[James0805]

I have bounced around a few community colleges. I got my AA. I stopped going about 15 years ago. I am 42. Every one in my family has a BA but me. I feel ashamed about it.

I have always had this idea that 4 year school would be too much for me. I am not very good at time management nor do I care to be. I keep thinking the instructors will be inhospitable. I wonder if they wi11 use such huge high falutin vocabularies I won't know what they are saying. In tern, I will look like an idiot for not understanding. Also, I have major depression.

I am not sure my paper writing is up to snuff for a four year. I keep hearing it is "rigorous" at college. That is scary. Many people have derided community colleges as stupid and four year as the real deal. I don't feel adequately prepared.

[Tsuki632]

I'm from a high achieving family. My sister and my cousin are both doctors, my cousin has an masters in aerospace engineering, another cousin will get her Ph/d in biomechanical something or other. My other cousins all have a BA/Bsc if not more. I have 2 three year diplomas (equivalent to an associate's degrees in the States I think) and often feel like the failure of the family. I started taking courses to get my BTech but have since dropped it. It just wasn't for me.

I am smart enough. . . but my personality type means that college programs are better suited to me. More hands on, more practical, more concrete.

I have a feeling you're in the same boat. I doubt you would look like an idiot. I have read university papers . . . my grammar and writing skills are as good or better than theirs. My program at college (what you would call community college I think) was more rigorous and time consuming than most of my friends at uni.

There are upgrading courses available at most unis if you feel this is what you need to do.

Check your reasons for wanting a BA. Is it because your family has them. I thought for the long time that I wanted mine, but it turns out that the reason I was doing it was because everyone else had it.

It's taken me a long time to come to terms with that. . . I'm still working on it. I am good enough without a BA. I have a great job that I love and I'm really good at. Of my university friends most of them have the paper but are working in totally unrelated fields.

If getting your BA is important to you for reasons that are yours and not what family/society think then go for it. Yes it's scary going back to school as a 'mature' student. Learning and retention are more difficult than it was at 17. There are many supports available at schools. I think all schools have a "centre for students with disabilities" where you might find supports to help.

Consider taking a course as a part-time student, or through distance ed. It might give you a taste of what the whole program is like.

Good luck with your decision. Make sure you're doing it for you or you will struggle and get frustrated.

[Jan1212]

I attend a community college, they have one of the best competitive programs I am part of. I understand people have a stereotype about community colleges, let them think whatever because you can end up better than a lot of people who graduated from a university. There are so many variations one can go through, you just can't generalize. Plus this is not the last stop, you will always have opportunities to go for your bachelor's, a lot of universities offer a fast track (2 years instead of 4) for the same degree.

Sure yours and my friends are getting their Masters now, but I'm working my way up and getting the experience. You're doing this for yourself, not for anyone else. Don't compare, it will only hurt you more.

You must have the same thought about community colleges too since you feel a 4 yr college/university is too good for you it's okay. Feeling unprepared is normal, you don't know what to expect - you haven't even started yet. You learn class by class.

I understand negative thoughts can inhibit you in a lot of aspects of life. Taking care of depression will help.

[Travelinglady]

I agree. It depends on the community college. Some of their classes might be more rigorous than classes at various 4-year schools. You could try taking an online class at the junior level, when you get over your depression. Also, you can select a school that's good, but not Harvard or Yale! There are plenty of decent schools with profs who are generally more down to earth. Many of them offer night classes.

[Oxidopamine]

Getting a BA is only worthwhile if your area(s) of interest requires it and you're passionate about the study. Getting a BA simply to be like the rest of your family isn't worthwhile because suppose you graduate in a field you never were passionate about. If you get a job in that area, it's going to be hell for you; you're better off studying something and earning the required degree, diploma or certificate to work (or continue studying).

When I was in my undergrad, several of my classes had mature students. They were often treated the same as any other student in that they could join in various study groups and form friendships if they behaved appropriately.

If you start in the 1st year of university, almost all professors are very welcoming and don't use very elaborate vocabularies. I say almost because there certainly can be exceptions, although I was fortunate to never experience that. If you start in the 2nd year of university, the content will be harder and the expectations will be higher but it's still considered introductory. If you start in the 3rd year, then you'll be with students who, for the most part, are passionate about their study and the professors tend to use a higher vocabulary when necessary.

Some professors will use a vocabulary to project their grandiosity and there's not much that can be done in that case other than deal with it. The good news is you'll be in the same boat as everyone else. Additionally, depending on the nature of the course, you can draw on your life experience to give better and more detailed answers than some of the other students.

Lastly, you can try being a part-time student at first to see if you can handle the pressure and to see if you even like how the course content is delivered. If you do like it, then great, you can either continue being a part-time student or become a full-time student. On the other hand, if you don't like it, then you can try another area or another route.

[IceCreamKid]

I went to a community college and loved it. I received excellent instruction there. One of the smartest (and I mean really, really smart) people I know went to the same community college. Now we are both at a university. Both of us are doing well. You're smart enough. You can manage your time well if you start your assignments as soon as you get them. Rarely is an assignment so "big" that it cannot be done in the allotted time if you just start when you should. I think most colleges and universities have some sort of writing center where you can get help with writing assignments. Few people are excellent at everything so there is no shame if your writing is weaker than your other abilities. Professors use every day language; when they use jargon that is relevant to the subject, it's usually defined in the text or if in doubt: Google it! Some professors are jerks, but many are nice people who really appreciate the interested student. Go for it if you want to! You could start small with one class. That is what I did.

