[zoechan]

Uhg- I really can't take this whole school thing seriously.
I'm in advanced classes, (so I guess you could say I'm in the back at the top) and they really piss me off sometimes. I honestly feel like if I were stupider, or if I failed/did bad on my tests from the beginning, I would be happier in basic classes. Nothing about the work is more difficult, the teachers just load it up on you and except you to do it all because you're /soooooo smart and capable/ I'd like to walk up to one of them and straight forwardly tell them what the mountains of work are doing to me, socially, mentally and even physically, because it's not good. I'm 13 for god's sake, and I have up to five pages a day from each of my classes plus an hour a day for band. (Band teacher is a real d-bag, he absolutely hates me and the rest of the drum line.) I can't focus or take anything that the teachers give me seriously. I'd like to ask a guidance counselor to change me to basic, but my parents wouldn't allow it. It's taking it's toll on me, and I fear I may be going down the road I was at a year ago, with the cutting and the wanting to see a doctor and what not. I'm not feeling well, PC, and this is the first time in a long time I've posted here, so I'm not quite sure what to expect. Hope you're all having a good day.

[Satellite]

I go to school too, and I'm in college (I'm a freshman right now), and I'm in one of the best schools here in my country... And man, do I feel so left out! When I first knew that I passed the entrance exam I was so excited and eager to study there. But then the people...
I'm not the type who recites in class much, but in high school, I pretty much didn't care if I wasn't listening in class (and I got high grades). But then I'm not in high school anymore. My new classmates are so opinionated, that when I look at my own ideas, I feel incredibly dumb and small. Right now, I'm not loving my school life. And my social life is going down the drain too. They are soo serious with their studies. I don't want to be that serious with my studies. But most of them are that serious. And I think that sucks.
Most of the time during breaks 'my friends' (can't really call them friends yet) talk about nothing else but studies. And I miss high school when you were just chilling. And laughing with friends. Sometimes gossiping. Sometimes not saying anything at all, but still comfortable with the silence. Just talking about whatever comes into mind. Dumb discussion. Nothing about the government policies and all that adult stuff. I hate the pressure that I'm feeling. Because all of my classmates are intelligent, I find it hard to excel. I've never felt so stupid around those ambitious dudes. I am affected mentally, physically (yo-yo-ing weight), socially... and I am losing interest in what I do. Most of the time I wonder what if I chose another school. I already passed other entrance exams, but I chose the best. The best school in the country, but maybe not for me.
You're still thirteen, and you've got a lot of things to learn still. You'll meet many people that would help you with what you're feeling right now. In high school, I met my true friends, and up to now, we're still constantly talking on the phone and texting. I'll give myself time to adjust, since I know that I'm not the type who warms up easily to anybody. Give yourself sometime too. Be proud that you are in advanced classes, not many are 'smart' enough to be where you are now. I'm trying to be proud of myself too, you know, trying to create a positive mindset. Let's be proud of ourselves.

[Fresia]

Zoechan,

Is there a counselor or therapist you can talk to or even your folks? I would make a point to let them know that you are feeling overwhelmed and some of the other things that are going on. You clearly know your warning signs and have the opportunity to take action to help yourself before it goes to far. It is good to pay attention to these things but you have to let others know too.

Hang in there in the meantime, and please talk to someone.
Take good care of yourself,
-Fresia

[nvr_mnd]

I know what you mean. My teachers have talked to me so many times about me failing their class because I simply don't do any of the assigned work and then maintain an A/B testing average. It's infuriating to me that they realize I can grasp the material and then fail me because I didn't need to do the 3 hours of tedious repetition they assigned me on a given night. There's a documentary that came out recently called "Race to Nowhere" that's about how kids are being pushed too hard to succeed, and I'm really hoping it'll make something change, even though it most likely won't.

Unfortunately this mindset is probably going to get me nowhere so I wouldn't recommend following it much further, but I know the feeling you're describing and I wish I could offer more advice but the best I can do is say hang in there and hope for the best.