[jazzyishere]

I'm currently a senior in college, and I joined my sorority last year. I moved into the sorority house this year, and everything has gone downhill from there. I'm bipolar, and now that the girls are living with me it seems like they hate me for it. Right now, I feel like I'm losing my mind over this.

Every couple of days I'll turn around a corner and hear a group of people talking about me. As soon as I come into the room they're suddenly silent. The sorority takes up so much of my time that I'm completely burned out. I spend ten to fifteen hours a week with them, and they freak out if I have to work or do some homework instead. They say that my priorities should be "school, work, sorority". The fact that I don't feel this way angers them.

The girls in my house have been properly informed that I have severe allergies. Over the summer during our retreat, the house we went to used to have dog living there. I didn't know that, but I'm severely allergic. I had an asthma attack and went to the hospital. Two nights ago I get home and hear barking upstairs, and I see that my sister is violating our lease and keeping her mom's dogs here over the weekend while she's supposed to be petsitting.

I immediately had to leave. I sent her many texts about it, and she is angry at me for "making a scene". The other girls in the sorority are also angry at me for leaving the house for the weekend and upsetting the sister who brought the dogs. She refused to remove the animals, and it's going to be days before I'll be able to go back. She told me that her mother is allergic to dogs and still has them, so I should be able to as well.

Every time we go into a sorority meeting people are angry. The girls are all frustrated and yelling at each other over stupid things. Our chapter president always says that we aren't "pulling our weight". Meaning that we don't go to enough of the events. Between working thirty hours per week and taking full time classes, I don't have the time to do anything else.

It's upsetting. I can't talk to any of these girls, and they are constantly going off on me for not doing enough for them. I don't have anything left. Trying to keep my grades up is hard enough, and keeping my job is important too. The girls who are the most angry at me for not being involved enough are the ones who aren't working right now.

I've been crying every night. I feel like I can't get away from these people. They act like the sorority is the most important thing in their lives, and they're horrible to each other. They talk about each sister as soon as she leaves the room, and they're mean to each other all the time. It's so stressful, and I can't take it. However, if I left the sorority I would have nowhere to live. I can't afford to lose my housing right now, and I can't stand living with them.

[Rose3]

Sorry about the allergies and the dogs - maybe some people require more information about allergies - so that they would have better understanding about the symptoms and problems. At the sorority - you want to keep your housing right now, and find yourself among others who are yelling at each other and angry at you. Would it be helpful to show them a chart of your schedule - so they have better understanding of your time obligations? And point out to them the events that you can attend. I'm not sure what their expectations are, nor what your obligations are? With the unpleasantness of that sorority atmosphere - what might be some possible alternatives? Be clear in your mind about your priorities.

Wow! What a difficult position to be in!

Who's responsible for enforcing the lease agreement? I'd go to them about the sister who's violating the lease and see if I could have them booted from the premises.

That would solve one problem, and perhaps it will even send a strong enough message to the others that inappropriate behaviors and disrespect simply won't be tolerated.

It's horrible to be living somewhere that puts your physical and emotional health in jeopardy, I wish you the best in resolving some of the distress this has put you in, and the sooner you can do it, the better it will be for you!

[jazzyishere]

I wanted to contact the landlord, but I know him pretty well and he's kind of scared of us. I think he wouldn't care enough about the dogs over the weekend to step into the sorority mess. They are finally gone, but now I'm commuting the hour drive from my mom's house to college until the house has been dog-free long enough to be safe.

I've showed them my schedule before. I get dirty looks when I say I can't be somewhere because I'm at work. There's constant pressure to drop as many shifts as I can so that I can spend all of my time with them. If I was at everything I'd be totally broke.

I'm going to write a letter to our disciplinary board and see if that keeps the dog situation from happening again, but the girl who did it was our president. I don't think anything is going to get done. I just don't know what to do. If I write a letter complaining about her, I'm afraid I might have to sleep with one eye open....

Thanks for your suggestions though, it really helps to know that somebody is listening.

If my mom didn't mind me staying at her house until I could find some other living arrangements, then I'd kick the sorority to the curb and endure the hour commute.

Nothing!, and I mean Nothing!, is worth sacrificing your physical and emotional well-being for!

Good Luck & Best Wishes!

[Travelinglady]

So much for sisterhood, huh? I am a sorority member, so I do know the time sororities take. Not all my sisters were best buddies but the few who didn't like each other at least didn't cause overt problems. That said, we just had a room in a dorm, and not a house.

Is there not a sorority adviser you can talk to?