[bubbles00]

i just don't know what to do anymore. i applied to college/university and i just don't know what to do. i applied to business (at uni) and enviro sci (at college). everything i want to do is blocked out for me (which is art) and now that i kinda want to do business my family is sparring it. my parents always wanted me to become a doctor and i never wanted to do that (when i was younger i promised myself i will never become a doctor). my parents think i'm failing although i have a 88% and my family marked me as a failure. my older sis has flunked out of university and is convincing me that i'm stupid, a failure and i won't make it a day through university and that i should stick to college. and then at the same time she tells me i should do what i want to do and i shouldn't do what my parents tell me to do (and i can't apply to art anymore because the deadline to apply is long gone) and then she says to go into enviro sci (she's contradicting herself). as for my other siblings they don't care and they say that i'm really really stupid and a huge fail so i should go to college. i want to make something out of my life and i want to show my parents that i can do so much so that's why i was thinking business and as for enviro sci you barely get paid anything plus it's extremely boring. i just don't know what to do. my family has convinced me i'm a fail so i'm scared about going to university but i think i could do it but then again my sis is telling me no. and i don't want to do enviro sci at all. what should i do? stick to business at uni or go to college for enviro sci? or should i just take a year off after high school to sort out my life? i'm at my breaking point :'(

[Bri123]

"i want to make something out of my life"
Hello, I am someone currently struggling in my post-high education because I feel unable to meet others' expectations. Bubbles00, you have plenty of time to sort out what you want to make of yourself. DO NOT FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO RUSH INTO COLLEGE NOW!

If you go, you should have an idea of why you want to be there, a motivation to do your work. Or you should have the confidence in yourself to try a field out and make a major decision to change if it doesn't work out.

For right now, ask yourself if you have a general interest in a field. Will you put in more study time than required for a grade? Will you on your own pursue opportunities of advancement such as internships, research, further classes? Do you understand what things you believe yourself capable of?

If your at your "breakin' point" now, I suggest you talk to non family members, like a counselor. It's intimidating, and you likely will feel scared or embarrassed because otherwise there would be no problem, but they can probably give you much better personalized feedback. More so, perhaps they can help you plan out the near future.

Taking time in between your education can prove to be more beneficial than going straight through. Find something to keep you active and engaged, a job maybe. Make sure it is relative your interests or in an area in which you hope to excel in the future, so you always feel like your on track of your life's purpose.

Good luck, have the strength to make you decision, and hopefully take only what you need from everyone's advice.

it's your life.

in the end, what you study, where you study, it's all up to you

[Perna]

If you don't want to do environmental science, you probably will not do well in it? I would do what you find most interesting of your current choices, throw in some art classes as you go along and see if you can figure out a way to combine them. You will need a major (business) and a minor (art "business"/museum business, etc.), having a way to make some money when you are older and then gradually move into doing something more to your liking by taking more art classes (you don't have to quit learning or stop doing what you would like just because you finish "school"; school does not make you an artist, "doing" art does -- people who get degrees in writing are not writers, people who write are), etc. Life is not neat and tidy, following what your parents want or even what you want; there will be surprises ahead and the better you can use them to get closer to what you yourself want (your parents/family you grew up with won't be there forever in that constellation) probably the happier you will be.

[pinkbutterfly]

It's so hard when you have people all around you telling you what you should do. What you shouldn't do. What you will succeed at, and what you will fail at.

It's hard to block those voices -- hard not to listen.

It sounds like you're afraid that some of those voices are going to be right. Fear of taking the risk in case they are right?

Taking risks can be really scary. But then taking risks is part of life. Part of what makes life exciting and fulfilling. Sometimes taking small risks can help us gain courage to take more risks.

Maybe start with writing about what YOU want...your dreams...try to clarify a bit what you want?

[mazing]

It can be hard when you have people trying to tell you what is best for you Ultimately though you need to look at what is right for you. There is nothing worse than looking back and regretting that you didn't get to do the things you wanted to do because you were living up to others expectations and not your own. If you are not sure now I would suggest taking some time off, on your own, to think about your interests and where you want to be.

From what you have said it doesn't sound like you are failing, but can you talk to your career advisor/school counselor about your grades and what you need? Thy can advise you on what your options are.

[bubbles00]

Originally Posted by pinkbutterfly

It's so hard when you have people all around you telling you what you should do. What you shouldn't do. What you will succeed at, and what you will fail at.

It's hard to block those voices -- hard not to listen.

It sounds like you're afraid that some of those voices are going to be right. Fear of taking the risk in case they are right?

Taking risks can be really scary. But then taking risks is part of life. Part of what makes life exciting and fulfilling. Sometimes taking small risks can help us gain courage to take more risks.

Maybe start with writing about what YOU want...your dreams...try to clarify a bit what you want?

Exactly! they keep telling me i'm going to fail... sometimes i thing they are right... i want to take the risk and just go into business but if fail they would come laughing at my face. i don't want to take the risk because i will waste a lot of my parents' money especially since the business program is soooo expensive and i have a big family... but then again 20 years from now i don't wanna say "i wish i had done that...". i'm just so confused should i give business a shot? or do what my parents want me to do?