[VerbalL]

VERBAL LEXAPRO

“Verbal Lexapro” has been my stage name for a number of years now. My friends would call me “Savvy” because of my overall well-roundedness and know-how in the technical field of computers and software. Although I felt that the original name was right on point, I was still eager to come up with something that would represent my new love for hip hop. I remember looking through the dictionary trying to find an alias that would suit my character and style of emceeing. I wasn’t expecting that an actual life-altering event would help me manifest what would become my new name.

I was prescribed Lexapro back in 2006 by my psychiatrist after being hospitalized for severe stress and depression during finals week in SUNY Albany. I was in the campus library reading a textbook on communication theory when the words in the book started to make me feel guilty for leaving my family behind in Queens to pursue an education in Albany. I left before someone could sense what I was thinking and somehow hold me accountable for it. The air was thick and suffocating when I got back to my dorm room. One of my suitemates was playing a hip hop song in the background. The song felt like it was operating at the same frequency as my anxiety.

I realized then that I was having flashbacks of my life’s choices adding to the guilt that I was already feeling. Regrets of not studying harder and managing my time better. I could hear the host of the prank television show Punk’d, which was on in the background at the time. I felt like I was the one who was a part of some sort of cosmic joke. The heaviness of these emotions made me drop to the floor. The doctors would later say that I was having auditory and visual hallucinations, but that’s not what I considered it. I felt an inner-consciousness was beginning to unlock in my mind.

I called my parents to take me home and they would ultimately take me to the hospital. I was home listening to Jeru the Damaja’s “Can’t stop the Prophet” feeling like the lyrics were speaking to me personally. The lyrics in the song described Jeru’s battle with jealousy, anger, envy and ignorance. My mother walked into the room and told me to get ready but I didn’t think to ask where we were going. Before I could realize what was happening, we were at Elmhurst Hospital psychiatric center for an evaluation.

After the evaluation, I was admitted to the psychiatric unit where I was given a course of medication that made me feel like I was an animal. One of which was Lexapro, the drug that I am on to this very day, an antidepressant that kills anxiety; and I feel that the calming atmosphere of my lyrics and my demeanor has a similar effect on people and listeners. They say a good writer writes what they know: “Lexapro” is the remedy, “Verbal” is the medium of communication and “Verbal Lexapro” is my cure, or remedy, for life’s interpersonal and internal struggles.

Going on antidepressants would soon shift my writing focus to something much more personal, and in my opinion, more beneficial to society. It has given me something deeper to write about and has helped me connect with people and myself on a more personal level. Today I have been an active performer at The Art of Lyrics showcase at Camaradas in the El Barrio section of Manhattan and have digitally released an album under the name Verbal Lexapro.

I feel that we don’t need prescribed medication all the time, but rather another vessel to channel ourselves. What we truly need is solidarity and a strong support system or cast of mentors who speak to those going through painful times.

I am Verbal Lexapro. I write to uplift and help those in the struggle emotionally, spiritually and physically. My function is for others to listen to my message and I promise the positive results can be found without the side effects of medication.

[healingme4me]

Thanks for your positive energy.

Welcome to PC!

Congrats, call me autistic Lexapro because that's about all it did for me. **** it. You can steal that lyric.