I don't want to repeat the year!

Hey all. I missed most of the school in January and the beginning of February cause I was ill and then I had an overdose. I'm on a reduced timetable and I find it hard to get to school and do my work and I'm constantly panicking because I've missed so much and have to catch up.

Then my dad told me that he and my mum were planning to go and see my head of year at school and see if I can repeat the year. I broke down in tears and said I didn't want to repeat the year. This is my last year of secondary school and there's so much pressure and I need and want to get into college but my attendance is not that good. I've only got 11 weeks left of school then the exams start.

I just so do not want to repeat the year, I've done so much already and I don't want to be left behind and I won't even have any friends if I do. I'm just really scared now, and it doesn't help the pressure on me. There's a half-term coming up and I'm going to try and go back to school full-time but I feel like I'm all alone with mountains of work and I have minimal encouragement from my parents. It's just really hard.

Sorry for being so ranty!

Not ranty at all, glad you posted. Mine is about to become a long one however.... sorry for that upfront.

First off. Give yourself a lot of credit for coming through all you have and are still moving forward. I admire your perserverence and I hope you are doing much better now.

It can be daunting after missing school, the work that gets placed before us. Little by little we can tackle it, it will become manageable, and eventually get us caught back up. Sometimes bringing in a tutor can help with this or a parent acting as one works really well to help guide us so we are not just left to figure it all out on our own at a stage like this. Bringing the work home to make-up what was missed also helps so we can do it at our own pace, then turn it back into the school for grading and have times/dates scheduled for any testing.

If you are certain you do not want to repeat the year, something I would imagine can be worked out with the school to get the needed assignments and then to your parent(s) or a tutor for you to work on. It may need to be completed in addition to the normal school work but would allow you to make progress towards the goal of not having to repeat it. A schedule can be set up for each week so it is not so overwhelming of what needs to done each week.

If this is what you want, talk to your parents, then to the school, and you won't know until you try. However, if you don't feel that you are up to it just yet, which is understandable too, waiting to take on this work when you have your mental and physical strength back, is a good plan too despite the fact it means waiting a year. When you are stronger, you could be better prepared and life made easier.

There are options, but what do you feel up to at this point? If it were me, (and it was in the past), I would be more concerned right now about what I thought I could do, and make a decision based on that. The school year is not over yet, and next year will come when it does, I would ask, what am I capable of doing now? If up to it, go for it, tell them you want to take steps to do the work and try to complete this year. If not feeling up to it, this is wise as well to know what is best for our overall health and do what we can when we are in a better position; it will be alright either way, really!

Hoping the very best for you! Take good care of yourself in the meantime.

Understand your pain. Imagine I am in the same boat. I'm in college and haven't missed a day. Yet I have a teacher who doesn't teach and when the exam comes I am lost I have no earthly idea where she is gleaning material from. I feel like the world's biggest idiot and I may have to take this stupid class over again through no fault of my own. She wants us to think outside of the box I'm told. I almost interpret it as meaning different than the written instructions she has handed out.

I know the school systems are very different between the states and England....I know that in certain circumstances, semesters can be totally wiped from your record. I had a friend do this, however, it was in college. My friend had a death in the family that sent him into a deep depression. He ended up missing a lot of school and got incompletes for Fs in every class. His dad wrote a letter stating what the death in the family did to his son (my friend) and the registrar dropped the semester from his record so that it wouldn't effect his GPA. He had to take the classes over again but it didn't effect his grades.

Also, something you need to remember is that, when colleges are looking at your transcripts and they see a semester or year that is totally out of the ordinary they will give you the benefit of the doubt. Like if you are an A, B student and all of the sudden you have a ton of tardies or absences and Ds across the board, and then the next year your grades are back up and your attendance is better it's obvious that there was something during that year that affected you a lot and made school very difficult.

Worst case scenario you could be put on a waiting list or something and maybe you could speak directly with the dean? There are always ways to get back on track and there are always people who want to help you and see you turn your life around. Don't get too discouraged!

Can you get a tutor to help you catch up? I had a hard time in a class and my teacher had my parents get me a tutor and I didn't want/think I needed one but it was one of the best experiences I've ever had in my life. It was another person, older than I was and more sure and changed my perspective on my life as well as helping me with the course. See if your parents will get you a tutor or counselor to help you work on catching up; maybe you won't have to do the entire year or can figure out a unique alternative that will fit for you and get you back on a track you understand and feel better about than the difficult time you're having now?

stephc
I understand your pain completely. I was in my final year at uni last year, which I am repeating this year because I was unable to finish. I went through 2-3 weeks of intense debate whether I should push it - I would have mentoring support, support from my lecturers, other students etc - and I really wanted to graduate with my friends!! The plan had always been to finish in 2010, not 2011. But then I realised that it wouldn't have been worth it. I wouldn't be able to do as well as I wanted, I wouldn't even enjoy it, let alone the risks of not recovering from being ill. Although I think I should say that I wasn't even on the way of recuperating yet - my goal was still to 'survive' each day.

Anyway, my point is, try to think what is best for YOU - which means a compromise perhaps between what you need and what you want...I was dreading that 'extra' year, with people I had never met while my friends were getting jobs or going onto postgraduate studies, but now I am so glad I repeated the year - I work so much better, my life is shaped differently, but I am really happy the way things turned out, and about things that I wouldn't even have in my life if I had finished last year! And it means that when I finish I can start a masters without feeling completely burnt out - a step 'backwards' can sometimes help in stepping forwards

Just keep an open mind, try to break down the 'reality' of each situation, and how the stresses of each option affect your health...Maybe discuss it with your therapist?
I hope your parents will support you if you want to carry on - maybe tell them there is no harm in trying? Give it a go until Easter and if it's all too much then make the decision to repeat?

I hope this was helpful and I apologise if any of it came out somehow wrong (I don't know the particulars of your story or how schools work...)

Take care dear