Hi there!

I'd be interested to know what people here have based their study choices on Did you choose your field because it was your childhood dream, something you'd always been interested in, something you first tried out by working in the field in some capacity, something your parents/someone else did/wanted you to do..? Have you been happy with your choices?

I'm asking because I'm trying to figure out a direction for my life and am finding it incredibly difficult.. I've always been a people-pleaser, and pleasing my mother, in particular, used to be important for me - she gave or withheld love based on how I 'performed'..

Now I'm totally lost as to how I'm supposed to choose what I want to do if it's not what she wants! And I don't want to please her anymore - been there done that, felt horrendous.. But am I supposed to 'follow my dreams', do what's sensible - what?? I know many people go through this struggle, so maybe we can brainstorm together

[kim_johnson]

I guess for me my decisions have been trying to find a blend between viability and interest. So... Thinking about what I can do to earn a living on the one hand, and thinking about what I like to do on the other.

I started out doing Secondary Teaching because English Lit was my best subject at Secondary School and it seemed to be something I could do with an English degree. But I ended up hating my education papers and so I changed my mind on that...

I got very interested in some of the debate on 'follow your passion for a career' vs 'develop a rare and valuable skill so you have the money / time off in order to follow your passion' debate...

I think that people vary with respect to how much they have a passion that jumps out at them.

And people vary with respect to how persistent vs variable the objects of their passion are.

So... Whether your passion can be discovered or whether it is best ignored or whatever... Depends on the person.

When you withdraw / disengage a little from the expectations that other people have of you... It can indeed take some time to figure out what is going on for you. Exposure to different things is important... Sometimes it is enough to start with a general direction... THings become more refined... Opportunities become available as you go...

Is college an option for you? Just the one or multiple? What subjects do they offer? What grabs you? Why? Etc...

[Agentfyre]

Identifying what you want to do for the rest of your life isn't as easy as it seems for many people.

For me, college right after high school was forced on me by my parents. Because of this, I didn't take it seriously and failed out within a year. Then, I found what I thought was my dream job, and I did that for 4 years. For those four years I worked as a graphic designer. I had no experience, they just let me learn as I went. I did 3D animation, photoshopping, and video editing. It was amazing.

Then, after the 4 years, I realized it wasn't what I wanted to do for the rest of my life like I thought. I took the time to search inside myself and researched jobs that related to my interests. I to this research seriously, and I questioned people in the field as well as read up on what the jobs entail before I made a decision.

Eventually, I ended up quitting the graphic design job so that I could go back to college to pursue my new interest. Now that I was doing it for me rather than my parents, I was able to not only finish school, but get a Master's degree. This was a big deal since no one else in my family had ever had more than an Associate's.

It takes time and effort to find what you really want to do. Don't allow yourself to feel rushed into picking something right now and having to be stuck with it forever. Take your time, and be willing to change your mind down the road.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

I went to a careers advice office and did some tests which said I should work with words and science, a technical writer perhaps - I did sciences and English, and after various jobs in science I am now a technical journalist so I ought to have taken more notice back in 1974.