[Fresia]

.......as 'freaking out ' was already taken....., class has not started well, I see problems left and right with it: from the prof, the course, and my abilities (feeling more than stupid, just don't get it at all), then the issues to that come with taking it condensed in the summer, not much time to get help. I have this feeling of dread and chills that I cannot shake. There will be repercussions if I drop it, not just financial.

No matter which way I turn, I can't get to a decision that lets me shake these chills and this overhwelmed/doom feeling. I guess I have to find the lesser of the evils. I need sleep but it's keeping me up and have to decide something soon if it means dropping it.

In the meantime, I'll go tomorrow, see what happens and perhaps that will help the decision making process. I haven't had this feeling in a awhile and seems stupid on one hand over classes but I don't know which concerns me more the feeling or the class now. Perhaps I am getting sick.

Hello, Fresia. Have you considered talking to the professor about your concerns? He/she may have some ideas that are useful.

[Fresia]

Today in class was worse. I did talk to the prof. He recommended not taking it in the summer, as he "likes to think of his class as an advanced class", even though it's not, and that, "Good students make it through his classes." Yeah well, my gut is telling me to drop it. I talked to my advisor too. He suggested sticking it out for two reasons though, 1. one for the exposure to the material and that I will be better off, heaven forbid I have to retake it, as I would have picked up some of the material this time through, less to do next time; and 2, it might turn out better than I think. He assured me and I checked with the registrar too that grades here are replaced by the better of the two, unlike the last school which averaged them, so there is no harm except possibly to financial aide, which could be a big concern if the class is not passed. I am calling financial aide tomorrow to find out what happens if I were to drop at this point versus what happens if I don't pass it; pessimistic I know, but realistically I need to know my options to rest easier.

I realized about being sick, I'm not just stressed so saw the doc. I do have a fever and have a kidney stone which explains the chills and a lot more; trying to laugh, been so stressed with so much going on, not paying attention to the obvious. Silly me, been trying to pull a rabbit out of the hat again.