[salukigirl]

I don't friggen get it. This kid in my lab is about at the end of my patience. I don't understand him AT ALL. We are both here for a masters which takes 2 years. Maybe 2.5 to write all the corrections and get your thesis finalized. I am almost done with all my experiments and should be done in May of next year. He got here 6 months before me and is still setting up new plots and doesn't have hardly any data. He is always just in his office reading or writing emails. I never see him doing any experiments at all. Or he will get this idea in his head...begin an experiment and never follow through.

My advisor and dept. head have already asked me to stay for a PhD and have been working on getting me a fellowship so that I won't go elsewhere. Supposedly he went and asked and they asked him to stay, too! What the hell?! This kid does absolutely NOTHING. How are we even close to being at the same level to where they would "love" to have him stay also?!

Not to mention...he has always said he thinks getting a PhD is stupid. He doesn't want a job that requires a PhD. He is only doing it bc he should be done by now and doesn't have a job lined up or anything. But it's not my place to go to my advisor and say I don't think he should stay. But I would seriously reconsider staying here if this kid would be in my lab for at least 4 more years. I just don't know if I could take that.

What am I supposed to do?! Argh!

[Perna]

I would go to your advisor and tell him you "would seriously reconsider staying here if this kid is going to be in my lab for at least 4 more years" and why you feel that way. But, I'd consider too that you may not know the whole story on the guy? How do you know about his project and what data he does/does not have and whether he follows through on what he's doing?

[racee]

please don't have this come across as rude cause its not.

why does he bother you so much? what is it about him that just irks you so.
he is living his own life and doing things his own way, do you know the whole story about him, or only from what you have observed?

does he talk meanly to you? or act rude to you? if not i think you will be able to get through all this.

sometimes theres more to the story than what looks like is going on. have you sat down and talked to him about all he is doing? whats in his head?

you know how good you are and what your worth, you will be able to go on with your studies, cause it's you who you care about in achieving your goals, not him. don't let someone else dictate your feelings.

and who knows maybe he is staying cause he has NOTHING they might be giving him more time. if you REALLY need to know just ask him, can't hurt any?

[salukigirl]

I know about it because he is in my lab. Our offices share a wall. We do field work together. I went out with him the other day to set up his plots that should have been done over a year ago. And once we got there he had no clue of how big he wanted them to be etc... All of this information should have been decided before we ever went to the field.

He is rude in that he is smug. He has traveled all over the world with money he admittedly got from selling drugs. So he hates the food here and complains about it all the time. He hates anything main stream and gives you crap about liking any food that isn't up to par for him. Hates any music that isn't considered intellectual. Argues about semantics if you accidentally slip up and use the wrong word. He will drill you for it for several minutes before shutting up.

And then there are the little things like singing very loudly in the lab all day (he has a crappy voice). He chose the office right next to our work station. I am in forestry and my lab work consists of chopping up logs with a hatchet and a band saw. Then he has the nerve to yell at me for being too loud......there are plenty of other spaces open that he didn't have to choose that space.

If he put half as much time and energy into work as he does into going against the grain he might actually get stuff done. He will take 20 mins out of his day to rattle off excuses or lame reasons as to why he shouldn't have to do a certain homework when he could have just had it done in the time it took him to complain!

I just all around cannot STAND working with him.

[John25]

Does he really interfere with the goals you have set for yourself for the coming 4 years? If not, I would probably try to adjust to the situation as good as possible because you will always meet people in life who will annoy you. You can't change that, you can only change the way you handle it.

[salukigirl]

John - good point. I still get my stuff done. Sometimes he will interfere in that he comes in and bugs me when I'm trying to work. I guess what really irks me is watching someone get the same degree and credentials as me who works 1000 times less than I do. It's aggravating that - because I am who I am - I work harder than almost anyone I know, and I feel not appreciated for it. I feel like - and this may be selfish - that I should get some kind of recognition on top of what he gets simply because I work my *** off day in and day out.

I don't like being complimented the same as a guy who barely breaks a mental sweat on a weekly basis.

[AAAAA]

It sounds to me like he enjoys pushing your buttons. Make your decision based upon your own needs and goals. As John said there will always be someone you find annoying in the workplace. Who knows who you'll end up with if you decide to leave because of him. Could be someone much worse.

