[Fresia]

I am a little off right now getting meds adjusted due to the depression and was hoping to run something by y'all. I would really appreciate your feedback as I think my mind is playing tricks on me.

I just graduated with an associates degree that requires certification to work. It is important that I get back to work. I have signed up to take the certification exam this summer and I have until end of September to take it. Meanwhile, I am finishing my bachelor's and have one class this summer. A calculus class that though I have to work at math, I usually do well. I am in way over my head with this calculus class, spending really long days and dragging myself to tutors, but getting 50's mostly. It is the first two weeks of the 7 weeks session and I only need a C to pass to transfer back to my school, but no matter the grade, pass or fail, it won't affect my GPA. However, I have not been able to study for my certification exam.

I considered dropping it but remembered something an advisor once said: it is better if not doing well, especially if it won't affect your GPA, to stick it out and be exposed to the material; then retake it, because it will be less you have to learn the next time. Considering I have never had calculus before this might be a valid point since I will probably have to retake it in the fall at this rate anyway. However, if I drop it, I will have all the time in the world to study for the cert exam but no chance of being exposed to any calculus.

I was thinking to continue with it to get the exposure, perhaps the class is salvageable (something might click at some point), but put aside so many hours a day for my certification material no matter what, and work the calculus in around it, come what may. I hate the thought of failing a class but if something can be learned it the process, it may not be a total failure despite what the grade says. Does this make sense? I wonder if I am just not wanting to give into the depression and lose the fees for the class. Perhaps I do need to drop it as I am overwhelmed and why the class is not making sense to me, get meds leveled out, study for cert exam, and just retake it in the fall. Any thoughts?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts; I really do appreciate it and am so sorry this is so long!!!

[0w6c379]

I'm no guidance counselor or anything close so keep that in mind with what I say here. I took pre-calculus in college and had an instructor with a heavy accent. I could hardly understand her never mind the content of the course. Calculus is really difficult if you don't have any background in it. For myself, I would not want to stay and fail the course. If you are only getting 50's now, and that is with tutoring, I'm not seeing how you can improve within such a short period of time. Keep in mind that, as the course progresses with each passing week, the content only gets MORE difficult. If you feel overwhelmed now, think what it will be like in 4 weeks from now. For me the pressure would be to much with everything else you are dealing with. The little training you've had in calculus has exposed you already. Your certification is important and I would not want to jeopardize that. If it takes you longer to learn calculus so be it. These are just my thoughts. Only you really know what the best decision is here. It will come to you soon if you're not sure now. Best of luck!

[Perna]

Yes, I would start to make a schedule for the certification and work the calculus around that if the calculus doesn't affect anything. The certification affects your ability to work.

Too, you might do a reality check on the calculus; it could be that everyone is doing poorly and that you have a B or C even though you only seem to have scores in the 50s. I know my husband had several courses like that in his undergrad engineering days, and my sister in her nursing school ones.

[unaluna]

Holy cow. I was a math major in college and I cant imagine taking a speeded up calculus course!! I would talk to your instructor asap. Maybe he can find you a better tutor or shine a light somehow. Will you be taking the calculus again if you drop it?

[Fresia]

Originally Posted by hankster

Holy cow. I was a math major in college and I cant imagine taking a speeded up calculus course!! I would talk to your instructor asap. Maybe he can find you a better tutor or shine a light somehow. Will you be taking the calculus again if you drop it?

Yes, I will have to take it (again) as it is required for my major/degree. Taking it in the summer I am discovering is a huge mistake; thank you for confirming that. There is not enough time to get through the material, and get help if needing it when run into trouble, and then master it. I definitely will NOT be retaking it during a summer session but during a regular semester.

