[Doesitend?]

My husband is the only child of a schizophrenic who has never been medicated or hospitalized. It is quite a sad situation. He says that he realized his mother was different when he was 6 years old, and that he has been able to overcome his abusive past with no therapy. My question is this: He thinks that everything I say and do is to hurt or demean him. This is not true. He has periods when he is elated with me, which are usually when I am doing things his way and lavishing him with attention. He needs constant reaffirmation, even for doing the dishes, and he can be quite cruel with his actions and words. He has recently begun destructive violence when angry. He always cannot be wrong, and cannot take criticism. Everything is always everyone else's fault. Could he have schizophrenic tendencies, sociopathic what? I urge him to get counseling, but he refuses, saying he is fine, that I am crazy. Yes, I am depressed, but it is mainly from being in this rollercoaster marriage, and I am in counseling. Thanks for any help!

[justalittleparanoid]

He might be delusional. With the first thing you said. What kind of schizophrenic was his mom? Im not an expert. But posibly he might have tendencies. but thats just from my prospective.

[luvdogs]

Originally Posted by Doesitend?

My husband is the only child of a schizophrenic who has never been medicated or hospitalized. It is quite a sad situation. He says that he realized his mother was different when he was 6 years old, and that he has been able to overcome his abusive past with no therapy. My question is this: He thinks that everything I say and do is to hurt or demean him. This is not true. He has periods when he is elated with me, which are usually when I am doing things his way and lavishing him with attention. He needs constant reaffirmation, even for doing the dishes, and he can be quite cruel with his actions and words. He has recently begun destructive violence when angry. He always cannot be wrong, and cannot take criticism. Everything is always everyone else's fault. Could he have schizophrenic tendencies, sociopathic what? I urge him to get counseling, but he refuses, saying he is fine, that I am crazy. Yes, I am depressed, but it is mainly from being in this rollercoaster marriage, and I am in counseling. Thanks for any help!

i also am the child of a schizophrenic,and my mother was,too.both she and her brother married schizophrenics.i suffer from depression,anxiety,etc. i believe my hideous mental problems are genetic/environment based,but i am not schizophrenic.he may or may not be schizophrenic,but certainly his mother's illness affected him some way,somehow.my dad was diagnosed as schizophrenic,but during the time i knew him as a child,he was very loving and kind to me--i loved him more than anyone in the world.he died young,age 45,i was 7.i still miss him so much.there are diff kinds of schizophrenia,and varying degrees of it.schizophrenic doesn't neccessarily mean sociopathic.a good psychiatrist can explain this illness best.

[marcelodlanod]

...Do everything it takes to het him some professional help...

[Doesitend?]

Originally Posted by marcelodlanod

...Do everything it takes to het him some professional help...

Originally Posted by luvdogs

i also am the child of a schizophrenic,and my mother was,too.both she and her brother married schizophrenics.i suffer from depression,anxiety,etc. i believe my hideous mental problems are genetic/environment based,but i am not schizophrenic.he may or may not be schizophrenic,but certainly his mother's illness affected him some way,somehow.my dad was diagnosed as schizophrenic,but during the time i knew him as a child,he was very loving and kind to me--i loved him more than anyone in the world.he died young,age 45,i was 7.i still miss him so much.there are diff kinds of schizophrenia,and varying degrees of it.schizophrenic doesn't neccessarily mean sociopathic.a good psychiatrist can explain this illness best.

Thanks you two! I am sorry luvdogs, that you lost your dad so young. I don't necessarily think he is schizo. His mom is paranoid schizo, but I do think he needs some therapy, and so does our marriage counselor. She actually told him to secure a personal therapist because he needs it, and he told me that she said he needs it to deal with me! I called our marriage therapist today and told her if she did not see us this week I was filing for separation. I told her what he said, and she told me that she told him he needs help on his own. I know this is a struggle for all of us. I am just so glad to be able to talk to people who don't put me down or think I am crazy. I know I am, I just am able to admit it!

[madisgram]

yes it sounds like he really needs some professional help. but since he's an adult he can refuse unless he is a threat to himself or others. so glad you have a therapist...way to go!!..if he won't get help, he leaves you fewer options. that separation sounds good to me for your own sanity!...and your own safety. i hope things work out for you. you sound like a caring person but at wits end. there's a lot of support here for you too. take care. you deserve good things in your life. let's hope he'll 'waKe up" and figure that he's got nothing to lose by seeking a professional's opinion. (secretly he may fear he has sz like his mom).

[Eleora]

It sounds to me like his past, dealing with his mother as a child and you mentioned abuse, has made him dependent on attention, affirmation and affection, with perhaps a fear of abandonment. It makes me think more along the lines of a personality disorder than psychosis.

I definitely think therapy would be beneficial, whether it's solo therapy for him or marital counseling.

[Doesitend?]

Originally Posted by girlbassplayer

It sounds to me like his past, dealing with his mother as a child and you mentioned abuse, has made him dependent on attention, affirmation and affection, with perhaps a fear of abandonment. It makes me think more along the lines of a personality disorder than psychosis.

I definitely think therapy would be beneficial, whether it's solo therapy for him or marital counseling.

Funny, he is a bassplayer and a drummer! Something has clicked a switch, and even our friends notice it. We are scheduled for conjoint therapy, AGAIN, and that therapist has asked him to get a solo therapist, but he has not moved on that. We all know how we can go into denial that NOTHING is wrong with us...I am in therapy weekly again, and I am finally going to conquer my demons! I am determined! He can heal himself or not. I have a daughter to raise and an obligation to her to raise her responsibly with or without him!