Need input please!

I'm in an MSW program but am in great danger of dismissal after 2 F's and an I this semester, following a semester with 2 I's and 1 ok grade. I've reviewed academic policies and am seeking a change of the F's to W's. I have to include an explanation of appeal and really crave feedback on it: is it too long? Should have different wording or focus? Should I start or end it differently, what's an appropriate way to sign it?

"I would like to appeal my grades of "F" in favor of "W" due to extenuating circumstances. I have struggled with clinical depression for most of my life ( MAYBE REPHRASE OR OMIT THIS? EMPHASIZE THAT YOUR DEPRESSION MAKES YOU A MORE EMPATHIC COUNSELOR ) but have chosen to fight the urge to give up completely or to simply accept living on disability [/BOLD] INSERT COMMA [/BOLD] by pursuing academic degrees in a field which I believe is an appropriate fit for me. However, my efforts have been hindered for some time now by insufficient support and medication. Due to difficulty in friendships resulting from contributing factors to my depression I am very prone to isolation. Although I have a person who knows me and my struggles - my pastor who is also a licensed counselor - who I can go to, when I sought his help earlier this semester I found he had too many responsibilities to assist me at that time (WITHDRAWAL TIME?). I continued to remain isolated as my stress grew as I could not manage my coursework and was left attempting to make sense in my own depressed mind. Even though Professor _____ was very helpful with assignment deadlines due to my expressed struggle with depression I could not manage to make any progress in coursework. I became mentally "stuck", having great difficulty focusing on the work through the stress and my increasingly depressed thinking.

I felt my medication was likely in need of adjustment, but I greatly feared this because I have never had significant changes made outside of a hospitalized setting due to the severity and medicine resistance of my depression; I had certainly not had changes made in the kind of isolation I have been living in, alone in an apartment with sporadic outside interaction. I feared the entire thought of seeking psychiatric help; my primary care physician would not be able to address my needs and I had no current psychiatrist, so I would have to use the (CMH) where I would feel [/BOLD] wary[/BOLD] of running into clients or coworkers from my part-time job, or classmates or faculty from school. If I saw a psychiatrist on an outpatient basis I feared myself if the medicine was not a good fit on the first try because I have a history - five years ago - of suicide attempts (MAY BE IRRELEVANT, TOO LONG AGO?). However, I also feared the effects of an inpatient stay on my student status and my job, as well as my housing because I live on campus and have no current prospects on other housing. I could see no good options and had no one to help me see other options or better explore these ones.

Finally, as the end of the semester rapidly approached and my stress grew to breaking point, my depression (JUST SAY GREW WORSE?) took on all symptoms including suicidal ideation, I went to the (CMH) in desperation. They offered me the option of partial hospitalization, allowing me to receive psychiatric attention and attend supportive groups from 8:30am to 4pm weekdays, which I did Thursday, August 4th through Thursday, August 11th. I was able to have my medicine adjusted to what feels like a much better fit and feel great relief among supportive people. I have found myself again able to focus on completing coursework and building supports to prevent a re-occurrence (ELIMINATE DASH).

I believe these circumstances merit an exception because this depression is a serious, incapacitating and at times possibly life-threatening illness. Unlike physical illnesses it is made all the more insidious by [/BOLD] its[/BOLD] inherent effect on thoughts; it leaves me feeling fear and shame at the prospect of seeking help despite knowing it is not my fault; my difficulties are caused by the illness. Failing the two classes was directly the result of insufficiently managed depression, insufficiently managed due to [/BOLD] its [/BOLD] own nature and my living circumstances."
Thanks!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Taonuviel

"I would like to appeal my grades of "F" in favor of "W" due to extenuating circumstances. I am diagnosed with clinical depression but have chosen to fight the urge to give up completely or to simply accept living on disability(not so sure about a comma here?) by pursuing academic degrees in a field which I believe is an appropriate fit for me due to the empathy I have developed through my own disadvantages. However, my efforts have been hindered for some time now by insufficient support and medication. Due to difficulty in friendships resulting from contributing factors to my depression I am very prone to isolation. Although I have a person who knows me and my struggles - my pastor who is also a licensed counselor - who I can go to, when I sought his help earlier this semester I found he had too many responsibilities to assist me at that time (WITHDRAWAL TIME?). (No, simply an earlier time when, had I been able to resolve things at that time as I did too late, I would have been able to complete my work)
...
... I feared the entire thought of seeking psychiatric help; my primary care physician would not be able to address my needs and I had no current psychiatrist, so I would have to use the (CMH) where I would feel wary of running into clients or coworkers from my part-time job, or classmates or faculty from school. If I saw a psychiatrist on an outpatient basis I feared myself if the medicine was not a good fit on the first try because I have a history - five years ago - of suicide attempts (MAY BE IRRELEVANT, TOO LONG AGO?).(The history of suicide attempts is why I feared trying to have my meds adjusted outpatient.)
...
Finally, as the end of the semester rapidly approached and my stress grew to breaking point, my depression (JUST SAY GREW WORSE?) ( hmm, yeah, this doesn't sound right, but I want to emphasize that it was really severe and immobilizing, seriously, I fit every single symptom at that time. Not sure what to say) took on all symptoms including suicidal ideation, I went to the (CMH) in desperation. They offered me the option of partial hospitalization, allowing me to receive psychiatric attention and attend supportive groups from 8:30am to 4pm weekdays, which I did Thursday, August 4th through Thursday, August 11th. I was able to have my medicine adjusted to what feels like a much better fit and feel great relief among supportive people. I have found myself again able to focus on completing coursework and building supports to prevent a re-occurrence (ELIMINATE DASH).(Spell check said it's not a word without the dash)


1. I'm going to try to apply some minor proofreading changes above, like the its don't need an apostrophe. I put [/bold] around some changes but it doens't seem to be taking .
2. Oh - I was thinking these are incompletes you are asking for, but actually they are withdrawals. Maybe you could state what the regular date for withdrawal was, and how it ties in to the above, and where/why you missed it, now that you are looking back on it? - I didn't intend to withdraw, the depression basically immobilized me, so I ended up with F's.
3. It sounds a little like you might become suicidal if THEY don't respond to your liking. I will go back and see if I can identify that, or you can? i did - I won't. Do you think it's the mention of suicide in the past or something else that left you with that impression?
4. I think it's a good letter, but i might not be the best person to ask.