I have an actual exam on Thursday, instead of quizzes, with tutoring again tomorrow and Wednesday. I will see how it goes and how she grades them (curve perhaps, then again someone always blows this.) Given that the prof emailed today that she is now giving us more chances to improve the grades with the chance to redo homework and retaking quizzes, I am not the only one not doing well, which was a relief to find out today but I still am pressed for energy and time. My days are slipping. I keep wondering if I should I wait until I'm in a better position, with meds leveled out and with more time to digest the material?! I am starting to think so because despite trying to push through this, thinking I could do both, was purely sheer desperation to get done with school and not give in to this. I need to take the time to take care, school can wait. It has before; it will still be there. Through tears this pains me, knowing how the cycles of BP come and go, I should be used to it by now after all these years but will try to remember this too shall pass.. will try to remember.

Thank you everyone for your input; there has been a lot to consider and having other points of view has helped considerably. I can't thank you enough. Hugs Have to go.

[Fresia]

Talked to the professor.... there is no way with the grades as they are that I can pass the class; even though I knew this, it was hard to hear. The prof has offered that instead of continuing to taking the class just to fail to get the exposure that there is still time for a bit of refund if I drop it now, but that I can continue coming to audit it to get something from it for when I have to retake it. This was really so great that this was offered and I will definitely do this. I will work with the docs and T to get leveled out meanwhile, study for the exam, attend class, and will hopefully have better luck in the fall then. I am feeling a huge weight off my shoulders and already there is relief knowing there is less pressure; I will have the time to concentrate on healing.

Thanks again for helping me sort through this!

[Perna]

Originally Posted by Fresia

that there is still time for a bit of refund if I drop it now, but that I can continue coming to audit it to get something from it for when I have to retake it

Make sure he is correct; my university charged for auditing; not as much but some. Of course, it could just be he wouldn't tell and you wouldn't tell so who would know, etc. . .

[Fresia]

Thanks for pointing that out Perna. I checked and they do charge for auditing; however, the prof was going to let me audit under the radar, so no fee as the prof wanted to help me get the exposure without the cost, especially she said in knowing I would have to retake it. So, so kind.

However, it is astounding me how life works sometimes. If I had not dropped the class due the depression, the prof would not have had the chance to tell me that I could audit it, and to come any day but test days, which there was one last week. As a result, instead of being in class, I was then home that morning during class when my Dad loss the use of his body due to numbness and then seized, so that I was able to get him to the ER, as he would not have been able to call 911. A brain mass was discovered and without getting stabilized on meds that would have killed him had he been alone. Coincidence? Strange twist of fate? God's plan? Whatever the case may be, never have I ever been grateful for my depression in a very twisted way and for such an understanding prof; they are out there.

[Perna]

Oh, that is good that you could be there for your father! I don't believe in coincidence or luck, just good fortune :-) Have you decided how you're going to audit? Go to every class or spend one or more of them reading the text/working on your own in the library and go to fewer classes? Where did you learn the most or have the most difficulty, working with the text/written materials or listening and taking notes in class?

[Fresia]

Originally Posted by Perna

Oh, that is good that you could be there for your father! I don't believe in coincidence or luck, just good fortune :-) Have you decided how you're going to audit? Go to every class or spend one or more of them reading the text/working on your own in the library and go to fewer classes? Where did you learn the most or have the most difficulty, working with the text/written materials or listening and taking notes in class?

Good point about learning styles and food for thought. I will definitely try to attend class as this was the most helpful when I can I find someone to stay with Dad and work on the online video tutorials, which I can do at home. There are also some step-by-step problem guides online that seemed to help that I can also do at home, which will be helpful at this point to make the most of the material offered now. I can work on the book later or during the regular semester when it comes back around, if that happens, not sure at this point. Going to take things one moment at a time. Thanks for your insights and help Perna!

[Perna]

I take it you'll wait as long as you can into September to take the certification exam? Are you studying for that too, is there a study book of some sort for the exam? Busy bee you are; helping your father, keeping your eye on your certification/job, auditing and then retaking the calculus. Take care of yourself well too!