[learningtoaccept]

After going over this in my head since early October, I decided that yes, it would be good for me to go to school and eventually get a job and get off disability. I am a single mom, and I also think my son starting daycare will be good for him to be around other kids and not constantly around my mental health issues. It's tough for me and was a hard choice but I think it will benefit us both greatly.. So I went in for mature student testing at a local private college for a massage therapy program. I received my letter of acceptance today. So, starting in April(my son will be turning 3 in March), I will be starting school.

I discovered after a brief job a couple weeks ago that working gives me so much more structure in my day and makes it easier to cope with life in general. So I am not too worried about that change.. But I am scared that the same thing that always happens will occur again.. Me deciding "I HATE THIS" and wanting to stop. I won't be able to and quite frankly, I don't want to. It's just that once I start something and it starts to get tough, I always stop right away.

How can I push myself to stick it out? I think being medicated will make a huge difference, and hopefully the meds are all sorted out by then. Also just looking at how I live now(can't afford groceries, in debt, can't pay my bills on time) is motivation as well.. It is the step that will change my life so greatly that I am afraid of I guess. I don't want to stop though. I want to succeed and be proud of myself and have a career and a routine in my days. So I just need to learn how to stick things out...

[Travelinglady]

Congratulations!

[Direction]

Congrats!

Regarding want to stop...it sounds you are planning a good goal to better your position...when you feel like stopping...remind yourself its a feeling...feelings don't need to control your life especially when they are not consistent to a well thought out plan...its ok to have the thought...it can be helpful to "sit with the thought or feeling"...try to discover why you might be experiencing it...in the end; however, it is just a thought or feeling and these change constantly...

So put your goal down on paper and put it in a prominent place for you to see...use it to help make the short term goals that can be converted to daily tasks...daily tasks can create a good routine

[Perna]

If you can make a personal connection to your subject rather than just a means-to-a-good-job, that can help put an end to the wanting to stop. If it is part of you, will be like wanting to stop caring for your son; that's a huge/very hard job and has its ups and downs, I know, but isn't something you would "quit" is it?

[Fresia]

Fantastic and congratulations!

[notablackbarbie]

(((learningtoaccept)))
CONGRATULATIONS & DITTO! to all the suggestions above.
I admire your bravery and honesty. Your child will too. Keep you profile name in mind while you just keep trying to take 1 step at a time and 1 day at a time. I can relate too. The school can help you in many ways too - like additional support and financial aid... Again congrats!