[miss wanderlust]

I’m in 8th grade in high school and I think I might have a mental illness (SCHIZOPHRENIA) or is it just me being delusional? In schizophrenics, apparently the voices are more common then the hallucinations (this may not be true, don’t hold me to it) but I’ve been experiencing ‘reality distortions’ for over 4 years. These are figures that I know are trying to hurt me. (apart from that pink dancing dinosaur I saw once. Pretty sure that wasn’t going to hurt me) They are sometimes armed, sometimes unarmed, but I know they want to hurt me. Over time they became less ‘Shadow people’ and more detailed which confuses me still, because I’m never sure if they’re real or not and that just spikes my anxiety and paranoia. Also with the hearing distortions (don’t know if schizophrenics hear things apart from voices, but I do.) There’s little things like draws opening, cupboards opening and shutting, doors being opened/closed, glass cups being moved around, and when I was a little younger I used to think it was a ghost, which is ultimately when the paranoia and anxiety peaked and it hasn’t come down yet. (If that makes sense.) Also, intense anxiety and I’m very paranoid. Every night (for the past four years) I’ve either convinced myself that it’s a ghost or a burglar. There is no in between. Also I’ve been having these more-disturbing-than-usual thoughts. I’m convinced someone is going to come into my house and kill me, but I get time to change into something pretty or whatever conceited delusion I have. With the voices side of things, I’ve only heard two to this day. It was a woman whispering to me, ‘I love you’ and my name. These both occurred at separate times. I am also obsessed with self diagnosing, which, even I can tell, is extremely self destructive, because I think, at every chance, I’m going to die from an unknown disease//disease with no cure. Slight problem though. As much as I said about thinking I have schizophrenia, I also find it unfathomable to comprehend. I was told I should get a psych evaluation by my guidance counsellor, and I shook my head violently and internally had an anxiety attack and spent the rest of the day trying to find out if you can be committed from schizophrenia. Problem 2. When you’re me, and you develop strange emotional connections to strange things (such as a coin, if I’m holding on to it for too long. Also hoarding isn’t an issue for me, I have no problem later discarding things I know I’m not going to need.) I have developed a slight emotional connection to the hallucinations and don’t want to seek help in case of losing them. Please let me know if this is something I should seek help for, or if I’m delusional and it’s a little bit of anxiety and hormones. (because hormones in the fourth grade makes sense to me)

[Skeezyks]

Hi miss wanderlust: I just replied to your introductory post as well. I really think you need to be evaluated by a psychologist & /or psychiatrist. Since you're still so young I would presume this is something your parent(s) will need to help you with.

Realistically, there's no way for any of us, here on PC, to really tell you what's going on with you. Yes, much of this does sound similar to schizophrenia. But that that doesn't make it so. High levels of anxiety can also have a lot of dramatic effects on a person particularly someone as young as yourself. Only skilled mental health professionals are going to be in a position to help you figure out what's really going on & what to do about it.

I know you wrote you've developed a slight emotional attachment to your delusions. And I don't think that's unusual. But it is something you'll need to avoid keeping you from seeking the help you need. So please do reach out for the help you need. People are not committed nowadays as a result of having schizophrenia... or any other mental illness for that matter... unless they are a danger to themselves or others. I wish you well. (Please keep posting here on PC too!)

[miss wanderlust]

Any idea on how to bring my parents on board for this? When I was depressive, I told them I wanted to talk to someone because I was scared of myself, and they laughed at me and said i was crazy and dumb for being like that. Obviously I removed emotion, thus making my life easier (totally recommend it, complete stress relief, however procrastination increases and motivation drops largely, but you don't care so it's good ) and I used to wake them up religiously every night before they threatened to send me off to the mental ward, so any fun tips i could use?

Thanks!

[johnnydepth]

I don't know where you are from.
But I am pretty sure there are helplines and local physical places that coild advise you on what to do and or help you without you having to go-to a mental ward or without you having to seek a social worker which may feel awkward to you and your parents may change towards you.
I personally believe they are more in denial and also may not understand the true depth of the problem if there is one.