[orangechips]

ever since i can remember, people have said that i am bright. i was in the creative kid classes in elementary school, liked to write poetry, and i have always been good at written exams. i think being told i am smart went to my head and made me arrogant, but i am also lazy.

also ever since i can remember, i hardly do any homework. i am 22 and dropped out of two colleges, but even since 3rd grade probably before, i just don't do homework.

i used to watch a lot of television when i wasn't doing homework, and now i despise television for it's affect on behaviour and thinking. i used to play a lot of guitar and read a lot of books or ride bike and mostly listen to music. ahh getting off track.

the point is i stop thinking about schoolwork when i walk out of the classroom. it never seemed too relevant to me even if it was interesting. i just stop thinking about it, forget to write it in my planner, just block it from my mind.

this is really just a reflective journal for me. i'm sure you've heard my story before. spoiled and lazy. now it translates to other parts of my life.

i just don't feel like this school and employment system is for me. i don't get the point but i don't know how to escape it. i never really feel prepared for anything but there's no carrot on a stick for me to chase. graduation, degrees, salary don't mean anything to me

[Fresia]

A family member used to tell me, "find your passion," and "know that you can do whatever you set your mind to." Other people's idea's, whether it be chasing the degree, the salary, a house, etc, may not be your idea of the proverbial carrot to chase, but you do what you need to to survive; if you can find in the process a way to do what interests too is the ideal and the luckiest position to be in. Combine passion with work, and it makes the work more interesting and definitely more tolerable. I hope you find an interest that makes the work bearable, no matter whether it be school or a job, and the tasks that go with it. I have not met a soul who likes homework, but it is their interest in something greater be it the degree, the work they will be doing, or interest in a class, that they put up with the homework; same for putting up with some of unbearable tasks at work, they are doing them in return to feed, house, and clothe themselves and/or their family, and possibly support other passions too if they can afford it.

So wishing you the best in finding your passion and work that you enjoy, so that all the rest is bearable; and in finding a system that will help you to get the necessary tasks done in the processes. It was trial and error for me to find what worked best. Hoping you find what will works best for you!

[singer14]

educations realy hard for me atm its become harder over the last year nd iv become more worried and obssesive i cant concentrate what so ever

[insideout]

orangechips, I can relate with what you're saying. I have been tested to have a very high IQ, yet I don't fit into the system either. I dropped out of school even though I was in the Honor Society. I don't consider you spoiled and lazy. Maybe you are bored, maybe school just isn't your thing.
Not everyone fits into a little box of conformity. Society gives us the expectation of going to college and tells us that if we are smart but don't do well in school, something must be wrong with us.
I think it's important to just find something you enjoy, that you find meaningful. Find out what your core needs are and find something that meets those needs. Forget what anyone else expects from you.

[*freak*]

I didn't fit in the system either. I wish I had known about alternative education back then (Waldorf and the like). I would have definitely given that a try.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by orangechips

but there's no carrot on a stick for me to chase. graduation, degrees, salary don't mean anything to me

How about eating? Everybody has to make their own way, otherwise they have to rely on someone else to feed/house/clothe them and that's rarely satisfactory. Taking an interest or ability and pursuing it works a lot better than the alternative.

[orangechips]

thankyou for the advice. my problem is that i am taking so long to find my passion. i used to love cooking, but after working as a cook it isn't making me happy. my parents have put a lot of money into my education and i feel like **** when i don't want to continue. i just want to start over at the bottom, get a simple job and focus on a hobby. have been writing a little more consistently and playing music. i think it will take a long time before i can make money from music or writing but i am going to do it. i have to or i'll be miserable