Roll Call 202

I got 16,000 steps today

I'm buying a winter coat, like a heavwyweight one. I have a lightweight one but I don't think it will be warm enough when it really starts getting cold. So I'm ordering one that's one sale for black friday from $150 down to $89. Also a new beanie, gloves, a scarf, a neck/face covering for wind. We're gonna be warm. It's worth it since I'll be spending a lot of time outside

Hey guys I reinstalled snap but when I tried to see the messages I couldn't find them. I was logged in. The notifications were driving me crazy, is there anyway to turn those off? Thanks, I hope to see those messages.

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It’s half past midnight. Probably gonna sleep most of thanksgiving day today. I am just now taking my night meds. And I have to be up by 3am Friday morning for work. So I don’t really care if I sleep most of the day. At least I’ll feel rested and prepared for Friday. I have to get up that early again on Saturday. The store opens the doors at 7am for Black Friday instead of their usual time of 9am. I have to clock in by 6:45am. I’m cashiering till 12pm. Then Saturday I’m cashiering from 7am again till 3pm. I’m probably gonna sleep a lot of Sunday since I have the day off. Then Monday I have work again.

I got paid a day early. Ordered my down coat since it's on sale for black friday from $150 down to $89. It won't get here till december but it's a really good deal and winter lasts here till sometimes late march, early april so it's okay. Also got a scarf, a neck/face cover thing for cold weather/wind, gloves, and a carhartt beanie. I also got full sized large 2 yankee candles, one for my niece and one for my sister for Christmas since they were on sale for $15 each down from $30 each. I will do the rest of my christmas shopping in the next few weeks.

I'm gonna also get my niece a $50 gift card, and some aromatherapy body lotion from bath and body works. Getting the same type of lotion for my sister too but a different scent, and a otterbox phone case for my sister's iphone 13 pro since she needs one. For my boyfriend I'm getting some electric guitar strings, picks, music staff paper, a guitar string cutter/ peg winder, a funko pop full metal alchemist figure from the anime, and some yugioh cards and sleeves.

And that will be all my christmas shopping taken care of

Happy thanksgiving!

I went ahead and picked up an Oral B pro 1000 electric toothbrush. It was on sale from $69 down to $29. So I’ve wanted a good electric toothbrush for a very long time. But I never felt comfortable spending a lot of money on one. I considered getting one earlier in the year but decided I’d hold off and see if there were any sales during the holidays. And this was a great price reduction. This will be my first electric toothbrush , I’ve only ever used manual toothbrushes.

I don’t typically shop Black Friday sales but I couldn’t resist this year cause I really needed a new winter coat and the toothbrush is an added bonus. I got a Michael Kohrs $269 winter coat that was on sale for $89, same one SP got. I had initially got a different one from Amazon but cancelled my order for that and went to Macys website and got the one she mentioned cause it was for the same price but a much better brand, and probably better quality.

Anyway, I have to be up at 4am tomorrow cause I have to clock into work by 6:45am. I work from then to 12pm. Then I’m gonna stop by family dollar on my way home and buy a disposable roasting pan so I can cook my Turkey tomorrow afternoon. I decided to wait till tomorrow. Idk why. I just didn’t feel up to doing anything today.

This is the coat

Love it ! We will be remote twins ❤️

Have you tried updating the Snapchat app? Is your phone updated to the latest software?

Having an existential crisis. I'm going to find more books to read.

I'll do more things - But I'm going to do 100% planning (What I want to do), and then do those things....

It's going to be very difficult. Spiritual things, exploring shadow self, etc etc..

Yes, I installed it anew. Phone has latest updates. The only page I could see was a list of users. I need Snapchat for dummies.

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There's an astrologer named Liz Green (I think) who wrote extensively about the Jungian shadow. I think the Saturn book is one of a few.

