I'm so depressed that I failed at school

This isn't meant to be one of those 'Hey kids, don't be like me' stories, but if the shoe fits . . .

Looking back I can see where/why I failed at school. Like anything else that is stressful, I avoided my studies where I could. I remember doing only two pages of maths work in my final two years. At the time I didn't know why, but since finishing school and dealing with regular life stressors, I've noticed the same parttern of avoidance.

e.g. I avoid doing my taxes, and usually end up doing them in a bunch when I start worrying about prison. Or I avoid regular car maintenance, because that also makes me stressed. etc.

So while I look back with regret, I'm not sure I'd be doing anything different if i was in high school now.

Anyone else depressed/regretful over their school experiences?

School was crap, teachers where losers.
Thats whats its like in england.

Rich people pay tuition fees , because they know
There child will be well eduacated.

Anyway, always night school

I know how you feel, even though I'm in college now I don't like it and do the bare minimum because I don't understand it. If I had done better in secondary school I could have got a better college course. Seems everything we do has a knock on effect, and I haven't seen any good ones yet.

What are you studying?

I'm doing Computer Science, I just can't see myself spending the rest of my life doing it.

Sounds like more a case of it perhaps being the wrong subject because you're not as technically minded as you thought you were?

Computer Science requires good marks, doesn't it? It seems then that you could always get to a course more suited to you if that's what you wanted given that your grades are/were pretty good.

I do regret a lot of my earlier school experience. I was in a very bad place mentally, and was not very self-aware. I also have a real tendency to avoid things which are difficult, which only made things worse and worse.

I'm trying hard to rectify things now. I'm not perfect yet (my grades tend to be lower than they could be), and sometimes the past comes back to bite me. I do my best to own up to it though and move forward. I've spent a lot of time dwelling and lamenting, but it doesn't seem to do me much good, so I'm starting to learn to let go. I know I'll graduate later than I would have liked and not with the degree I wanted, but I've still learned it's never too late to improve oneself. If we struggle for it things can get better. I hope to still be doing this when I'm 80.

Best of luck to all of you as well.

Illegal Toilet, you sound pretty similar to me. I have many problems with avoidance when I find things stressful, and to be honest my avoidance always makes things worse in the end, especially when i do eventually have to deal with the stressor (and its consequences).

This year is the second time I've been officially kicked out of university. I just could not be bothered to attend class and do my assignments and exams. My first year ever of university was back in 2003, and since then has been a series of failing academic years, re-starts, pretending to famil I was still attending uni when I wasn't, etc.

As far as I remember it's gone like this.

2003 started uni in September.

2004 was sectioned due to suicidalness in Feb for three weeks. Re-started uni in September.

2005 I failed my first year due to the depression but didn't tell my family i'd failed. I was given the option of re-starting the first year but didn't take it up.

2006 I pretended to my family I was still in uni when in fact I wasn't there as I'd failed. My family found out in February. Re-started uni again in September.

2007 I actually managed to pass part of my course (I was trying to study French and German, and I passed German and failed French). in September I was told I'd have to move onto single honours German as i couldn't take French anymore. I also had to re-take a unit from the first year.

2008 i was at uni in the second year, but I stopped attending as I felt the lecturers were laughing at me due to my numerous re-starts etc. in september I was due to go on the year abroad with university as part of my languages degree. I failed the second year and so couldn't go abroad with the university, so what did I do? rather than telling my family I had failed again, I went abroad by myself to Germany, living in a flat with some German students.

2009 I continued living in Germany, telling my family I was studying at uni there. I was due to start my third year in September (so my family thought) so, for a reason I'm not sure of now, I told my family I'd quit my university course in September 2009, and I started on a new course at a further education college.

2010, until April-ish, is the only time I've ever been certain that my depression was gone. Around that time my motivation slackened off but I was still able to complete and pass the course. In september I started a new course at a different uni, studying combined honours Biology and Psychology. The psychology bored me (i struggled with all the stats stuff and i didn't like how the lectures were delivered). I stopped attending psychology (I did intend to miss just one lesson, at first).

2011 I kept attending and passing biology but it became increasingly hard to keep up motivation for going to classes but I managed it, mainly because I had made friends on my course. I passed biology and failed psychology. I wasn't motivated enough to take the summer resits even though I knew i'd be kicked out if i didn't take them. Of course I was kicked out. I appealed against the decision and they did write a letter allowing me to have to take the exams again before I could progress in the second year but I don't think there is any point as I can't see me passing the degree anyway. I pretended to my family that I was still going to uni until November, and then it all came out, including that I'd lost my part-time job at a supermarket over the summer (which I'd had since 2004), because I hadn't been bothered enough to attend. My dad's reaction to the news meant I left home (temporarily?) and I am staying at a friend's house.

That's my story of university and avoidance, they don't go well together, lol.

How old are you now and what do you study?

I do rather regret my schooling experience.
For a bit of a different reason though. I actually did just fine and kind of wasted it, I feel.
My brain has been rotting recently. I'd love to get back into school again and obtain my degree in mathematics, however, financially I have no idea how it will ever be feasible.
I am not a fan of throwing myself into an impossible pit of debt.

I don't know. I always feel like I could have done better. But I pretty much just vow to do the best I can in the future.
Right now I'm doing something I really love doing, but... I'd love to further it.

But don't feel too bad. I mean, lets face it... High school was a bit of a waste of time. It most certainly isn't the be all and end all... I did pretty well in high school and believe me.. I didn't really do crap for me. ;]

Funny, I was just going to start a thread on this very topic. Thanks for doing so for me! Just kidding...

You're probably speaking of college, but I have my own regrets about high school.

From the first semester of my freshmen year...
From the 3rd marking period of my sophomore year...
My grades as of right now, halfway through the 2nd marking period of my junior year...
Those Bs could come up, but they will as I have been getting my homework in on time and they are already so close to being As. I have an easy courseload this year, unlike last year. I'm terrified that my motivation - then my grades - will sap once I get into difficult college classes. Right now, in this moment, I am proud of myself for the improvement. Still, I am so ashamed of my sophomore year grades, and would do anything to make them up.. I can't beat the math and chem classes, though. I just don't get that stuff.