It's not fair!

I feel like this is the story of my life. I work my *** off and someone else beats me at something. I know I shouldn't be resentful but I am to an extent. I work so hard and see these kids that do nothing and their parents pay their way through college. Yet I'm here working 50 hrs a week through my BS. Things like that...

Well this girl (she is in my lab) beat me out on an outstanding masters student award. I hold 2 officer positions in our club (secretary and outreach coordinator) so I work closely with schools in the area to do outreach with kids and at the farmers market etc... I have gotten 1 B since I have been here, the rest are A's. I am on our "trivia" team at our national meeting as well as our debate team. I have TAed a class and got awesome remarks from both students and the prof. I had over 2.5 years of lab/field experience in science before coming here.

This girl....never shows up to our lab. She admitted to me that she just started writing her thesis like 3 mos ago (she was supposed to be finished in May). She never participates in any outreach AT ALL. She got a B in the class our major adviser taught!!!! (as well as a few others). She has no teaching experience, no publications, no previous experience.

I DON'T GET IT! Why?! How hard do I have to work to get some damn recognition?! Even if I never put my name in the ring, the fact that she is prob the least productive person in the dept.....ANYONE else deserves it over her. I can't explain how hurt/sad/angry/upset I am right now. I HATE OFFICE POLITICS!

Maybe she's blowing her own trumpet (or someone else's )

Oh my, I am so sorry!! As for politics, and other shenanigans, such as the darn trumpets as Flooded mentions, you never know what's going on behind the scenes but doesn't change not getting this. Your achievements and the person that you are speak for themselves, fools not to honor that. My hat is off to you. Be kind to yourself right now; you deserve the best.

I spoke with my adviser today and it seems that the general consensus is that I will get it next year. She has done more talks than me and that's the only reason. And then when I spoke with one of my lab mates he said that, bc she doesn't do as much as me, our adviser prob wrote her an AWESOME letter just so that his students get some kind of award y'know?

I'm calm now. I was just upset that it seems like politics rule the world and, if I would have to push students through that I didn't think have it...I couldn't be in academia. Our dept has several examples of this, not just her. And it's bc we are always under threat of being dissolved into another dept bc we don't have very many students. So people who, in a bigger dept, would have been kicked out or not gotten an award....will get one here bc they have to to keep the dept alive. One on hand I get it but I can't decide if the end justifies the means on this one. Someone getting the same degree as me while doing 1/10 of the work I did kind of negates my degree (IMO). I would rather work hard to be competitive in a different dept than work hard to not get what I deserve.

Sounds like it is sort of like the professional ice skating where the "senior" skaters get to "win" no matter how good the ones coming up after them are? If she's supposed to have graduated, it sounds like the first/last award she'll get.

When I get upset like that about others, I drop the whole thing and remind myself why I am working (for Me, not awards/politics I may/may not get) and what sort of woman I want to be, regardless of what the "world" says.

I am glad you learned you probably will get it next year (and hopefully this chick will be gone by then!). Something nice to look forward to.

Thanks, Perna. I do have to remind myself that I'm here because I love teaching and helping people and I really enjoy the work I do. If this kind of thing becomes consistent I will just learn that maybe a university setting isn't for me. There are plenty of careers that will allow me to work with kids while doing research or anything outdoors. I know I just have to not let it bother me so much.

I kinda been in a similar situation with people stealing another's thunder, or swooping in and taking credit for showing less work.
Sometimes that happens because the ones in charge know you are very capable so they give credit to another whom is less capable to try to bring out the best in someone.
Its a technique used by some. Its not fair at all, but you just keep doing what you do best and you will get you're reward for hard work.

I hope this helped.
Take care
Keep up the good work.

"Even if I never put my name in the ring"

Im not trying to suck or anything...
But.. Do you think this might have had something to do with it....?

I AIN'T JUDGIN', I'M JUST SAYIN'.