Sounds like you need to choose to be content with your own work and progress and not worry so much about him. There will always be people we work with that we wish we didn't have to work with, but we really just have to choose to work our own job and let them work theirs.

[Oxidopamine]

If I were you, I'd stay at the same place to finish the Master's then get the PhD. It seems as though he likes annoying you, although if he usually doesn't interfere when you do your work, it shouldn't matter. Sure he may get the same credentials as you do but remember, like you, he's going to need to apply it and when others realize he's lazy and is not up to par, he'll suffer while you don't.

If you work with him for your Master's, you may not have to work with him for your PhD although he still may be around to pester you. Besides, you got offered the PhD position while he hasn't, so he may not even be around with you much longer.

[Perna]

I know you have several irons in your fire about what you want to do "next"; I'd plot out a few and have that discussion with your advisor so if they really want you, they have to work for you! It's a two-way neighborhood and you don't want this idiot in your environs and looks like you will graduate/go on for your doctorate and he won't be ready? You don't have to get into an argument with the advisor about his work, whether he's "worthy" or not but you do get a vote about who you want to work with and they have to make a decision if they want you or him; they can't have both?

[salukigirl]

He is at it again....

Yesterday I was working with him (we had a nice little chat the other day and cleared the air - or so I thought). And he says that our advisor is letting us down. I asked how he was letting me down. He said that our advisor should have stood up and told me my most recent experiment was "worthless". Yes - he called my experiment worthless.

I told him that it was exploratory and you have to do little things that don't work to know what to test. What I am working on - nobody knows anything about. So everything we do is brand new. Then I told him that it goes both ways and I don't really understand what he is doing and don't get why he does certain experiments but it's not my place to say anything.

I told him that we (our advisor and I) had already talked about it and he told me "that's fine if it doesn't work. I am all about exploratory experiments". This thing took 4 days total and cost no money whatsoever. So, to me, it wasn't a big deal if it didn't work. But he insists that it is "worthless".

I said "aren't you supposed to be done in December?" and he just said "technicalities". I really am just sick of this. If he thinks our advisor is not doing his job and he wants to sit there and talk crap about him - why would he want to stay? Where does he have any right to diss my experiments and tell me what I'm doing doesn't matter? He isn't in our meetings. He doesn't know what we talk about. He has no idea what we are trying to get out of this or the fact that YES I DID FIND SOMETHING NEW.

I told him that, after I calm down, we need to talk and that I have a lot more to say to him. I feel like just writing a letter so I don't forget anything - plus I'm not good with confrontations. But something needs to happen. He is just getting out of control. He is talking crap about everyone - in front of the new students, too. He has no right to say anything about the man getting his funding and paying his paycheck.

I feel like our advisor has a right to know what his own student is saying. I feel like he wouldn't be so ready to take him on as a PhD if he knew the kind of things he was saying to his other students - and about him nonetheless. But I don't know at what point to open my big fat mouth. I am really having trouble seeing the line of where to step in - if stepping in at all is appropriate. Before it wasn't affecting me personally but now he is flat out calling my stuff worthless - and to others that I have to work with on a daily basis. And he is talking about our advisor in a negative way - and saying these things about our dept. head as well. Is it even appropriate to say anything to my advisor?

[(JD)]

I would certainly discuss this issue with the advisor... and why you don't wish to try and work with this other person in the future. Be nice, professional... don't put it in writing.

For all you know he's a plant by the advisor just to see how much you'll take and whether you'll be nasty when you complain etc... ???? I have no idea.

You pay for your education, and have every right to not have to train another student, especially one who is condescending, along the way.

[Flooded]

He sounds intimidated by you.

Talk to your supervisor but definitely be nice about it

[Perna]

Originally Posted by salukigirl

But I don't know at what point to open my big fat mouth. I am really having trouble seeing the line of where to step in - if stepping in at all is appropriate. Before it wasn't affecting me personally

It obviously has always affected you personally and you always have the right to open your big fat mouth in that situation You are responsible for your environment and if he is dissing your stuff and the professor and making it hard to do your work comfortably then. . .

Just keep it about you, instead of him. You are allowed to think whatever you like about a person and let anyone else who's listening hear your point of view if they are in a position to do something about it. Just say things along the lines of "I get angry and uncomfortable when he disses you and my work, when he doesn't know the first thing about it" and, "He interrupts me when I am working and he is not and has not taken the hint to leave me alone so I can get my work done".