[Secretum]

For my first three years of high school, I was always "on the go". I had very little time for myself, between my extracurricular activities and all the accelerated and AP classes I took. I was not happy or "stable", but I was doing a lot better emotionally than I am now. I was also exceptionally productive, and the ability to get a lot done is something that I highly value.

By my senior year, my bipolar disorder grew so strong that it began to significantly interfere with my ability to be super-productive. My grades fell from all A's to half A's half B's (doesn't sound that bad, but to a 4.0 student, that is the end of the world). I lost the ability to study, and confidence in myself as a student.

College came, and things didn't get any better. In fact, I lost even more confidence in my ability as a student. Last semester was the worst; I was severely depressed, and could barely make it to class, let alone study. I got a 3.3 for the semester, with a C in organic chemistry. I do not get C's! I was only taking 15 credits, and 2 were spent in an individual laboratory course, so only 13 credits were for actual classes. This is barely above the minimum requirement needed to be a full-time student, yet I still couldn't meet my goals. During this time, I was not really involved in any extra-curricular activities. I tried to get involved, but going out after class was just too much for me.

Now, I am feeling better. Wellbutrin and Abilify seem to have my depression under control. I want to prove to myself and to bipolar that it hasn't really taken anything from me. I want to prove that I can still study and learn and get straight A's. I have a packed schedule, including 16 credits of classes and 2 credits of research. The classes include:
-2nd semester neurobiology
-biochemistry
-behavioral genetics
-intro to public health
-statistics for psychology

In addition to these classes, I want to get involved in my school's suicide prevention committee, and start a club of my own. Am I mad for ever dreaming that I could handle all of this? Am I setting myself up for failure? I desperately want to prove that I can perform at the same level as I did before my senior year of high school. Should I stop trying to prove a lie and drop a class? Thanks

[roads]

Three very difficult science classes? Should you drop a class? Well, the short answer is yes.

And the long answer is, of course you should.

Secretum, it has very little to do with your MH profile. The stat class you're taking isn't a snap, & it's crucial that you really get that down as a foundation. The other classes & research are tough & important. The extracurricular stuff are great & good for you too. It is good for you to take the time for them all. You have the time. It's not that you can't do it. It's ... Why try to break yourself? Why ... When you can love yourself????



Roadrunner

[Perna]

I would cut out the pressure and expectation of getting straight A's and add any extra curricular activities gradually, one at a time as I saw how the course load was and how I was feeling. Taking on too much, the bipolar might try to fight back, I would look around and talk to other students and see what courses they are taking and how they are doing and not overdo it relative to them; you don't have to "prove" anything, you have to work to be a healthy, balanced person.