[riksie-dixie]

So, I am currently attending the local community college and graduating with an Associate's in Individual Studies, because my adviser said to do that and be able to graduate with an actual degree, basically guaranteeing my acceptance to any other SUNY school.

Now, here's the problem... There are two colleges I have in mind. One has an accredited art program and my best friend also happens to go there. However, it's two and a half hours away.

The other college doesn't have an accredited art program and it's only an hour away with no one I can really talk to on campus. However, the campus is really nice and it's easy to get there.

I tend to suffer from major anxiety attacks at least once or twice a year, and they last for a while... a month, at least. I am going to the doctor to discuss new medication, as Lexapro never worked for me. This is why my parents don't want me to go too far away. While I think I'm a little better with controlling them, my parents think otherwise.

I'm not sure what to do at this point. I feel like I'd have a better support system going farther away, because my best friend is always willing to listen to me without any sort of stupid comment about what I'm worrying about, and she reassures me a lot.

I'm feeling hopeless at this point. I want to be able to get my degree and a job, but I feel that my anxiety is going to hinder that and I'm going to be a wreck living at home.

[RomanSunburn]

Do your parents want you to live at home and commute the hour to and from campus?

Are you thinking about applying to these schools or have you already? When do you want to transfer there? Next fall?

I guess what I would do, if you haven't already, is apply to both schools just to make sure you do have two options. If you're not going to start until the fall or later, I would go to the doctor now to change meds. That way, you're still near your current doctor while you're adjusting to the new meds, in case you need to switch again or you have trouble during the interim between your old med and new med working. Then see how the next couple months go. Personally, I agree that the school farther away sounds like a better fit for you. Can you and your friend be roommates/get an apartment together? You can always start seeing a new T and pdoc right when you get there, too. You also wouldn't be so far away that coming home would be difficult. It also doesn't mean which ever school you pick has to be the one you graduate from -- you can always transfer again (a pain, I know, but still an option). You have to do what you think is right for you, not what other people think is right. You have to live with the decision. What's more, you'll either prove (not only to your parents, but to yourself) that you have learned the necessary skills to manage your anxiety and succeed, or you'll learn that that wasn't the right choice at that time (not a failure, mind you), you'll cope, and you'll learn new skills to help you the next time.

Keep replacing negative thoughts with positive ones -- "I won't be able to graduate and get a job" to "I can and I will graduate and get a job."

Good luck!

[riksie-dixie]

My parents would prefer that, if I want to go away to college, that I stay relatively local, which, in this case, would be the college that is only an hour away.

I have applied to these colleges and was accepted to the one two and a half hours away. I plan to transfer for Fall 2014.

I used to be on Lexapro, but weaned myself off of it because it didn't work. I haven't been on it for a few months, to say the least. My mother keeps on trying to get me to postpone the appointment because she doesn't want me to be on medication, like my dad and aunt, but I feel that I need it, despite me getting slightly better at coping, which my parents don't see.

I'm not sure if we could be roommates because she's already rooming with a friend and, from her stories, it sounds like this friend would be jealous if she were to room with me... I'm not about to ruin my friend's fun due to my anxiety issues, but I feel uneasy rooming with someone else who has to deal with my anxiety issues, if it does pop up again.

I can't see a psychiatrist/psychologist/therapist because we can't afford it, even with the sliding scale. We have insurance, but apparently it still costs a lot for an appointment. My parents refuse to let me see one and I don't have money to afford an appointment, either.

My main concern is if I end up dropping out and go back home for five months, because I have trouble finding a job - I also have trouble keeping a job, partially due to my anxiety (when it pops up). The longest I kept a job was two months, it was temporary, and everyone was friendly.

Needless to say, my parents don't trust me to go away to college, especially that far away.

[Perna]

At some point you are going to have to make a decision on what you want to do with and about your anxiety? It sounds like you are building up quite a bit of being anxious about being anxious and that is really hard to work with (I had that). Leaving home and parents and going away to school and figuring out what you want to work at, getting a job, etc. is pretty stressful for everyone and if we have not done anything much before on our own it is even more stressful but it has to be done as we cannot (or do not want to) live at home with mom and dad all our lives? The longer we practice being afraid of the future and what might happen the more ingrained that habit will become and the worse we will do.

If you are not going to transfer until September, I would make a plan now, get to the library and find books on anxiety and find a social group to join and work at getting out of the house and making a couple friends and learning to talk to other people and be more on my own, etc. so you do not have quite as much additional anxiety on top of what is naturally there for everyone. Make a plan to show your parents (and yourself) that you can do this if it is what you want.

[riksie-dixie]

Originally Posted by Perna

At some point you are going to have to make a decision on what you want to do with and about your anxiety? It sounds like you are building up quite a bit of being anxious about being anxious and that is really hard to work with (I had that). Leaving home and parents and going away to school and figuring out what you want to work at, getting a job, etc. is pretty stressful for everyone and if we have not done anything much before on our own it is even more stressful but it has to be done as we cannot (or do not want to) live at home with mom and dad all our lives? The longer we practice being afraid of the future and what might happen the more ingrained that habit will become and the worse we will do.

If you are not going to transfer until September, I would make a plan now, get to the library and find books on anxiety and find a social group to join and work at getting out of the house and making a couple friends and learning to talk to other people and be more on my own, etc. so you do not have quite as much additional anxiety on top of what is naturally there for everyone. Make a plan to show your parents (and yourself) that you can do this if it is what you want.

At the moment, I think I'm getting better at handling my anxiety. I agree, though; I think I'm getting anxious thinking about me getting anxious at the college.

I'll try and take your advice, though. It's really hard to get out while all of my friends are away at college or live to far away, and I go to a community college at the moment; social interaction is fairly low. :/