Finding College extremely difficult.

Hi, I'm going to end up ranting. I appologise now, I've had a rough day and I need to vent a little.

I've been sat for the last 4 hours, trying to do a piece of homework for Religious Studies. It will be the first piece of homework (out of about ten pieces given out to the class) I hand in, since the start of year. I didn't do the other homeworks, because I couldn't. I don't have a reason to be honest, I just didn't do them. I found it difficult and every time I sat down to start doing it, I'd get distracted/bored/tired and just not do it.

I have very low concentration/attention, especially on things I find not-so interesting... like Religious Studies. I like the idea of the subject and I'm good at it, I just find it incredibly dull and my motivation is non-existant.

I recieved my half-term report yesterday - Law is excellent (predicted C/D, achieving A/B), Psychology is also good (predicted C/D, achieved is not accounted for as I missed the first three weeks due to a change in subjects).

Religious studies (C/D pedicted, C/D achieved). Oh and not to mention her notes - basically the TL;DR is that I am good at the subject, but unless I attend and unless I hand in every piece of homework, I'm going to fail the subject.

She knows about my struggling with the homework and she also knows about my mental health issues, yet I feel as though that is being completely disregarded when she thinks of me.

I don't want special treatment, who does really? But I do need consideration and understanding. I'm not sure what to do.. I also don't want to be kicked out of college (which can happen since it happened to me last year - pretty much the same circumstances). On top of this, my mental health worker lady (a clinical nurse -_-) isn't doing anything to actually help me (check my other thread in Psychotherapy if you want background on that). So yeah, I feel completely alone and as though no one is giving me the space I need to sort my head out. Every time I feel like I have settled a little, a teacher comes a long or I get a bad mark on my essay or whatever, and it sends my head into a frenzy - like I go back to square one again. I imagine it a bit like a wave on a calm sea, I eventually get a bit settled and calm until a massive wave comes and messes with my head.

My attendance for RE is low because the class has a lot of people and my social anxiety seems to spark up whenever I get near to the class room.

I don't know what to do. I need help! Please, any advice you have would be welcomed. Everyone around me is just like "Do the homework.. problem solved." or "Just go in.. it's not that bad." And it makes me want to scream.

Can you talk about the issues with a counselor on campus. They might be more empathetic and know of ways to work with your teachers. Its been many years for me and when I was depressed I just failed. I have heard there is a lot more focus on helping people with issues on campus today.

Hi I thimk Zinco gave some encouraging support about seeking a counselor. Have you checked to see also if thers a dept that handles individuals with disabilities? I finished my degree this pass summer and they had a special department that helped with those needing support mentally, physically etc. I know can be challenging when dealing with emotional issues. What I occasionally did was allow only a certain amount of time when stressed to do something that was fun and different. Then I returned to my studies. I am assuming your classes aren't online therefore your forced to endure the anxiety of proformance among your peers. One think to keep in mind is that you may not be in the boat "alone" there's many students that could and most likely struggling like your self they just don't verbalize it. I know it's had to zone out others too; is There a supportive skill you can use to keep yourself on tract? A particular wrist band with encouraging words, a necklace to wear and you can touch it when stressed, or even a picture to look at occasionally to keep your stress levels lower then usual. My first choice would be to check out if thers a support group or councelor at your school. I've gotten to the point and just pushed myself to do things because I knew they wouldn't be handed to me, I did the extra effort to achieve my goals. Sometimes pushing ourselves is the best medicine when we're stuck. ����

Counsellor on campus, yes. Whether they are actually helpful or not - no. They wont see me on a regular basis since I see a therapist outside of college, but I can go if I need to speak on an urgent matter. They know about everything and were instructed by the head of A-Levels and the therapist I see, to inform my tutors and let them know of any needs I have (or let them know about me - i.e. I often dissociate in class or sometimes simply zone out and they should have been told to leave me be when that happens and let me come back round - but instead, I have teachers harping on at me whenever I look away or appear to have a blank expression...).

I've tried pushing myself. But I don't seem to have the motivation to do what I set out to do. Right now, I'm sat at 11pm trying to do the 3+ essays I have due tomorrow. Worst part is, I'm currently struggling with pain and weakness in my muscles which is worsened with stress and seems to be worse (when stressed) in my legs and arms/hands. I can barely write 2 lines without having to massage my wrist back into a working fashion, just to write another sentence or two before having to stop again.

I'm currently running on about 3 hours of sleep a night and me and my boyfriend are having a rough patch (he's finding it difficult to deal with me and my crazy head lol).

A girl at college, on Monday, tried to commit suicide by jumping off the 3rd floor balcony. Luckily she was stopped. Turns out, or rumor has it, college knew she was suicidal but the Learning Support (/counselling service) had done barely anything to help her. Thankfully she's safe and in hospital now. But it seems my college isn't the best with dealing with mental health as this is the fifth time someone has tried to commit suicide in college or near the campus. Luckily they've all been stopped by students and all were assumed to be a cry for help, but that's not the point.

I'm getting to the point of giving up on college. I would do online courses/homeschooling but it costs a lot and we don't have the money at the moment. This is also my last chance at A-Levels. If I get kicked out or fail, well, I can't try again.

Sorry for the essay (and any spelling mistakes - typing half-one handed isn't fun). I've had a particularly tough day and kinda just needed to rant/talk to someone.

This definitely has a negative effect. Probably bigger than you imagine.

Source: I'm ending my Bachelor's degree (I've been 4 yrs in the battlefield) and this semester I had weekly homework. I needed some heavy concentration skills. Besides I usually had less time than needed for finishing those, and teachers aren't likely to give extra time, so I didn't sleep the whole night about once a week. Then, during the day seeing from my desk happy people everywhere sharing spontaneous words, emotions and screaming, while I was like a ghost in the shell, numb, zombie-like 24/7. Besides this faculty fosters an moderate spencerian-like competitive attitude, "law-of-the-jungle" like. i think it's the result of being in a math/science oriented campus where negative emotions are rationalized and when showed, seen like a lack of responsibility from the individual he/she should treat. I ended being quite more cynical than I needed because of this, luckily it's not full like that and it's pretty likely there are some laid-back people for just relaxing instead of showing an inferiority complex via competence/distrust. I ended distracted to the point I slept more no matter what I had to do. World wasn't a Heidi's prairie after it but it improved. Definitely. Same happy happy joy joys around, same kind of homework and difficulty, but I was in better condition to forget my context and focus on what I needed. Things resulted to be simpler than what I expected more than once.

Another things that may help:
- Sports. Really. Just twice a week it's a reasonable booster. No matter of your condition unless you actually have a disease/disability or doctor says just don't.
- Lazy times: In my place they think the best one is the one who keeps all the time breaking his mind for success and excellence. I think that's truly more a fantasy archetype rather than a realistic model to follow. If you notice you aren't productive, don't push yourself. That won't work; besides not achieving the task, you'll only lose time and feel negative. Try enjoying moments where you absolutely stop thinking on any duty/homewhork/test/whatever.