[FireBird]

Sometimes I experience severe paranoia or what I think is paranoia. Just remember just because you are paranoid does not mean they are NOT out to get you. Yesterday was one of those days and so was at Arts Walk in my area. I am pissed at the people who deliberately singled me out to kill me through depression there. They went to the other artist and totally blew me off like I was someone that wasn't meant to succeed. They hated me because of who I am. I am serious here people, 90% of the people went to the artist in the front of the building and ignored me. That made me so angry. Sometimes I was trying to wave them over but even seeing that they looked and walked away. I hated being there. I thought it was going to be the best art show I have ever done (tens of thousands go to this event) but it turned out it was the worst. Then yesterday I was eating at a restaurant next to a window and for awhile there I was scared to death that someone was going to kill me by doing a drive by shooting. Then things got worse from there. I went to my art class and started experiencing weird symptoms. I started smelling weird things and then I thought someone was sending chemical weapons into the classroom. I felt something enter my body and I don't know what it was. What is your paranoia like?

[hrcj1]

That sounds very frightening. Do those ideas tend to go away once you get away from whatever is stressing you?

Did you feel better after leaving that unsuccessful art show? (sorry about that, it definitely happens to any artist, and those guys who went past your display probably weren't thinking about you at all.)

[Rose3]

There will be other art shows.
You do sound kind of frightened about sitting near a restaurant window. Hopefully things are more relaxed now. And there was no shooting.
I wonder what it was that you were smelling at the art class. But I seriously doubt that anybody was sending chemical weapons.

[PsyChris]

Sometimes delusions can create different types of hallucinations. Often people who believe others are trying to poison them may notice a funny taste to their food. This can be especially frightening because it seems like solid physical evidence.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience at the art show. It seems like the stress of the event caused you to become delusional. Do you have a pdoc or therapist you can talk to about this?

Also, there will be other art shows!

Do you have any photos or digital reproductions of your art to show us? I'm sure you would get many positive comments.

[john4]

Re: Firebird
PARANOIA

They say I’m paranoid, I say I’m
just normal - but cautious. I’m
sure he, or someone like him,
can even now, get me. I sit in
my home day and night, but
am happy in my own company.

I’m happy to be at home
but sometimes I’d like to roam
outside in the wind and the sun
- now that would be such fun,
but now it’s all over for me:
they say I’m delusional, you see,
I no longer go out and about
all because of this nasty lout
who assaulted me one fine day
one day I am sure he will pay.
I had a nervous breakdown -
began acting like a demented clown,
but I’m now on the mend
and so greetings I send
to all fellow-sufferers out there
as I suffer depression in my lair
“keep up the good work” is my
message to you all
remember that you, too, can walk tall,
just like me, you can be on the mend,
Good Luck, from another new friend.