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  #1  
Old Oct 24, 2012, 12:03 PM
SingDanceRunLife SingDanceRunLife is offline
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A couple of weeks ago, I moved into an on campus apartment with my friend because I was having issues in my townhouse. I'm technically in a double, but have no roommate which is awesome.

Today though, I got an email about a girl wanting to move in with us, and I really don't want a roommate! The room isn't big enough for 2 people! It's only 11'6"x11'!!

I've met the girl (she's friends w/my good friend, and she came to my friend's birthday party last week), and she seems really nice, but the thought of sharing the room I have is extremely unappealing.

The email was from the girl wanting to move in to my housemate who forwarded it to me and it said:

I am a study abroad student from England currently living at the ______ apartments. I am not very happy with my living situation and was advised by Campus life to ask around to see if there is somewhere else I could move to.

I spoke to a friend who happened to know that there was a free room at _____. Your RA gave me your email address and advised me to get in contact to see if we could possibly meet, connect and discuss the possibility of me joining you in your apartment.

Let me know what your situation is, in terms of if you would mind a new addition to the apartment or not. I am just exploring various options so no pressure.

I look forward to hearing from you!


How should I respond?

I'm also quite afraid of living with someone I don't know because of my bipolar. When I'm hypomanic, I'm up and doing stuff til 3am and I'm extremely irritable! When I'm depressed, I want nothing more than to be alone. In the past I've lived with friends and they have dealt with it okay, but it was because they knew me well and knew about my situation.

Ugh.

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  #2  
Old Oct 24, 2012, 12:16 PM
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Miswimmy1 Miswimmy1 is offline
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I think you should explain to her. She sounds very low key and very easy going and I am sure she will understand if you tell her that you dont feel comfortable. You need to do what is best for you at this point, I think. That is why you moved in the 1st place isn't it?
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  #3  
Old Oct 24, 2012, 12:19 PM
SingDanceRunLife SingDanceRunLife is offline
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Yeah, she seems really nice and all, I just have a major fear of living with someone I don't know.

I did move because it was going to be a better situation for me than where I was.
  #4  
Old Oct 24, 2012, 03:34 PM
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LFC555 LFC555 is offline
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It wouldn't be very nice to turn someone away, and I'm sure you don't want to upset someone do you? Especially someone who seems a nice person.

And on your profile you say you like hanging out with friends and having a good time, well there's someone you could be very good friends with.
  #5  
Old Oct 24, 2012, 03:54 PM
SingDanceRunLife SingDanceRunLife is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LFC555 View Post
It wouldn't be very nice to turn someone away, and I'm sure you don't want to upset someone do you? Especially someone who seems a nice person.

And on your profile you say you like hanging out with friends and having a good time, well there's someone you could be very good friends with.
True, but I have very good reasons for not wanting a roommate -- especially someone I don't know/doesn't know me. Add that onto the fact that the room is way too small for 2 people anyway...and well, yeah...
  #6  
Old Oct 24, 2012, 04:05 PM
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Miswimmy1 Miswimmy1 is offline
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I think you should go with your gut. You aren't "turning her away"... it may just not be a good time to get a roommate. and thats ok. do you have a t? does he/she have any say in this?
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  #7  
Old Oct 24, 2012, 04:08 PM
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likewater likewater is offline
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Actually, if I were the other girl, i'd want you to be honest not nice. If you are nice at the beginning and agree to an unlivable situation, it will be worse in the end.
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  #8  
Old Oct 24, 2012, 04:11 PM
SingDanceRunLife SingDanceRunLife is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miswimmy1 View Post
I think you should go with your gut. You aren't "turning her away"... it may just not be a good time to get a roommate. and thats ok. do you have a t? does he/she have any say in this?
I do have a T, but I'm pretty sure she has no say in the matter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by likewater View Post
Actually, if I were the other girl, i'd want you to be honest not nice. If you are nice at the beginning and agree to an unlivable situation, it will be worse in the end.
I emailed the girl saying that I'm not sure about sharing the room because it's really small (true), but that we should sit down and talk about it, and she should come check the room out and see what she thinks, and also, that before we decide whether or not she should move in, we should spend more time together to see if we would be a good match.
  #9  
Old Oct 24, 2012, 05:25 PM
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DenisDonnacha DenisDonnacha is offline
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That was a good move, it definitely sounds like too small a room to be sharing, when you have your chat with her you can say that it would be difficult to share such a small room, and she'd probably think that anyways when she sees it.
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  #10  
Old Oct 24, 2012, 05:29 PM
SingDanceRunLife SingDanceRunLife is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DenisDonnacha View Post
That was a good move, it definitely sounds like too small a room to be sharing, when you have your chat with her you can say that it would be difficult to share such a small room, and she'd probably think that anyways when she sees it.
Yeah, it definitely is too small to share. The doubles in the apartments I live in are literally the smallest doubles on campus and are barely bigger than the singles!
  #11  
Old Oct 24, 2012, 07:32 PM
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Miswimmy1 Miswimmy1 is offline
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that sounds like a good idea i hope it goes well!

and i would run it by t, just in case. you nvr know... my t has helped in some very strange circumstances when I thought she wouldn't have any say... haha
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  #12  
Old Oct 25, 2012, 06:23 PM
SlowMoMo SlowMoMo is offline
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Bunk beds!!!

You will have soo much extra room for activities.
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  #13  
Old Oct 26, 2012, 03:42 PM
SingDanceRunLife SingDanceRunLife is offline
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Originally Posted by SlowMoMo View Post
Bunk beds!!!

You will have soo much extra room for activities.
Haha. Love the reference, but hate bunkbeds!
  #14  
Old Oct 26, 2012, 04:36 PM
SlowMoMo SlowMoMo is offline
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On topic: I would hate to have a roommate. It would be much easier to say no to having a roommate, than to live with someone you are uncomfortable with sharing a living space with.
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