[Jellyfish55]

Hello! Usually, school is not a problem with me. I do okay without trying too hard, and I do t get picked on or anything. So this year, I started 9th grade and I've been having some trouble getting everything comfortable. I'm definitely a goody two shoes, I don't get drunk and stuff and I've never had a boyfriend. I tend to get crushed on people for a really long time and not say anything. Anyway, my friends have sort of been teasing me lately. Not all of them, but particularly these two girls I'm really close with. They like to do stuff to get me annoyed, because apparently my reactions and how I react are really funny. And they never apologize. And I try to get mad at then, and I will, and then next time I talk to them my anger just kinda melts away. And I try not to annoy them because I don't want them to be mad at me. And I'm not the most social person, so I try to hold on to the friends I have. Anyway, I just kind of need help dealing with them. What should I do?? If I don't get annoyed by these things, they won't get that response but I'm so bad at being calm about stuff. But if things go on like this I feel like they could get worse. Like yesterday there was a misunderstanding that was mostly their fault and I ended up hiding in the bathroom and crying. Then today, I didn't want to have to see her today. I think I'm just gonna sit down with her an have a talk about what's going on. It's just weird because I've known her for two years and he just started being like this a month or two ago. I just want to get the old her back. I just needed SPMEONE to vent to, so I wrote this. Thanks for listening
OH WAIT I have another thing. There's this guy I'm friends with, lets call him Billy. Anyway, whenever I'm with billy and it's just him and me and a few mutual friends, everything is chill and he's really sweet and one of my friends even thinks he likes me. But when billy is with his other group of friends(especially this one girl we'll call Sally) it's like I literally don't even exist. He won't say hi or even glance my way. How should I deal with him without making it awkward? I would think he likes Sally except she has a boyfriend and he's fine with it. I'm just confused. Well, thanks again for listening .

[Travelinglady]

Hello, Jellyfish. I really can't say I understand what's happening either. If I were you, then I think I'd at least ask the folks to explain why they seem to be rather two-faced.

It might partly be your goody-two-shoes reputation, but if it is, then I encourage you to stand your ground. We need people who study hard, and who have important goals and values in this world. It will pay off one of these days.

If you wish to continue this conversation, then feel free. I will check back before too long--maybe tomorrow.

P.S. You might consider talking to a school counselor about things.

[spondiferous]

Welcome Jellyfish. It sounds like you have a difficult dilemma with your friends, but their treatment of you is definitely not okay. It sounds like they may even be crossing the line into bullying if it's causing you emotional distress, although I'm not entirely sure what it is that they are doing so I won't make that call. Either way, PAYNE is right; perhaps talking to a school counselor would be something to consider. They might be able to help you sort out how to deal with this situation.

As for Billy, well...I hate to say it, but guys can sometimes be different with you when you're alone with them than they are when they're with their friends. It's unfortunate, but it's true. It usually has something to do with the age factor, although some guys never outgrow it. Anyway, maybe you should ask him about why he does this and see what his response is. It doesn't seem to me that a very good friend would only treat you like one some of the time.

[Jellyfish55]

Spondiferous and Payne- thanks for the advice. I'm getting things worked out with my friends and am still not sure what's up with billy. I'm going to give him some space then maybe confront him later

[Perna]

Teasing can be hard. I eventually learned to see myself in such a way that the teasing did not hurt and I could understand why I was "teaseable" and either work on that behavior or tease myself when it happened. Being able to truly laugh at yourself and your foibles, to enjoy yourself in all your aspects is very freeing.

People I don't care about who tease me (mean people) don't bother me anymore because I don't care about them; it's like random strangers who don't know me making comments. I know me and know what I am doing, what my problems are, what I'm working on and how well I'm doing and can dismiss those who are ignorant and unkind without much thought; they're not part of my life and I don't let them in.

With Billy, I would try going over closer to him and the girl and listening/joining in their conversation, maybe getting to know the girl more, engage them to get a sense of if Billy really is ignoring you or doesn't "see" you because she is engaging him more. If you just observe a lot, I'd get in there and participate some or you will be more ignored because if other people are talking/teasing/being together, they're not going to notice the rest of the world so much. Get out of your head some and practice conversing with the others and see if you are noticed more other times. People "expect" certain things and if you get in the habit of being quiet, that's what they will expect and not realize it is not the way you want to be.