unsupportive parents.

before i start, i'm aware of the education differences between america and england so this could get a little confusing for people who aren't from the UK!

basically i'm at sixth form (it's where you stay on at school to get more advanced qualifications) and my parents are unbelievably unsupportive about it. my dad keeps telling me to quit because i'm getting nowhere and my mum tells me i'll never get to university. i don't understand because my brother is at university now and he got all the opposite treatment! it's like they use all their support on him and just toss me to the side.

i was at college (not university, the place you can go which is in between school and uni) last year doing a course that wasn't right for me. so i quit and started sixth form. now my parents have got it into their heads that i'm nothing but a drop out and not as good as my brother because he was successful at college and is being successful at uni. but i'm doing art, english literature, english language and psychology - quite a lot, right? all he did was "acting". don't get me wrong, me and my brother get on nicely but i've got tonnes more work to do than he had, and my parents reckon it's just because i'm not as dedicated as him because every now and then i hand in coursework late etc. i just need them to tell me to not give up and be supportive, because right now they're making me think they're right - that i'm going to fail and there's no point. what can i do to make them just stop beating me down all the time? i've tried talking to them about it, but it just turns into an argument.

I'm sorry your family isn't supportive! Sometimes it doesn't matter how much you talk to them, they won't listen. Are you financially dependent on them?

Iam sorry big hugs dont quit do what you gotta do to pass

thank you everyone. i'm not financially dependent on them, i have a job although it's only a day a week so they buy food etc.

Hi 0171292,

I think in this case it sounds like you're going to have to rely on yourself What is motivating you to go to the 6th form? Do you have any career plans? Maybe if your parents can see you've got an aim, they might leave you alone for a bit. Are you in lower or upper 6th? If you do as well as you want in your AS levels, you'll have something to show them then. And your results are tangible too, because you can apply to uni with them. Your parents might not complain so much when you can say you've got offers from several unis, lol. Can you get your brother to support your plan to go to uni?

What subject do you want to study at uni?

Y'know what my aunt and uncle told me when I said I was going to grad school? "Why don't you stop putting money into the system and get out and start making money for yourself."

No congrats. No nothing. Sheer pity at me for being so stupid as to continue with school. I tried to explain that I am not putting any money in anything. Actually they waive my tuition and pay me salary on top of that. But that didn't matter to them. Anyone who went past a bachelors or even high school (that wasn't becoming a medical doctor or lawyer) was just dumb to them.

I just decided to say screw them. I'm a first generation college student and a lot of my family thinks that going to college makes you hoity toity and on a different level. Like I'm forgetting my roots or something. So you have to just be confident in what you want.

In addition....I'm in school for Entomology. No one in my family understands how I could love working with insects. But, to me, it's fun and interesting. My family doesn't really understand it. My immediate family makes sure to tell me that they're proud but I can't really talk to them about it. In fact.....they were kind of weary about me continuing....but now my brother says he wants to go back to school and my sister wants to complete her bachelors! They told me that they thought it was impossible but seeing me succeed has inspired them to go back to school!

So you never know. They could watch your growth and success and be inspired themselves! Also, it will mean so much more to you when you finish and you can say to yourself 'I did this all by myself'. I watch these kids whos parents pay for their school and basically hand them an education....they don't appreciate it. While I might be 80,000 in debt....but I can truly say "I did this myself" and it feels so good!

Whatever happens, stay true to yourself. You can do it and you can do it well! You have everyone here to support you and hopefully your brother can stick up for you too. Do what you have to do to be happy!

Maybe find some others at school who are having similar problems with their parents or find something on your school's web site that gives positive projections that you can share with your parents or words you can use to use to boost your own hope and inspiration?

I know that feeling. My parents don't support me either. I'm a big failure to them.
But you have to think positive, because if you love what you're doing than don't
quit. Try to ignore parents, maybe you'll be successful at that, cause I'm not.

0171292- I feel you need to speak your mind. Communicating with your family regarding a subject you feel is important to you will bring more awareness to them. Hopefully from there, you can feel better about the situation at hand.
If you don't receive the response you want, just keep doing what you do best. Even though they are your parents and brother, you are entitled to do what you want, when you want, and how you want.

Best of luck!

You might not see this message, but how are things going now? I'll talk to you tonight, hopefully.