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Noooooo I have to head to work in like an hour and a half. I haven’t gotten any sleep. Im probably not gonna get much sleep tonight either because I have to be up by 3:30am again tomorrow. Im wondering if I should take my Thorazine several hours early tonight. So I can try to get at least a couple hours of sleep. Im not looking forward today. 5 hours 15 minutes and I can come home. That’s it. I just have to get through the chaos of Black Friday. Tomorrow I work an 8 hour 15 minute shift. :/

I’ve been an employee there for 2 months and 25 days so far. I hate it. It screws up my sleep schedule. One of the managers is an asshole and hard to deal with. I’m trying really hard to hang on 3 more months, to just at least have 6 months of experience which is better than what I had before. But I’m having a hard time with the stress and sleep deprivation from the random schedule and weird times. I’m to the point where I don’t really care if they were to fire me or something. Cause it would be a relief. I want to quit but I don’t want to at the same time. I’m just trying to stick it out a full 6 months then reassess and go from there.

I want nothing more than to say **** it today and go to sleep and not show up. I have been up since yesterday morning.

Idk why I’m putting myself through this tbh. The cons out weight the benefits by a lot. My sleep is so screwed up. I go at least two nights per week with zero sleep all night. So I’m up for two 40ish hour periods per week. Sometimes I don’t get from work till 10 which isn’t super late but it takes me like 3-4 hours to even begin to wind down from it for sleep. And then I usually have to be up early for another shift the next day so I end up just not sleeping at all. And I have to skip my meds frequently in order to not sleep so I can make it to work

I took today off. I decided I’ll try to stay a full 6 months and once I hit 6 months if I feel I need to I’ll put in my 2 week notice and leave on good terms with a good amount of experience. I couldn’t do Black Friday on zero sleep, I just couldn’t. I called in sick, I didn’t want to but I couldn’t drag myself there today. They were like you were the only cashier and like well that’s not my fault, and also I think it’s bs that they had just me scheduled for cashiering because there’s no way I’d be the only cashier on Black Friday. Just trying to guilt trip me I think

All I need to do is make it through 3 more months. Then if I feel it’s necessary I’ll put in my two weeks notice after that. 12 more weeks roughly. I can do it.

You can do it BB! It would be a huge accomplishment!

Lack of sleep like that is quite terrible. But bipolar peoples are like that unfortunate.

I thought I took zopiclone last night, then realized I didn't. No wonder I took clonazepam and fell asleep at 6am.

I had 3x 30-45 minute long sleep paralysis episodes this morning lol.

Thank you, I am certainly gonna do my best to make it happen. 3 months should go by fast. I’ve already been there 2 months and 25 days. I guess if I decide once I hit 6 months that I can handle another couple months I’ll do that but I’ll decide then because I don’t know how my mental health will be 3 months from now. I could be completely burnt out by then and hating life but maybe not. I’ll take it month by month and keep reassessing. The main thing I want to avoid is suddenly quitting without notice, or just stop showing up completely. Cause that wouldn’t look good. When I do leave it will be done properly and leave things on good terms. I’m not staying longer than a year. I am aiming for at least 6 months, 8-9 months would be even better but my absolute limit is one year. I’m not sticking around after that because it’s way too stressful to do long term. Basically it’s just a job to get experience and that’s it. That’s all I’m using it for. To put on a resume in the future to get a better job after I finish college. It makes me sick to my stomach with stress , dread and anxiety. But I just have to push through, because there is an end in sight. Thankfully. 3 more months. Then I reassess and decide what to do.

Anyway, I’m still volunteering with the cats on Tuesdays and that’s good experience as well. And it’s rewarding. Unlike my actual job. I’m less frustrated by customers now even though they can sometimes be difficult and more aggravated by a particular manager who is a complete jerk and is everywhere micromanaging people and talking down to people.

I need to get my sleep schedule straightened out but it’s so freaking hard with the unpredictable hours and schedule. I’m using Pokémon Sleep to motivate me to sleep but the problem is my work schedule screws my sleep up so much. If I’m stressed I can’t sleep. I’m not like a lot of people where some can go home from work very late go right to sleep then get up , I take 4-5 hours to wind down after a shift. That sounds absurd but it’s just the way I am. So if I’m getting home anywhere from 10pm to midnight that leaves no room for sleep. I can’t force myself to sleep because my mind is racing and I have a hard time calming down after work.

Then these early morning shifts like tomorrow. I have to be up by 3:30am if I want to get to work on time. I have to clock in at 6:45am tomorrow. Between getting ready, eating breakfast, etc walking to the bus stop, waiting for the bus, riding the bus, getting off the bus, walking to work. It’s just a long commute