Strife about attending college

I don't know how to deal with this. I go to school for myself... I do it to accomplish my dreams and give myself a future, and not anyone else. However, I found people treat my schooling in a way I can only describe as "nit picky." When I went to high school, people could care less, which was perfectly fine with both them and myself. I could delve into my own work by my own standards. Now that I'm in college... Man! People are constantly asking me how many units I'm taking, and if I'm taking any less units than normal, they sneer at me and their eyes brighten up. They'll say very cheesy things that cover up their emotions, say how difficult college can be for some people, or just become infatuated with the subject of taking less classes for some reason. The people who are the worst at this are people who have never gone to college themselves. I mean, going to college isn't anyone's requirement. I could just as easily not attend college to my own risk, and I won't be hurting anyone. Still... Why is it anyone else's business? Why do they suddenly have to compare themselves to me? It's making my anxiety so much worse, and now I'm always worrying that I'm not taking enough units. There are some people who are very supportive of me in attending school who don't do this, however. I do try to listen to them.

you need to learn not to let other peoples opinions bother you. simply do not answer their questions, just say you are going part time. they don't need to know how many units you are carrying. it took me ten years to get my associates degree. just tell them you are in no hurry, you are doing it for your own enrichment. is part of yourself not lving up to your own expectations that you are letting this bother you so much? think about it. take care

Thank you Kaliope. I feel a lot calmer. Yes, I should focus on taking the right amount of classes that suit myself. I guess some people are just a little insecure, as many people are to some extant, which isn't such a bad thing as long as it doesn't go out of hand. Well, I always have worried about "being the best." Although I'm trying to get over it, it could be affecting why I worry about those opinions. Well, maybe I'm comparing myself to other people who are very successful at a young age. Maybe that doesn't make them more "special," but instead they are taking their place in the world, and if that makes them happy, good for them . Worrying about them isn't going to help me, after all. Plus, their business is none of my business, just like it isn't of people questioning my college work . Ha, I seem to be doing to people who are young and "super smart" what I think people around me are doing.

Hey, you are in college. Go at the rate that suits you. As you say, a lot of folks aren't even in college at all.

When people start prying around into something I think is none of their business, I change the subject or excuse myself to "go to the bathroom" or whatever. No explanation, no apologies ... just not something I want to discuss or explain. It feels a little awkward for a moment and then we are off on a more pleasant topic. Case closed and I've kept my dignity.

The other thing to remember is that besides that we need to take things at our own pace, not all class units/credits are created equal. Some semesters can carry heavier loads depending on what we are taking and how one is doing, and other semesters/terms because of the nature of the classes have to be eased up on the credits/units to allow for the outside work that comes with them because there is so much with some classes more than others. Not everyone understands this, those that do are ahead of the game; some never figure this out though and plow ahead with disastrous results. You are ahead of the game already having figure this out and what you need to work for you in taking the amount of units that you can handle successfully.

Do what you need to manage your studies that works best for you because what is right for you may not work for someone else and vice versa. Those, that may be trying to help by offering advice or criticism, just take in what is helpful and leave/ignore the rest, because everyone WILL have an opinion. It is only yours that matters. Find your groove and you will do fine.

I think sometimes when people are comparing themselves to others they are remembering their own glory days or wishes and ideas and not necessarily criticizing us though it sounds like that when they took more courses (or would take more if they were in school :-) etc. It is just an opportunity for them to talk about a subject they would not otherwise get to talk about because they aren't doing "that" right now. I think they would talk the same to any college student, not just you, you just happen to be convenient People have opinions on everything they hear about, whether they are knowledgeable about the subject or not.

I totally get how you're feeling. I've always pushed myself in school because I wanted to do well. I start college in the fall and have been having a lot of issues financially. Many people sneer at the major I plan to receive, saying that I should focus on computers because that's where the money is. However, you have to listen to YOUR heart. It's your career and your future, not everyone else's.

I agree, MusicIsLove95. I really don't understand why someone would tell you to go for a degree that pays more. Because, they won't be getting the money you earn. I do feel like there are some people have a sense of what's "right," maybe born from bitterness in their own life, that they preserve with the same bitterness. It's like a sort of pride for their sorrow or intelligence with no real intent of kindness for some people. However, I think others may genuinely care about you and want you to be well taken care of financially. However, having a lot of money can't make you happy on it's own. Sorry, doing a bit of rambling now...

I'm 35 and about to embark upon finishing my bachelor's degree. Everyone seems to have an opinion about why I shouldn't do it or how I should be doing it. I just remind myself that I'm doing this for me, and I will do it exactly how I want to achieve the goals I have set for myself.