[James0805]

Originally Posted by IceCreamKid

I went to a community college and loved it. I received excellent instruction there. One of the smartest (and I mean really, really smart) people I know went to the same community college. Now we are both at a university. Both of us are doing well. You're smart enough. You can manage your time well if you start your assignments as soon as you get them. Rarely is an assignment so "big" that it cannot be done in the allotted time if you just start when you should. I think most colleges and universities have some sort of writing center where you can get help with writing assignments. Few people are excellent at everything so there is no shame if your writing is weaker than your other abilities. Professors use every day language; when they use jargon that is relevant to the subject, it's usually defined in the text or if in doubt: Google it! Some professors are jerks, but many are nice people who really appreciate the interested student. Go for it if you want to! You could start small with one class. That is what I did.

I'm afraid of failing the one class and looking stupid. I don't handle pressure well. In America, we have a stigma against people without a BA.

[James0805]

Originally Posted by Oxidopamine

Getting a BA is only worthwhile if your area(s) of interest requires it and you're passionate about the study. Getting a BA simply to be like the rest of your family isn't worthwhile because suppose you graduate in a field you never were passionate about. If you get a job in that area, it's going to be hell for you; you're better off studying something and earning the required degree, diploma or certificate to work (or continue studying).

When I was in my undergrad, several of my classes had mature students. They were often treated the same as any other student in that they could join in various study groups and form friendships if they behaved appropriately.

If you start in the 1st year of university, almost all professors are very welcoming and don't use very elaborate vocabularies. I say almost because there certainly can be exceptions, although I was fortunate to never experience that. If you start in the 2nd year of university, the content will be harder and the expectations will be higher but it's still considered introductory. If you start in the 3rd year, then you'll be with students who, for the most part, are passionate about their study and the professors tend to use a higher vocabulary when necessary.

Some professors will use a vocabulary to project their grandiosity and there's not much that can be done in that case other than deal with it. The good news is you'll be in the same boat as everyone else. Additionally, depending on the nature of the course, you can draw on your life experience to give better and more detailed answers than some of the other students.

Lastly, you can try being a part-time student at first to see if you can handle the pressure and to see if you even like how the course content is delivered. If you do like it, then great, you can either continue being a part-time student or become a full-time student. On the other hand, if you don't like it, then you can try another area or another route.

In the US, there is a stigma against people without the BA. I have no passion for any particular subject. I thought about getting into psychology but you can't do anything with it without a Masters. I don't want a Masters. I want to do something of meaning with my life, now at 42, but I don't know what.

[James0805]

You encouragement is greatly appreciated. Your comments have been kind, all of you. I need all the encouragement I can get. I feel alone in this.

[Tsuki632]

Originally Posted by James0805

You encouragement is greatly appreciated. Your comments have been kind, all of you. I need all the encouragement I can get. I feel alone in this.

There is stigma in Canada too and yet I am one of the few of my friends who didn't go to university and has a career directly related to my education that I love. Go figure!

If you're going for you and not others don't let fear get in your way. Take a correspondence course if you're afraid of looking foolish. No one has to know. Even if you take an in class course no one has to know your marks.

If you're not sure what program to take maybe ask your therapist (if you have one) for the "Strong Interest Inventory". It compares your likes and dislikes to those of people working in many different occupations. It indicates what areas are likely to interest you and that you'll enjoy. That's how I found my passion. Before that X-ray was never on my radar screen.

I can't stress enough that you need to do this for your own reasons and not for what other people think. I tried and was miserable. I have no doubt you can do it, you sound like you're determined enough.

[BioHazard]

All of my childhood life my father told me I was stupid, despite excellent grades. He just hated me and told me so when I was in my early 40s. So when I finished High School, I believed and was terrified of college. Counserlers at my High school kept encouraging me to go, but I didn t until a year later,
future 1st husband said "Well at leat go to a Technical college." Being Bi-Polar and suffering my first ral bout of severe depression, my grades were from one extreme to the oter. It took me four years to complete an18 month program. But I had a lot of emotional set backs.
It wasn t until I was 28 that my second husband encouraged me to go for my B.S. I completed a five year prgram in 1 and a half yrs. Other end of the Bi-Polar axis. I was the only white student at a Black Univ. I was ignored,abused, laughed at and insulted. I did it, but didn t feel welcome at Graduatio, so I didn t go. Didn t tell anyone like your supposed to that your re not planning to attend, I wanted it to screw up their roll call and the fact that by now, my ex-husband was Vice President would embarass them even more. Thats as vendictive as I get, no more.
Make up your mind what you want for your self. Think about what you ll put on job appications in the immediate future...when you check offhighest grade completed. If that doesnt matter to you, then stop worring about it and get on with your life. A lot of successful people, i.e. celebrities, never finished high school or quit college in the middle. Be all you can be on you own terms.
Signed, BioHazard.

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by James0805

I'm afraid of failing the one class and looking stupid. I don't handle pressure well. In America, we have a stigma against people without a BA.

I live in the USA. Around 30 percent of the population has a bachelor's degree. It's highly unlikely you would fail the one class you took and no one would know but you; your classmates would be worrying about their own grades. I think you are talking yourself out of trying. Instead of doing that, cut yourself some slack. Have you looked into what the university offers for non-traditional, adult, commuter, or distance-learning students? I'd investigate all of that before I assumed I'd automatically fail. I think you'll do fine when you go for it. Courage!