basically just trying to push through the holiday season and wait till January before I take a paid day off. Trying to make sure it’s worth it and I have something fun planned. And maybe schedule it before a weekend so I have like 4 days off in a row. I have Tuesdays, fridays, Saturdays and Sundays off. So maybe on a Thursday. But yeah just gonna power through the holiday season even if it will be stressful.

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Default Oct 22, 2023 at 12:57 PM
  #799
Studying some music theory. My violin lesson is in an hour.

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Default Oct 22, 2023 at 09:17 PM
  #800
Everything's going so well =[

Not sure if I've felt this content and accomplished in my life. I cleaned the bathroom, bought 70 dollars worth of toiletries (I write down everything in my "reminders" app.. It took years and years, to build this habit... Or any of my habits..)

It's just constant good habits that I've built over years and years.. (Maybe past 3-4 years mostly). It just intensifies, after..

The frontal lobe..

..developed..
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