[joshuas-mommy]

How come schizotypicals are unable to realize that other people have vulnerabilities just like themselves? Additionally, they are not really attempting to look for other people whom are like themselves because they only scope out the potential friend arena in a superical manner. This really is not helping them find anyone that they can relate to and/or empathize with. Furthermore, they are so easy to spot becaue they find it amusing that other people have personal inadequecies just like they do and the schizotypical is unable to realize that this is why it satifies their sadistic sense of humor.

How come no one ever tells the schizotypical that they do not have to pretend like they are somone that they are not to make superficial friendships? I think that someone should tell them that it is better to have someone dislike you for who you are than to like you for someone you are not. That way they might attempt to find people that they can relate to and/or have similar ways of relating to the world around them.

[Travelinglady]

Unfortunately the nature of their personality prevents them from having these insights and from changing their behavior very easily, would be my response.......

[Kendyll]

You make it sound like we do it on purpose and that we understand what we're doing is wrong.

We're on the inside and everything that goes on out there can just be a mystery. I know that nobody liked me if I was just myself. I was too weird and they didn't understand and made fun of me. I only got some friends when I decided not to be me anymore, and to be more like them. Of course, I couldn't get that right because I was trying to be someone I wasn't...And, yeah, it was nice to see all those popular people fail once in a while because all I ever did was fail in their eyes, like they were better than me.

I didn't understand why I was so different and why nobody could understand me and why nobody liked me. I didn't understand why nothing outside my head made any sense against what was inside my head. For a long time, I preferred my head to the company of other people because I didn't understand them and they wouldn't just leave me alone. When I did decide to be like them, they liked me better but I didn't understand why I was doing the things they did. But as long as I acted like them, they accepted me better (until they really got to know me, then I was weird all over again).

I've had enough therapy and medication that I can be pretty "normal" nowadays. I have gone back to being myself, but only with a lot of training in "how to act" around other people. They AREN'T going to understand most of what goes through my head, but now i understand that they don't need to know about all that. I have a few people who really know and understand and accept me, and a bunch of other people who accept that I'm just different and they work with me and support me.

[feliscatus]

Hello, I struggle with how to know where to draw lines between what is really being me versus courtesy and the needs/comforts of others. Where does one go to get training in how to act in public/around people, tailored to one's abilities?

Originally Posted by Kendyll

You make it sound like we do it on purpose and that we understand what we're doing is wrong.

We're on the inside and everything that goes on out there can just be a mystery. I know that nobody liked me if I was just myself. I was too weird and they didn't understand and made fun of me. I only got some friends when I decided not to be me anymore, and to be more like them. Of course, I couldn't get that right because I was trying to be someone I wasn't...And, yeah, it was nice to see all those popular people fail once in a while because all I ever did was fail in their eyes, like they were better than me.

I didn't understand why I was so different and why nobody could understand me and why nobody liked me. I didn't understand why nothing outside my head made any sense against what was inside my head. For a long time, I preferred my head to the company of other people because I didn't understand them and they wouldn't just leave me alone. When I did decide to be like them, they liked me better but I didn't understand why I was doing the things they did. But as long as I acted like them, they accepted me better (until they really got to know me, then I was weird all over again).

I've had enough therapy and medication that I can be pretty "normal" nowadays. I have gone back to being myself, but only with a lot of training in "how to act" around other people. They AREN'T going to understand most of what goes through my head, but now i understand that they don't need to know about all that. I have a few people who really know and understand and accept me, and a bunch of other people who accept that I'm just different and they work with me and support me.

[Kendyll]

I actually ended up in AA. The people there were very nice, and some of them were willing to help me and be my friends. They would tell me when I was being inappropriate, or when I was going off in left field. They would remind me to think about other people. They let me be myself, and just taught me more about social cues. Then I moved and got good neighbors who were willing to put up with my weirdness and help me tone it down. I still don't have it right, but I have it better. I got really lucky that there were people out there who were willing to show me how to carry myself around "normal" people.

[Pond]

This is what I feel like saying in social situations "I know what you said, I just don't know what you mean" I have no idea how to interact with people, so I just copy who ever I'm with. Is there a real me? I don't think so and that my friends is paranoia. I think people can tell I'm not "real". This gives me a great deal of anxiety, so I avoid meeting the same people more than once. If I want to maintain a "friendship" I have to recount our conversations over and over to make sure I act the same way each time. It is terrifying and overwhelming. Mostly I can't do it. I don't have any friends. Maybe with medication, but it's a struggle.

Pond.

[jan16th]

I do not have any "friends" and gave up the quest to find them a ways back. People are like robots to me in which I simply interact with. My real friends are animals. Dogs in particular. The social games people play and the "cues" that are given out are things I have a lot of trouble with and so I avoid social gatherings alltogether and am rather content on being alone.

[deelooted]

Originally Posted by jan16th

I do not have any "friends" and gave up the quest to find them a ways back. People are like robots to me in which I simply interact with. My real friends are animals. Dogs in particular. The social games people play and the "cues" that are given out are things I have a lot of trouble with and so I avoid social gatherings alltogether and am rather content on being alone.

I relate with this so much! Thanks for sharing this I feel exactly that, and most of my anxiety comes from having to put on the fake face of "I care" when around other people, especially at work. Truth is, I don't!

I am severe bipolar, so close to schizotypal behavior, at least that is the opinion of a pdoc I saw in the past, and a psychiatrist friend of mine. Looking introspectively it makes sense to me, too.

[joshuas-mommy]

I think that my ex-boyfriend was schizotypal and he was abusive to me. He only cared about what he could get from me.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy

I think that my ex-boyfriend was schizotypal and he was abusive to me. He only cared about what he could get from me.

Schizotypals aren't a personality type known for abusive behavior really. It's usually Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Psychopaths that get all the "they're EVIL" talk.

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

Schizotypals aren't a personality type known for abusive behavior really. It's usually Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Psychopaths that get all the "they're EVIL" talk.

He was also an extreme narcissist.

[Atypical_Disaster]

I think it would help you far more to post in the partners of people with personality disorders forum. This forum isn't the best place to find the support you need, this forum is for people who actually have Schizotypal personality disorder.

Good luck.

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

I think it would help you far more to post in the partners of people with personality disorders forum. This forum isn't the best place to find the support you need, this forum is for people who actually have Schizotypal personality disorder.

Good luck.

I know. I wanted to ask them why they act like that.

[Atypical_Disaster]

If you are trying to get understanding about someone who was highly narcissistic then maybe try the Narcissistic board. A few people post there regularly. Myself included. Schizotypals don't generally have a high level of narcissism like it sounds like was the case with your ex.