[umkelll]

I applied to a large amount of colleges/universities. I believe I have applied to maybe 10-15. I wasn't expecting to hear bad news because I've always been such a great student... I guess, that is, before I got into high school. I will admit that my grades are terrible, just the absolute worst. Freshman year I really screwed up and I know it's all my fault because I was easily influenced by my "friends". But anyways, I really tried to pull my grades up so that they wouldn't affect me later on... Even so my math grades have always been horrible, I suck at math. So now that I've heard back from schools, so far I've gotten 5 rejection letters & every time I think about it I start to cry again... I feel so stupid and like such a disappointment to my parents, to myself. I feel like such a failure. I'm just too stupid to get into a decent school, is that it?

And it's not only that... I've been getting chastised and scolded by so many people lately, they keep asking me "well what are you planning to do!?" and it's just all too overwhelming. And on top of that what if I do get accepted in a school, I have no idea how i would pay for it. I could get a job but I that would barely cover anything...

[LilithOwl]

Firstly, college is not for every one. Have you considered sitting down and asking yourself if you are having all this anxiety over college if it is because of not getting in or the fact that you might get in? Secondly, I know this is hard and when you are in the well of depression you can be hyper sensitive to your parents/family, however you only have one life and you need to be the person living it; because no matter what happens you are.
I believe you are a smart person. I can tell because you are here, reaching out for support, working on yourself, and that makes you smarter than the majority. And when a college accepts you they will be the lucky ones to have you.
Colleges have lots of ways to make sure you can pay to come to their school or they wouldn't be in business. If your parents are so supportive and determined than they will co-sign on a loan; doesn't mean they pay for any of your school just says they will back up your word that you will pay back the loan. I am currently a full time student and if you have any specific questions let me know. Personally I took 6 years after highschool before I went back to college. If I hadn't had taken that time to learn about myself and grow into the person I am now I wouldn't have found the field I love today.
I hope this helps keep your head above the water. Lots of love and hope coming your way from me.

[RomanSunburn]

Don't feel bad about getting rejected. My high school valedictorian was told she would get into any school she applied to. She got rejected by every single one except her "safe" school. Having good grades aren't everything. Years later, I realize the schools that rejected me weren't the right school for me anyways. They did me a favor.

Try not to let what others say affect you. You're young and of course you're still figuring everything out. I think the pressure we put on kids these days is ridiculous, especially with such a high price tag to go with it. If you do want to go to college, which as Lilith said, isn't for everyone, you do have options even if you don't get accepted. You can take time off and work, or you can go to a community college and bring your GPA up (at a fraction of the price). You can contact the admissions people to the school you really want to go to and find out why they didn't accept you -- have a meeting with them to find out what you can do to make yourself a better candidate.

If you do get accepted, in addition to the things Lilith mentioned, you can and should also apply for FAFSA -- Free Application for Federal Student Aid. They can get you government loans with lower rates and eligibility for work study. Work study is just on campus jobs that are set aside just for students in need.

Good luck.